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DP ANXIETY - How to deal?

3 replies

ConcernedWifeHere · 08/04/2020 15:24

Hi,

My DP works at a supermarket and ever since the coronavirus issues and then the lockdown, he’s become extremely stressed and anxious.
I think it’s due to us living with his parents who are elderly and both have underlying conditions. He seems very worried that either of us could put them at further risk when he goes to work (I’m wfh) or essential shopping/exercise. His belief is that this is much bigger than we are being told and even with adequate hygiene measures (eg handwashing/showering) a lot of people seem to be catching it (and dying) so it must be “strongly airborne”.

Aa a result, his tempers gone bad, he’s sleeping a lot, sitting around thinking a lot and in a constant state of panic.
I really think he needs time off from work but he’s also worried about losing his job if he gets signed off as sick.
I myself am not sure what to do and what the impact of signing off sick would have on his job.
Moreover, he is refusing to speak to his GP, but isn’t refusing for me to speak on his behalf.
Is this allowed?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

OP posts:
ConcernedWifeHere · 08/04/2020 15:51

I would be really thankful to anyone who can share their experiences or suggestions please Sad

OP posts:
alittlecloudfloatinginthesky · 08/04/2020 16:02

If he's agreeing for you to speak to his doctor, could you arrange a video call and ask for him to also be present, even if he doesn't want to participate? It can be tough to talk about mental health, but it's easier to join a conversation than to start one... do you think he might take part in a Skype type consult even if he's saying 'no' now?

Is there anything practical in the house you could do to help ease the anxiety in the meantime?
Any way to arrange the house to allocate separate areas for his parents and for you? I have a friend (NHS worker) who is effectively living in his garage at the moment, just using shared parts of the house (kitchen/bathroom) when needed and cleaning after use. He cleared out some junk, put in a camp bed and has wi-fi and a little fridge ... It sounds quite comfy actually, I'm not sure he'll be all that keen to give it up once this has all settled down!
You probably don't need to go that far, but maybe getting him to work out a rota for shared areas to keep yourselves a bit more separate from his parents if you have the space to do that.

ConcernedWifeHere · 08/04/2020 16:35

Thank you @alittlecloudfloatinginthesky. I think I will arrange it with our GP. You’re right, joining in is much easier.
I will also look into rearranging an area for him but it might be impractical in our home. Will see. Thank you for your response though - I really appreciate it Smile

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