Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Is now the time that depression is starting to hit?

116 replies

ImfinallyaMummy · 12/04/2020 22:54

The first 3 weeks we felt like it was a holiday, a bit of a novel way to spend time doing things we never do. 3 weeks on and depression is starting to take its toll. It's like Groundhog Day,

No day is different, there's nothing to look forward to and can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Even when lockdown ends the threat of the virus is still there so life won't return to normal.

How are people coping? Isn't depression starting to sink in now with others?

OP posts:
celan · 13/04/2020 22:01

@homeappliances Same here. Flowers for you.

Tonkerbea · 13/04/2020 22:18

Me too. I've hit a wall.

stuckindoors77 · 13/04/2020 22:27

Yes! I've been jogging along not too badly at all then the last couple of days I'm in a terrible mood, really down and cry when I think about my family. I really shouted at my 7 year old earlier too because he played up massively during our zoom chat with my mum and dad. I miss them so much and all he does is misbehave to get the attention back on him.... I was so angry 😡 but he's only 7!!

wheresmymojo · 13/04/2020 22:30

Actually my main concern is the opposite.

I was completely anxious, stressed and burned out in January from my job.

Now we're in the middle of a global pandemic, I'm unemployed, DH is unemployed, we're defaulting on financial commitments and I don't know how we'll make it through the year without being bankrupt.

But...

All of that is a tiny proportion of the stress I felt in my normal day to day life because of my job!

Ifonlywecouldwishuponastar · 13/04/2020 22:32

Yes. I've been my lowest today. Chats on WhatsApp seem to have disappeared as in I guess people have nothing to say, and I just feel utterly rubbish.

Grandmi · 13/04/2020 22:35

It’s really hard ,we have 5 adults ,baby and a dog at home . Luckily a small garden . We have a routine so the 5 adults go out at different times of the day either walking the dog or pushing a pram . It has given us a little bit of routine. The three young adults are worried about their jobs ,Uni course etc but our way of dealing with the samey days is to remind us that our monotonous days are saving lives and that kind of keeps us going. I cannot imagine what some families are having to deal with bless each and every one of them .Keep strong everyone.X

wheresmymojo · 13/04/2020 22:42

FWIW my strategy which has been working well:

  • Made a huge list of all the things I've wanted to get done but haven't had time for when I work such long hours usually (it covers two sides of A4 - everything from life admin, jobs around the house, DIY, etc)
  • Added things I've always fancied trying or learning (e.g. watercolour painting, free online courses, etc)
  • Added all the projects I've wanted to start or am part way through (making a bug hotel, a wildlife pond, a compost heap, finish re-upholstering a chair, etc)
  • Started a virtual book group
  • Started a virtual coffee morning with other women on my estate
  • Started a virtual coffee and networking thing on LinkedIn
  • Made a list of old friends I haven't seen for years and contacted them to catch up
  • I made a rough schedule every morning when I get up of what I'm going to do that day
  • I've made some little gifts and sent them to people in the post as a surprise (like my goddaughter)
  • I've started two new businesses.

Honestly having a project I'm excited about or can look forward to getting done has been my actual saviour.

I'm about five hundred times happier on lockdown than doing my actual job Blush

wheresmymojo · 13/04/2020 22:43

I don't have DC though by the way, I'm sure I wouldn't be getting this stuff done if I was home schooling or dealing with toddlers...

Breadandroses1 · 13/04/2020 22:43

Yup.

DP has had a particularly bad weekend as easter is a biggie for his family and his sister and nephew were supposed to be coming to stay.

We are fortunate in lots of ways- we have a garden, we're still getting paid. But we have 2 young kids, one with ASD. We are both 'key workers' ( not in anything frontline lifesaving) but my workload has pretty much tripled with C19 work and I now have half the time to do it and my team have all been redeployed. I am tremendously stressed about work and also that DC1 in particular (youngest is nursery age and am relaxed about formal learning) is doing sod all schoolwork because one of us is always working and the other is trying to keep the house running and the little one looked after etc etc (and because of the ASD it's a massive struggle getting DC1 to do anything).

Plus the house is a total tip. And neither of us can escape to see friends at all.

I'm actually used to spending periods where I can't go out, curfews etc and not being able to access food, entertainment etc for work- but I don't/didn't have the crushing weight of domestics on me as well.

