Severe panic attack

[Theodoreb]

I have bipolar 1 and schizophrenia and I got my vulnerability letter two days ago since then I've been frightened and paranoid, I'm anxious about running out of food and having to go buy some which is something I struggled with on a good day, my drain was blocked tried for two hours to do it myself before calling dyno out. I'm super anxious about my health never considered myself to be vulnerable let alone severely ive always been strong facing everything head on with dignity now I'm frightened.

My dog has gone to my mums as he couldn't go out in my garden (he will be back tomorrow) my mum lived with me until 5 weeks ago and now owing to my severe vulnerability I am unable to even see her.

I have 3 dc with SEN one has severe adhd is medicated but doesn't sleep until 2am and he also has anxiety and doesn't like being away from me so I have to sit with him till he can sleep we were waiting for Cahms to prescribe something to help with sleep but that has been postponed.

DD1 has severe autism and doesn't like being left in a room alone and requires nighttime care also until 12:00 when I leave her room to go see DS and get him to sleep.

DD2 has suspected epilepsy and should not be left alone after having a 30minute seizure which is still being investigated.

I have unfortunately had my monthly appointment with psychiatrist changed from FTF then cancelled entirely Friday when it was due last Monday. Today with everything going on I started seeing things which weren't there I grabbed my inhaler, and shut myself in the bathroom where I had a long panic attack, I don't want to see emergency services I want to see my psychiatrist and see if he can tweak my meds but I'm frightened to see anyone else. I am very paranoid and frightened It took years for me to trust my psychiatrist I don't think I can speak to someone else, not that I don't want to ask for help it's that my paranoia is immobilizing me so that I'm too paranoid to talk to anyone but my psychiatrist or my mum and while my mum listens she can't alter my medication.

I'm really sorry you're in this position and feeling afraid. I'm here for a handhold.

You poor thing. You have a huge amount on your plate and are living through scary, scary times, no wonder you are panicking.

It seems to me you need to contact your psychiatrist and tell them you need a phone appointment urgently. Do you have an email address for them?

I have a direct number for my psychiatrists secretary she usually passes my messages on to my psychiatrist. I cope usually fine it's just that letter and the drain it got to me and I'm frightened my mum said wait till Monday see how I feel after having dealt with letter the garden block is now clear and asda are trying to sort out delivery's for those with letters and my companion dog will be back tomorrow.

She thinks I may start coping again then as believe if or not the letter and the drain being blocked really upset me.

I can cope with dc j have been for years and never had much help. Just one night of a week but that's gone now.

I can ring on Monday though and see if anything can be done. I feel a bit better having just written it down.

Glad you feel a little better. I do this you should eing on Monday, even just to touch base, because I think you could do with the support (you must be made of steel, most people would struggle to cope with just one of the things you are dealing with).

Not made of steel lol it kinda happened over the years slowly giving me chance to build up to doing all this. But their dad is useless doesn't help at all and argues with me about paying cms each month he hasn't seen kids in 4 months now.

I just miss my mum, will be happy once asda finish setting up priority register so my delivery is secured and cannot wait for my baby dog back tomorrow. I wish I could have my mum in even for five Minutes but she has a cough so I cannot break the rules.

Luckily I had the money there for the drain. And on the plus side at least I'm not struggling for money like so many people as my financial situation hasn't changed at all so that's one thing I'm not stressed over plus I'm good with money.

Had a good night sleep feeling much more positive today. However I really want my diazepam switched back to clonazepam as I found clonazepam quicker acting but not sure whether now is the right time or not.