I have to keep taking days away from it all, no tv, no internet (or just stick to watching funny videos etc) as I'm finding it harder to control my anxiety. I've suffered with depression, anxiety, and agoraphobia for most of my life, with periods of doing well. I'm used to being cooped up but this is something on a new level even for me. I live alone, no friends or family but my heart really goes out to anyone with any family as you all have extra to worry about.
I'm lucky in that I get my meds delivered weekly, have done for about 10 yrs now. Just as this was all starting I had mental health support workers coming in a view to getting me back out again. So they are no longer coming obviously, so I haven't seen anyone for about 6 weeks now except to say thank you through the door to my lovely pharmacy delivery chap. I haven't heard from the NHS so assumed I wasn't bad enough to be on the shielded list even though if I catch this, I'm not going to survive. I spoke to my GP surgery after getting advice from the helpline, and my GP was surprised I hadn't heard from them as he said as far as he was aware I am on the list. I have heart disease, 2 heart attacks, stents, heart failure at a point that I can't have any surgery at all, not even a simple hernia op I need as I won't survive an operation or intubation, I constantly battle pulmonary oedema (fluid in lungs). Plus I have a few other things on the vulnerable list so the GP's class me as extreme risk. This is what's causing me the most anxiety, not the dying, I've accepted that will happen at some point, but that if I don't hear from the shielded list, will I have to just go about things like others. When construction is allowed to start again for example, my landlord is doing major renovations to my block and I'll have to move out for a couple of days. So I'm getting more anxious, which raises my heart rate, which causes more anxiety trying to keep it down as I don't want a 3rd heart attack, which leads to me self catastrophising, which leads to more anxiety. A vicious circle.
I've managed to get a shopping slot for the end of this month, that will have been 2 months between shopping. I'm lucky that I'd already got loads of instant noodle and soups, so I have food, no nutrients but far more lucky than a lot of people.
I've rambled on sorry, but one reason I have to take days away from the news/internet is that I find my getting more anxious because others are, my brain seems to think that's how I should feel, so it does, if that makes sense. This is no reflection on anyone else, it's just the way my daft brain has always been.
I hope all of you, stay safe, and well, and that this nightmare ends sooner than later for all of you.