Plus we're 90% sure we've actually had it a fair while ago, so on a personal level it seems a bit pointless.

hopsalong · 13/04/2020 22:45

Yup, depressed here too. Like @SabrinaTheTeenageBitch I'm worried that the life I imagined, to begin with, we'd be returning to is gone forever. I was ill for three weeks (not tested, not hospitalised) and GP in central London was pretty sure I (and my husband, possibly children) had the virus. So I have no fears for my own family. My only other immediate family member has definitely had it (hospital test) and made a good recovery. Even before the illness, and despite having some health anxiety in general, I was never especially concerned about getting it -- at my age, in good health, no co-morbidities, fit, etc the risk of dying is tiny.

But what's the end game? Was very depressed today to read the news about care homes, and to think about the suffering there, people dying without family members present, the NHS not even attempting to treat etc. Many of the most vulnerable (to this virus) people in our society aren't able to self-isolate, and they aren't being given hospital treatment. There were 250,000 people (2011 stats) in care homes. Are they just all being left to die? I would gladly go and volunteer in one and take advantage of my assumed immunity/ inability to spread the virus, but we don't have the testing to make that possible, so carers are going in infected...

Meanwhile, I'm trying to do ten hours a day of work in three hours while my husband valiantly battles with two small children (then we swap). I feel very sorry for my students (I teach in a university) and we are manifestly letting them down. I also worry that his career (he had just got to the point in early 40s of fulfilling a lifelong dream, in a field where that's hard to do) is tanking, even effectively over. We're shelling out thousands of pounds a month in nursery fees for a service we're not receiving (because paying seemed the ethical thing to do, to stop the business closing), and becoming increasingly anxious about the mortgage. My children were great for the first two weeks but perhaps our mood is affecting them, or maybe they're just bored without normal routine of friends, playdates, nursery, outdoor activities (we live in a small central London space).

I've suffered from depression since my early 20s. All controlled, or so I thought, after a slightly ropey postnatal period. Now, with all the routines, props, etc kicked away, I feel things sliding out of control. If we could have a clear message about the future, of the kind Macron gave today, I think that would help a lot. Without much faith in the government, much faith in the statistics we're given, or much faith in the possibility of a vaccine being found soon, all I can see is living in an increasingly dispiriting, lonely, financially oppressed, hopeless lockdown or semi-lockdown forever.

RosesandIris · 13/04/2020 22:48

I have been mostly OK with good days and bad days. However the monotony of it all is beginning to wear on me, along with having no end in sight.
However I am dreading a return to pollution, traffic and noise. I am really finding the air so much cleaner and the quieter streets are a real boon.
Little irritations seem magnified and I am eating far too much though. I find watching uplifting programmes and turning off the news really helps.

SouthsideOwl · 13/04/2020 23:05

Yeah I'm feeling really low too. Theres only so far the 'we're in this together saving lives' when there's no end plan. With the best will in the world no solution will make everyone happy.

And then you have the NHS 'who to save' type charts, and people losing their fucking minds because why doesn't a 97 year old emphysema sufferer deserve a ventilator...that's not the point! It's if there isn't enough. This is something """unprecedented""" the bloody world and it's mum has said it enough, nature hasn't taken a holiday because we have smartphones now and people still die. Nevermind the medical and care marvels that helped them get to 93 anyway.

Our lives can't stop forever. We need an official statement like Macrons telling us the hopes for a timeline.

My heart absolutely bleeds for people in poverty, businesses in dire straits and people needing cancer treatment. I'm just so angry.

We absolutely need to help the NHS right now, but once the peak is over and we've got our shit together we need to carry on.

Sosadandempty · 13/04/2020 23:06

Me too - have really struggled today and got nothing done. Am a single parent with three teens. My online communication has also almost completely dried up and I agree it’s because there isn’t a lot to say any more. I am out of work and living off savings. Have become very fearful of catching the virus. I speak with my sister and Dad on the phone / by WhatsApp, and to my kids of course but the loneliness intrinsic to being a single parent has really been amplified. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

But I know that I am very lucky to be healthy for the moment, and I can’t believe NHS staff are having to risk their lives Sad.

