Should I visit Father gravely ill without Covid?

[ShouldIVisit]

My 90 year old mother is looking after my 90 year old father, not expected to live more than a month. They do not have Covid 19 as yet. He is in a hospital bed at home dosed up on morphine (or some other sedative) and has nurses and carers visiting.

My family have been self isolating for weeks and washing down any food coming into the house.

Would you regard visits within the next month (10 miles) as essential? I would wear gloves and masks even if home made from laminate.

It is another for my 90 year old mother to cope with alone.

Thank you for your kind words. I have visited once as we thought his death was imminent today, but am more wondering about the next month. We have food deliveries I was thinking of cancelling but keeping them would help me support my mum at this time.

I don't know. If it was just your dad to consider then I would definitely go. But you could also be putting your mother at risk of Covid, and she may have years ahead. OTOH you've been isolating and as you point out the carers are probably more exposed to Covid than you are.

If you do decide to go, make sure you know how to take masks and gloves off without contaminating yourself.

What does your mum think. She might prefer to take the slight risk over coping alone

I would go stay with both of them if that was possible. It could be both of their last days and may be nice to spend it all together.

I would visit often at the very least but that's me and everyone is different.

What do you want to do, op?

Nothing would stop me.

The dreadful side is that at 90 if they get it, it won't be good. I'd go. Will your DM cope on her own afterwards?

Yes I would go, nothing would stop me.
When my dd died she died without family with her. It still haunts me now.
My mum died 2 years later, she was receiving end of life care I stayed at her bedside for 16 nights sleeping on a chair. I was paranoid about leaving her because of what had happened with dd. I will always be grateful I was with her when she passed away.
Take Care.

Name changed.
I’ve recently just faced a similar situation in the last couple of weeks. Travelled more than 10 miles to visit my dad dying in hospital. (Not the virus). They thought he had a few weeks to live. They let me in for an hour. I held his hands and he knew I was there. He died 2 days later.

Official advice is YES.
If you have a terminal illness you are free to ignore certain elements of lockdown in order to see your family. It’s your parents decision as to whether they are ok with it.
Personally I would.

Yes. Go.

If you do decide to go, make sure you know how to take masks and gloves off without contaminating yourself. Good point, thank you.

I'm not sure what my mum thinks, she never wants to trouble me but I know she appreciated the support of my visit. I also don't know what I want to do.

My mum is determined to.cope on her own after he dies, but I know it will be dreadful for her with Covid as she is very sociable. It will be awful afterwards too.

@ParkheadParadise

@Costofliving

Thanks all.

Good luck with whatever you decide