My Elderly Parents

[Cookiecrumbles7079]

I would like some advise. My parents are both 79 both very unsteady on their feet and both of Ill health. like millions of other people they are very sad, lonely and bored. I pop to see them about twice a week we chat through the window and I leave their shopping at their front door. I make sure I stand back like the rules state. The thing is I feel so sorry for them, i dont think they completely get the rules and want to see me more and want me to pop in! I feel bad for them, it's so upsetting. I have tried to explain to them but they look so hurt. They are used to going out every day in the car for little drives but they can't anymore. What are other people doing with their elderly parents?

I can’t see my mum without using public transport so ....I can’t.

Are you sure they don’t understand the rules? I reckon it’s possible they do but it’s just so upsetting, they’re in denial about it?

My mum is very upset but we’re not at the stage where we’d break rules yet. My sister and I live in different places and have both written to our MPs about this to see if it can be considered when relaxations come in.

Some Australian states are allowing visits to partners homes but not to parents homes!

I think it’s wrong for my mother to be isolated like this. She has a DNR so if she collapsed from covid I doubt they would do anything anyway.

I understand the strain in the nhs, my father worked for them for years, but even he would say, it doesn’t justify some of these draconian actions.

I chat to my mum every day on the phone. She wasnt so sure of this whole isolation malarkey at first but has changed her mind sharpish now she's seen (heard) how sick I've been.

My dad - it's tough. He's deaf and has dementia plus a dicky heart and dodgy kidneys, so prime corona fodder. We can neither see him nor phone him and I do worry that by the time we can he won't know us any more. But if he catches it he wouldnt last a week.

DM is 79 and has been SI since very start. She is fine but I don't think she'll ever leave her flat again. Phone daily and drop off shopping once a week.

My mum is 83, in general good health but can no longer drive and had a bad time with a back injury last year she is still getting over. I’m lucky she can still cook and clean.

We’ve been planning my mum’s old age for about years, having seen my gran become housebound and suffer. So my mum lives 2 minutes walk from my front door, and now she is SI, I still walk there every day with one or both of my kids and wave at her and chat through the window.

My mum already shopped online, and can use it email and Skype, so she feels connected unlike most old people, I have expect. I’ve encouraged her to phone neighbours, friends, family to get more diverse social contact. I WhatsApp her photos and videos of my kids and the veg patch I’m making. I’ve bought us both a load of veg seeds and we are seeing who can grow the best crops by summer.

I’ve also borrowed her iPad (disinfecting it before I return it) and set her up with a free YouTube trial, then added “The Shows Must Go On” and ‘National Theatre’ as well as some cute little exercise videos for old people, as the lack of physical mobility is causing her issues which will no doubt dog us long after lockdown is over. And she shares my Netflix account so we both watch films each week to give us something to chat about. And I set her up some online games (she likes simple Sim and puzzle games). And every few days, my DD reads a chapter of a book with her over Skype ( they both have same copy of the book) which my mum likes.

I also just let her unburden her worries and frustration. She is alone, and spends too much time watching the news. I think we all have moments of feeling lonel and angry.

I did cry on her birthday this week, but put on a smile to take her presents round (bought months ago luckily, as I was ill I have not been to a shop in 3 weeks). That evening, we got a curry delivered from the same restaurant and ate it at the same time. It wasn’t a shared meal but it was as close as we could get.

My mum also enjoys clapping for the NHS, she finds it very meaningful.

Thank you everyone for your replies. I know there are people much worse off. Found a lump in my breast a couple of days ago but somehow it just doesn't feel important to rush about getting it checked x