And also - I completely agree with this

I would feel a whole lot happier if I could have confidence in the government to manage this. We should have been testing extensively and contact tracing like Germany has

AJPTaylor · 13/04/2020 23:09

In many ways it's a bit shit
Without psychic vision I changed jobs in March. So furlouhged without any actual pay and not entitled to benefits.
But hey ho.
I won't bore you with the other woeful bits but I refuse utterly to be pissed off whilst we are healthy and me and my nearest and dearest remain that way. In the last week 4 of my mates have lost a parent to the sodding thing so until such time as that happens I will count whatever blessings I can find.

DateLoaf · 14/04/2020 13:09

Flowers to everyone finding this time very hard Flowers thanks for the ideas on this thread.
I’ve made a list of to dos for everyone so I don’t have to try to remember them and also my own long list of things that I am grateful for which has helped me. I’m trying not to beat myself up for not ‘home schooling’ the kids in this time and not doing anything self-improving with the limited time off that I have had. This is probably for a while, so trying to kindly lower expectations a bit in my household seems to be a helpful way forward. Smile

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 14/04/2020 13:37

Really struggling here. It's the lack of end game which is getting to me. Plus this is hell. I'm not sleeping and my mental health conditions have returned so am really bad tempered/stressed/exhausted/wallowing in despair but there isn't any help because I don't have covid (although according to my dr sil I do...horrendous cough, chest pain, breathlessness on movement despite being pretty fit). I'm trying to keep busy but all the stuff I usually do to drown the voices in my head telling me how worthless I am isn't available. I can't get away from the kids but when I feel like this, physical contact is nails down a blackboard for me but they're only 22 months and 5 years old. Right now the only thing keeping me alive is the thought that my kids might be more damaged by my death than my current shitty parenting. At some point that's likely to swing the other way.

I have an essay to write for my University course but feel what's the point? I want my life back not this shitty existance and very soon, if it looks that we're not going to get that back, I don't want to survive this.

DateLoaf · 14/04/2020 13:58

Dinosaur hang in there. This virus and lockdown is absolutely not going to be forever. Just get through an hour at a time, a day at a time. Is anyone there with you?
Please tell your family and GP how you feel. Other posters with proper advice for you will hopefully be along soon. Your kids need you around for always, you know that. I wish you the very best. Better times will come. DaffodilDaffodilDaffodil

DateLoaf · 14/04/2020 19:30

Bump

whataboutbob · 14/04/2020 19:42

I’m struggling too. Mostly because of two teenage kids and their rocketing screen time and my inability to get them to stick to any kind of varied routine. Walks outside have fizzled out, they don’t want to go with me, won’t come to the allotment, won’t read books and DS1 (year 12) has done zero school work in days. If I ask/ suggest I am a nag. I see their days spent on an endless Minecraft session, while people go on radio talking about their exemplary routines involving meditation, lectures from the royal society, baking, crafting etc. None of which my kids have the remotest interest in. Then I have to WFH, shop cook and do housework. I know others have it far worse but it’s beginning to pall.

FarTooSkinny · 14/04/2020 19:50

Everyday is like Sunday
Everyday is silent and grey

AuntieMarys · 14/04/2020 19:54

I really struggled on Sunday. Felt restless, couldn't settle to read...sick of cleaning and feeling trapped.
And yet I am lucky! Healthy, able to walk every day and exercise at home, dh working.... but it just hit me how BORING it is and I worry about the economy and what life will be like after lockdown.
Felt better in the evening ( gin😀) and was sick of feeling sorry for myself.
Had 2 days of being much more productive.

AgentCooper · 14/04/2020 20:03

@FarTooSkinny Morrissey’s probably loving lockdown.

whataboutbob · 14/04/2020 20:14

@AgentCooper, It certainly won’t be challenging his feelings about the Chinese...

Uygop · 14/04/2020 20:20

Have had to go into hospital overnight. It's not a covid hospital, but still feels unsafe.
On the plus side, I've been working from home in a very badly paid but fun job, and teenage DD has taken on most of the cleaning and is coping well, after a transition period.

AgentCooper · 14/04/2020 22:45

@whataboutbob indeed! If I were a conspiracy theorist I’d be suggesting the old git’s got a virus-making lab tucked away somewhere...

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread