Struggling today - pull me together

[istheresomethingwrongwithme]

I have nothing to complain about, compared to many. SAHM to DS's aged 1 and 2.5. DH is working from home. We have a garden and a place to exercise each day. We're all fit and well.

Trying to stick to some sort of a routine, getting up, getting dressed, exercise daily, proper meals etc. It just all seems so pointless at the moment. We have weeks and weeks of this ahead, and then months or years before things get back to anything like normal.

We had so many plans for this year. We'd found a house to buy after years of looking, now we don't know whether to go ahead or not. Eldest DS was supposed to start speech therapy, now that's all out the window. My DS has always been a bit behind but we had put lots of things in place to help him, now that's all on hold. Even when we have some resemblance of normal, we'll probably get a second wave of coronavirus and be back under restrictions again.

I'm trying to get back in to running and loose some weight to feel like I'm doing something productive during this time. Every day I start well, going for my run and eating healthily, then I get halfway through the day and give up, because what's the point.

I'm just feeling really sorry for myself. Is anyone else feeling this way? What are you doing to counteract it? I need to pull myself together for myself and DSs. I need to stop parking them in front of the telly and do more with them. I need to stop turning to junk food in the afternoon because I'm bored and have no willpower. Finding it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm so sorry to sound like such a drip. I know I should be counting my blessings, but all I can see is the weeks of this stretching out ahead of me and I can't seem to snap out of it.

I feel like this too. Just what's the fucking point. (Obviously I know what the point is, I just can't see past it at the moment)

I'm going to work every day (hospital) and I hate it. Everything is just so scary and unknown and no light at the end of the tunnel. I can't see the end at work. We'll be battling corona until there is no corona...

No advice but a firm handhold of solidarity here.

Sorry to hear you’re struggling and no you don’t sound like a drip, you sound perfectly normal to me in light of what is happening.

I try not to think ahead too much, just try to take each day as it comes and just to break the day down into small bits. Looking ahead and seeing one long stretch is so damaging, I do it far too often but am learning not to.

I’m like you in that I run / exercise in the morning and feel all enthusiastic for the day ahead and by 1pm I start to lag. Coffee helps me sometimes 😊

Don’t be too hard on yourself though, try not to feel guilty about parking them in front of the TV. You need a break and these aren’t normal times we’re in, so try and ease off on the guilt.

Don’t think I’ve been much help but just wanted to say you’re not alone in how you feel, just remember to give yourself a break (mentally).

Same here it’s all so boring and pointless we are always out and about and doing fun stuff, loads of holidays and mini breaks and time with family and friends all over the country and now there is just nothing to look forward to. DH has lost his income completely and there are no jobs at all that he can do available so I m sat at the computer 14 hours a day making not much more than minimum wage doing boring menial tasks just to try and keep us afloat. My regular job (self employed) means I m out and about all day doing loads of interesting stuff and really making a difference, I teach vocational quals in adult social care and obviously that’s non essential at the minute so all my face to face stuff has stopped.
My car won’t start so I can’t go anywhere and our council have shut all our country parks and nice spaces so there is nothing to do, tramping around a housing estate has zero appeal.
I understand why we are doing this and I am of course grateful we are safe and well but it doesn’t make it any less of a horrible, boring, depressing time.

((Hug))

The thing is -you ARE in a fortunate position compared to many & you are exceptionally lucky not to be scared for your self or your DH (parents or whatever. Frankly I’d live to be you.

However, YOU feel, how YOU feel and sometimes knowing you’re incredibly lucky still isn’t enough.

You need to think about what WOULD help

For example, there are lots if people online offering SLT & teaching. So you could still get DS the help he needs.

You could think that this period of time might drag by niw, but actually, out of a lifetime it’s really not much time and it is a fantastic opportunity to spend quality time together as a family - try to have some fun - BBQ/Picnic. Games in the garden, sleeping under the stars when it gets a bit warmer.

Try to just relax more with the kids and learn more about who they are without the constant ‘have to’s’ we are usually faced with.

No, it’s not a holiday & scary things are happening, but you being miserable isn’t going to change that, so try to make your bubble as nice as it can be 🌷💕

sure there will be more houses on the market after this & there will be more of the houses that were previously unaffordable now affordable

I’m not trying to turn you into Pollyanna - I just wish at times in my life I had realised what I did have, while I had it.

& don’t forget to have some time to yourself too & DH as well. Be a Good Team & take care if each other 💕

Thank you for replying. @headispounding I can't imagine having to go to work in a hospital right now and I take my hat off to you. You must be so frightened.

