Thread for those still working without childcare

[WhereIsTheLove1234]

Me and DH still both working. Not entitled to childcare as our roles are not on the list. I wfh, DH cannot wfh. Just to be clear I’m very very grateful for both our jobs right now. So far I’ve been able to reduce my hours but it’s getting more difficult to do. I don’t have anyone to talk to as I’m just so incredibly busy trying to work and do childcare (kids are young so it’s full on) while most couples I know have someone furloughed who can absorb the childcare and many are complaining of being bored and sharing what Netflix series to binge on. I just can’t relate at the moment. Anyone else in a similar situation? Just wanted to talk to people in a similar position.

[IndieTara]

Single parent working from home with DD and Ddog. It isn't easy but as I found out today I'm being redundant it's not forever!

[SueEllenMishke]

I've muted the class WhatsApp. The replica classrooms and hours of home learning were making me feel like shit.
I'm going for happy and healthy

[TheTurnOfTheScrew]

I have been WFH (badly) and home educating (badly) for the past fortnight, apart from one day per week in work to cover a duty rota. DH is a critical worker so still going in, except now he's in 7-5 instead of 8-4.

Like everyone else, my kids have had far too much screen time. Although i have introduced them to Adam Hart Davies documentaries on youtube so we have got some vaguely education telly in there.

But everytime I bat them away to take another call I silently thank my lucky stars that at least they're not preschoolers.

I am very tired and the house is minging. I have annual leave next week and it is desperately needed.

[LivinLaVidaLoki]

DH and I. Both in keyworker roles (not frontline) wfh. Due to the pressure of lockdown my work has increased exponentially and today DH had to go into work, my phone didn't stop ringing, I had 4 Skype meetings all while trying to set my DS home learning and various activities. By the time DH got home I had just logged off and was so shattered I wanted to cry.
A few months ago I booked the Easter holidays off as I had a lot of leave carried over. My manager asked if I wanted to cancel it as "I'm at home anyway".
I haven't. I'm spending the holidays playing in the garden and chilling out with DS. Hopefully that should recharge me a bit to get through the next half term.....

[JollyYellaHumberElla]

the first week, our works were saying to "do what we could" but now it's the new normal they expect business as usual

This is what my employer is like. All about looking after ourselves as a priority at first. Now we’re all expected to ‘park’ the kids and crack the fuck on. It’s a bloody joke.

[AnaphylacticAnnabelle]

Yep

Single parent. Demanding job that's always been based on back to back conference calls so while that's not new it's not possible with parenting home school responsibilities.

Significant mental health condition Two primary aged kids needing a lot of guidance and who fight and moan all fucking day long.

I am on my fucking knees. I'm envious of those with a partner who come home and can offer some company or conversation. I just going fucking mad (more mad than usual)

[Blueroses99]

Oh yes I can relate. DH and I trying to work full time(ish) while looking after a 3 year old who misses her grandparents /playgroups /nursery. We muddled through last week (badly) neither feeling like we were getting work done or parenting properly.

We have settled into a routine where DH starts work at 7am til midday, we have lunch and then swap over til 6 when we cook dinner and eat together, do bedtime, fall asleep exhausted and do the same again the next day. As it’s month end this week DH has had to work through afternoons/evenings so DD has had far far too much screen time and we have to endure tantrums when we turn devices off.

It’s not perfect but the structure and routine helps so we will keep tweaking it.

[AnaphylacticAnnabelle]

@IndieTara
I am sorry hear about your redundancy

[Italiandreams]

I sympathise, you are all doing amazing jobs!
We are both key workers with a toddler whose nursery has closed. Juggling shifts/ taking unpaid leave trying to keep both work places happy. It’s hard !

[cheeseandcrackers]

DH & I both WFH with preschooler and primary school DC. It's nearly impossible, incredibly stressful and I can't see how we can get through this.. poor DS is used to having someone looking after him properly all the time, how can I keep putting him off so I can take do Skype meetings and that not have a long term impact on his decelopment. Only fire fighting at work too, no time to do any real thinking. Thank goodness for being able to mute and not use video so I can occasionally play pirates while in a board meeting..

[Iggly]

I’ve found my people.

I’m so unbelievably angry with my employer about their complete and utter lack of empathy and once this is all done, I’m leaving.

Awful. Working and looking after kids is horrendous. I cannot do either.

I’m effectively being penalised for the government’s decision and made to feel guilty for letting my children having an impact on my ability to deliver my job.

[doadeer]

I only work 16 hours a week but it's a contract role with a big expectation of deliverables - as in I have to produce a lot... And there are often urgent PR pieces that I have to write at short notice. I'm lucky it's not full time but I also have a demanding family business which requires daily work. I'm tired in the evenings and my job involves a lot of writing - I just can't do it at 8pm - what I produce is rubbish that I couldn't submit.

We have a 14 month old so he can't really "play" or all these ideas for things I keep seeing on fb.

