I’m a high risk pregnancy and am due to give birth in three weeks. My baby has developed serious complications in the later stages and I’m having to attend a lot of extra appointments at hospital. Going to these without DH has been horrendous as I’m having to digest a lot of scary information from doctors and consultants completely on my own. I’ve ended up in floods of tears on several occasions because I’m struggling to take it all in. I feel that as a mum to be, my mental health and needs are now entirely irrelevant. I know Covid 19 is now more pressing than anything else, but pregnant women still have to give birth!!
I’m also in a huge state of anxiety at having to spend so much time in hospital and coming into contact with so many people there. I feel it’s almost a given that I will catch this fucking virus - I know that I’ve touched my face after touching lift buttons and doors on more than one occasion. I was so distraught with worry about the baby that I wasn’t thinking right.
Money-wise we’re also in big trouble - I’m freelance and work in events and the industry has completely dried up. I don’t know whether I’ll ever get things back on track once this nightmare is over - it could be a year before mass gatherings are allowed again. After all these years working so hard to build something up and create a secure future for my baby it’s just gone overnight.
We’ve taken a mortgage holiday but it’s only for three months - how can we afford to pay after that? The blunt answer is we can’t, so we’re going to lose our home.
All this has really caught up with me over the last few days and I can’t stop crying. DH is trying to stay strong but I can tell he’s worried sick too.
I don’t know how much longer I can cope with all this - I’m at my wits end and can barely get out of bed in the morning.
Please don’t suggest I talk to my GP - they’re there to deal with people’s health issues, not act as an agony aunt. My local surgery is also closed.
I feel so upset and angry at the world that all this has happened. I feel like nobody’s listening to me and that my baby could be seriously ill.
I don’t know what the point of this post is really - I just needed to get it all out. I can’t cope anymore.