I'm being careful with watching the news. I try to limit it to once a day. So many people have died already, and probably loads more than are being reported on the news. But that's not the half of it, so many more people are poorly or are going to get poorly and die.

I know we have to do this. It's so important to help each other, the NHS, everyone. We need to think ahead to this time next year and just write off twelve months. I need to work out a way of dealing with this one day at a time as has been suggested. My eldest DS is bored stiff. I've relaxed screen time but he's even getting fed up of that now. Maybe I'll start writing a bit of a plan for each day when I get up in the morning. It might give us some more structure.

Maybe those of us who feel like this could use this thread to help us take one day at a time.

Good advice @AmelieTaylor, thank you. Everything you're saying is true, I just need to get it into practice in my day to day life.

I know what you mean about looking back on times during your life and thinking how lucky you were and wondering why you didn't realise it at the time. I'm guilty of 'grass is greener' I think.

OP, I hear you.

It's crap.

I am stuck at home with teengers who should be doing GCSE and A level. They had been planning holidays with friends and various other things. Plus proms, leavers' ceremonies, etc, etc, etc, etc.

The younger one had just got a job in a cafe, and the older one had some freelance work lined up.

Now they are stuck here with me, unable to see friends (they don't go to school locally, so can't just go for a walk with friends within the guidelines).

As for me: I have no income and no reason to get up, really.

It's horrendous.

It won't be years OP. Months maybe, but not years. I keep telling myself that it won't last forever and one day it will all be over.

This is a good article for me on this. I think that for those of us who are really lucky not to have lost jobs, be sick or be front line workers, we are putting pressure on ourselves to do something amazing with this time but if you are not in the right place for that, you just end up feeling worse

elladawson.com/2020/03/22/these-are-not-conditions-in-which-to-thrive/

I can’t help with the house but I think I can with the others.

Have you tried the Joe Wicks PE lessons? They’re really good!

Perhaps more importantly, I’m a Portage Home Visitor who works with children who are under 3 who have a delay in their development. If you tell me a bit about your DS (PM me if you like) I’m happy to send you some advice and resources (not today, I’ve already had a half a cider which is enough for me 😂 but I’ll have a look over the weekend and get back to you) I’ve been putting together some packs for my families anyway and I work closely with speech and language therapists.

I completely hear you OP. I get up everyday and start counting down the minutes until it’s time to go back to bed. If I didn’t have the DC I’m not sure I’d get up at all.

I don’t want to live this life. I know why it’s happening and I understand there is no alternative but everyday is a huge mental struggle. I am generally a really upbeat and positive person. This has had a massive negative impact on my mental health.

I don’t have any advice but you’re not alone in how you feel.

I don’t want to live this life. I know why it’s happening and I understand there is no alternative but everyday is a huge mental struggle. I am generally a really upbeat and positive person. This has had a massive negative impact on my mental health

Sunshine, that's me too. I am monstrously depressed. Today is the worst yet.

@CoronaIsComing that would be amazing, thank you so much. I will PM you, that's really kind and very much appreciated.

We have been doing the Joe Wicks PE lesson and agree they're good and he is very uplifting.

@Applejaxx when I refer to it going on for years, I mean the economic effects after this. I just can't imagine a time when we're not talking about coronavirus in one way or another.

@cantata you sound similar to my sister. She has twin DDs who were supposed to do their GCSEs this year. They have worked hard consistently so are not worried about their grades, but they are disappointed that their entire school career has ended like this. They are very mature and know that there are bigger things to worry about, but we all loose out in one way or another I think and there will always be someone worse off.

Struggling today too. Dp has fucked off to our other house 'to clean and sort for my parents moving in' . Hes been away since before 9. Hes left me yet againwith 4 dc to sort. 3 of which are under 2
When he comes in he will probs train in garage gym.
Its the same everyday. Him insisting he has sooo much online work to do and needing time to himself. Im not getting a break at all.
Im going on strike once they are in bed. Dp will stay out til after dd goes to bed cos otherwise she screams the house down if daddys home.
I cant do this for weeks on end. I cried today at spilling gravy powder after it fell out of cupboard i opened.
Is it too early for wine??

I get up everyday and start counting down the minutes until it’s time to go back to bed.

@Sunshinegirl82 you've hit the nail on the head.

@Crackerofdoom that's a great article, thank you. I'd urge everyone who's come on to say they're struggling to read it.

@istheresomethingwrongwithme no problem at all PM me with what he can do now and I’ll put some resources together 😊.

@CoronaIsComing great, will do it sometime later today when I get on the laptop (don't think I can PM from the app).