DH works about 16 hours a day. He's still working now in another room and it's 9pm. I'm so drained.

[JollyYellaHumberElla]

I’m so sorry we are all in this position. It’s hard not to feel utterly despondent and angry in turns.

[SlothTamer]

I identify so much with many of your posts.

My DH is still out at work everyday. I'm working from home, parenting our 6 and 8 year olds and feeling guilty about the amount of home learning we're doing........barely any 😩

It's literally impossible to do all these things at the same time. I just can't. And I feel like my children are getting the shitty end of the stick in this all.

[BearFoxBear]

To be honest it sounds like we're all d bloody amazing jobs! No-one is failing, maybe flailing, but there's a reason that we're not normally meant to combine simultaneous working and parenting.

[DinoGreen]

DH and I both wfh, with one DS aged 4. He demands constant attention and can’t play by himself for even 5 minutes. He’s an only so no one to play with. TV buys us 30 minutes at best. I’m a lawyer and I can’t just answer a few emails with half an eye on my laptop - I have to concentrate and study lengthy documents etc. DH’s job seems to require him to be on the phone 90% of the time so he’s not much use. I’ve been so stressed and exhausted because I’ve been working such long days trying to get half a day’s work in at best between playing with DS.

DH found out yesterday that he is being furloughed as of next week and I was so relieved I cried. I’ve been feeling so guilty that DS isn’t getting quality time and attention from us and I’m not doing a good job of my work either. If one more nursery mum shares “amazing ideas for entertaining the kids” which all involve setting up an hour long experiment or some ridiculously involved craft activity I’ll scream - I’m like what are your jobs that you can do this sort of thing with your kids while wfh??! Though maybe now DH will be grateful for the ideas ...

[Bellecurves]

Partner and I working from home full time and also looking after 18 month old. A typical day is 8am til 11pm. I'm exhausted, still behind on work, the house is a state, and I don't know how long I can do this for.

[Lookingforwardtomyeastereggs]

I'm actually getting really pissed off when I keep reading comments on here saying things like "the schools are closed, deal with it", or "you don't even want to spend time with your own children".

I have no issue looking after my dc and attempting to homeschool to the best of my ability, even stuck in the house I'll do my best with the resources I've got.

But I can't do both, my job and care for my dc properly.

My dcs schools are sending endless work for them.

The first week both the schools and my employer were saying to just do your best, dong worry, do what you can.

This week it's very much get the hell on with it.

[Bellecurves]

Can we have a clap for the single working parents? Don't know how you do it but are you bloody amazing

[MyHipsDontLieUnfortunately]

Apologies if it's been said but I think you can be furloughed if you can't work due to childcare. I think I saw that on a Martin Lewis post.

[Canyoutellilikrchocolate]

I hear you.

Two very full on City jobs, both trying to WFH with a 22 month old.

Yet I’ve still been told I should seize the opportunity to get my garden done

[MabelMoo23]

My people.

Both DH and I are WFH and it’s fucking horrendous. We have a 2 yr old and a 4 yr old who are watching far too much screen time and I feel like I’m failing them.

Neither DH or I are key workers but both high pressure jobs, but DH is more senior than me - so I’m the one having to juggle more and it’s shit.

My darling children, I’m so sorry, I really am trying my best

[Teabaseddiet]

Same here. Both wfh, one teaching online most of the day, other writing reports, on the phone whenever a client needs etc. Primary & preschool kids who are wanting our attention all the time and reacting when they don't have it. Often working into the night to get stuff done.

And half of us are extremely vulnerable so can't even go for a walk.

[Darbs76]

Mine are fortunately older but I’m working from home full time and I manage staff with young children. We have agreed that they do their best, the hours they cannot do we just credit them for. They are trying their best and that’s good enough. Some of my staff where both parents are working are home are splitting the day and doing 6hrs each. So he’s about 6hrs down a week, which we are writing off. Another down by 3hrs. We are also allowing staff to work evenings / weekends if easier. But we aren’t insisting they catch up on weekends. Things are tough. It’s hard for everyone but it’s especially hard for anyone trying to work at home with young kids. Employers absolutely must cut them some slack. If we hadn’t been told officially I was just going to tell my staff to just write down on their flexi as if they were working normally, so write it off without employer knowing. Thankfully I didn’t need to do that. I’ve been doing similar with a staff member working at home with stage 4 cancer. Big boss thinks she’s working for me but in reality she’s just reading emails. I know she appreciates it so much and it’s the right thing to do. As ultimately I’m the only person inconvenienced as she is meant to help me and she isn’t. She’s so sick right now and won’t live beyond this year. I just want to offer her some kindness at this hard time. Same for my parents who are working. As a parent myself I remember all too well how hard young children are

[10storeylovesong]

@divebar thank you so much. You've just made fill up.

My DS was quite far behind at the beginning of the year and it affected his confidence. His school has worked so hard to improve it and he had almost caught up when the school closed. I really dont want him to fall behind again and his confidence knocked back to square 1!!