Step family/ isolation

[Sux2buthen]

I don't think we are wrong but more than happy to be corrected. We have SS 50/50 Sunday to Sunday usually. He's 15.
Since all this started obviously there's been changes. We had to self isolate for two weeks at one point so he couldn't come round, that was fine.
He's been a few times since and we've kept in touch with his mum. She says she's staying home with him.
He was supposed to come here yesterday but got in touch to say he'd been to his aunties (not staying in then) and although he didn't go in the house she now had symptoms including coughing so he wasn't going to come here. We explained he shouldn't have gone there at all etc and said it's another two weeks now and that's a real shame.
His mum has now contacted us to say her sister was being a hypochondriac and was probably wine so she's sending him round.
Now there's a row going on, we are concerned because if she was coughing enough to be worried then surely we should follow guidelines. He clearly hasn't been staying in and perhaps selfishly I'm worried about the small kids here however mildly they might get it. Are we being mean or sensible?
Yes we get on and all love each other there's usually no friction and no I wasn't the other woman lol. No drama like that.

My posts must be so boring lol

If he’s not been staying in he shouldn’t be coming to yours, he can’t be trusted on where he’s been.

He shouldn't be out socialising with another household then coming to yours, no.

Thanks, my partners got an attack of guilt so I'm hoping these replies reassure him he's doing the right thing.

After this we've been told that stepsons aunt got tested as she works at a care home. She got the all clear.
So SS arrived yesterday for a visit for a few days. I've just seen online that care homes in this county are about to start having tests made available to them
To me, this sounds like I'm being bullshitted. I don't know who's lying but I'm quite annoyed and not sure what to do

Apparently hay fever now.
So no test took place. I'm not a paranoid person but if she was coughing less than a week ago and I'm being lied to about tests and everything then I'm really angry.

Arguments now.
Can't work out if we should just continue with the visit or not.
As per, I'm the big bad nasty one for caring about isolation and doing the right thing.
Maybe it's too late to matter?

If he didn’t go into her house then I wouldn’t worry too much. I assume they dropped stuff round: loads of people are doing this to help people out.

If your step son didn’t go into the house and did what plenty of people have done and just chatted through the window or at a sensible distance on the doorstep, then I can’t see the problem with letting him come round.

When you say he ‘clearly hasn’t been staying in’, how much do you know about that? It doesn’t sound like he’s been flouting the rules from what you’ve said here, he could have just been going out for his daily exercise and stopped for a chat outside aunties house. That shouldn’t be enough to stop him from staying with his Dad imo.

He was playing in the garden and building. She was talking to him through an open window not right next to each other but close and for a while.
I just can't understand why people want to mix households at this point and make it unsafe for others even though the risk could be tiny. I just wish he hadn't been allowed to go there in the first place 🤦🏻‍♀️

Well it's not just his dad it's his brother and sisters.
Also I agree about talking through a window in theory but not going round to play and someone with symptoms is different to me.
We all want him here but for the sake of a few more days it would have been no issue at all

In the building? In your OP you said he didn’t go into the house? Which is it?

No, going round to play in the garden as I said. And building in the garden not 'in the building'

It does read wrong, sorry

Ok, thank you. Then, honestly, I think it would be extreme to keep your dss away for such a tiny risk. We have to be careful, but we have to use common sense and try to apply a balance between being careful and restricting basic normality to such an extent that it becomes detrimental for other reasons. If not allowing your dss to come over is going to cause tensions and arguments in your home then you’re just substituting the tiny risk of there being a potential problem, with a very real definite problem.

The guidelines don’t say that your dss should stay away in the circumstances you describe.

He's here, he has been since last night. It's just become apparent that we've been lied to about his aunt getting tested. It would have just been easier to wait the week and then done the usual routine. Easier all round lol

It might not have been easier for for your step sons other parent though, maybe she needed her co parent to take some responsibility for a few days. Maybe ‘tested’ really means that she’d spoken to a doctor who said the cough was highly unlikely to be coronavirus. I don’t know, but it’s done now, so try not to worry, the risk is minuscule so there’s no point in creating issues where there don’t need to be any. I hope you all enjoy your step sons stay.

Yeah I kind of think the same, I just wanted to hear from someone else that it's ok. Easy to get over thinking in this scenario.
I will say there isn't usually any issue with the mum, we tend to have a 50/ 50 split and he's no 'work' at all. She isn't mad keen on parenting in general lol so perhaps did fancy a break