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Original poster

Contact with elderly mum

16 replies

stardustliz · 05/04/2020 08:48

My mum is 87. I have been dropping food round to her door and we have been in touch via video chat. She goes out each day for a short walk, usually around a green as this is quiet and opposite where she lives. She has asked if I can meet her to walk round the green with her (2 metres apart) but although it would be nice for her to have company, I don't think this is a good idea or allowed. What do others think ? Thanks.

OP posts:
unhappyclap · 05/04/2020 08:57

I don't think this is allowed as you are not part of the same household nor is this essential travel for you.

unhappyclap · 05/04/2020 08:58

I also thought the over 70s were not allowed to leave the house at all?

Hercules12 · 05/04/2020 09:00

I'm in a similar situation with a mother who is shielding. I leave food and medicine outside her flat door. You can't Saddo it.

Mamamia456 · 05/04/2020 09:00

What unhappy says. Tell her that when this is over you'll take her for afternoon tea or something else that you know she'll enjoy, so that she has something to look forward to.

Mamamia456 · 05/04/2020 09:02

Unhappy - Over 70s can leave the house, they just have to be extra careful.

Bornfreebutincovidchains · 05/04/2020 09:04

Yes im sure if you kept your distance outside it would be fine, even better if you both wear a mask.
It's no different to her coming across anyone on her walk as long as they remain at the proper distance.
At 87 I'd go with what my mum wanted and make it safe.

The other option is meeting at her house and talking through the window?
I would nt give up.
Covid may get her anyway and she may die having never laid eyes on her child again...

Your not meeting up up close etc.

thedevilinablackdress · 05/04/2020 09:05

That's not true unhappy The only people being asked to stay in completely are the extremely medically vulnerable (organ transplants, certain cancers, pregnant and with a heart condition) and those with symptoms and those in their household.

daisypond · 05/04/2020 09:07

I also thought the over 70s were not allowed to leave the house at all?
No, that’s not the case at all. How would they eat?

NotEverythingIsBlackandwhite · 05/04/2020 09:10

I would do that as long as you keep to the social distancing rules or, if she has a garden, could you meet there?

My dear Mum's funeral was last month and she was a similar age to yours. She would have really struggled with isolation as she went out every day and I would definitely have done this for her.

Carrie7469 · 05/04/2020 09:27

Covid may get her anyway and she may die having never laid eyes on her child again

What a horrible and unnecessary thing to say

Honeyroar · 05/04/2020 09:31

I would. My mum is elderly and isolating. I’m trying to keep her healthy mentally too. I don’t want her getting too lonely. If she’s going round the green she’s liable to meet other people (hopefully at a distance) so if you stay well away I don’t see why you can’t be “near” her and make her feel like she’s had some company.

Original poster
stardustliz · 05/04/2020 18:29

Thanks all. Mixed advice, which is similar to my thoughts really. I think I will stick to a quick chat (2 metres away) as I drop her food over at the moment. Xx

OP posts:
PotholeParadise · 05/04/2020 18:34

I would say no, because I think that if you are 2m apart for a sustained period of time, that could be a totally different ball-game (in terms of exposure) from passing someone momentarily at 2metres away.

I'd have a quick chat with her from a bit further away than 2m.

Honeywort · 05/04/2020 18:38

My mum is in her 80s too and lives a short walk away from me. Following on from seeing another poster saying she does this on another thread, I have been for short walks around the block “with” her. She is on one pavement and I am across the road on another - we’re both keen gardeners and afterwards when we speak on the phone in the evening, we talk about what is out/looking lovely in people’s gardens.

We live in a quiet village so don’t usually see any other walkers but if we do, I cross to Mum’s side of the road, speeding up to be behind or in front of her so The other people can have my side.

MummyNeedsWineNow · 05/04/2020 18:39

I took some grocery's to my.mum today. I swabbed them all down with antiseptic and antibacterial wipes and left them in the porch. We then sat in the garden about 3 or 4m apart for about 20mins as I've not seen her for a while and she's all alone. She appreciated human contact.

I don't think sitting in the garden 3m apart is in the rules. But common sense told me there was no harm, and it made her day, so I'll do it again in a few weeks.

Can't wait to give her an actual real life hug! and sit in the house with her with a cup.of tea! But that will have to wait many months :(

Original poster
stardustliz · 06/04/2020 19:48

Thanks all for the replies. Lots of others know similar situations. Take care everyone x

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