How the heck do I get groceries to my parents?

[Blurpblorp]

They live 100 miles away from me. Both in mid- seventies, Dad had (has?) cancer and mum has diabetes and has always had a weak respiratory system (whenever she gets any kind of cough or cold it hits her hard). They're not registered for any online supermarket shopping and Sainsbury's aren't accepting new registrations. I've tried to call their helpline but even that says try back later. All Asda and Tesco's delivery and even click and collect slots in their area are booked up for the foreseeable future. I'm considering doing a big shop and driving up there just to drop it off at their door but scared in case I infect them. Also am I likely to be challenged by the Police as to why I'm driving?

They don't quite qualify for the GOV.UK vulnerable people category which means Sainsbury's would prioritise them (and anyway they're not even registered there).

There is perhaps someone nearby that I can ask to pop some essentials round but I know my parents would get annoyed with me doing this... What can I do? Any tips at all? They're quite cavallier about it and I'm scared they'll venture into a busy supermarket and catch it.

OP you say your parents will be annoyed if you ask the local person

What is their plan? If they would rather go to a supermarket, they’re adults, they can make that choice.

I agree Lilac, if they want it on their terms then they have to do the work, if they want OP to do the work for them it'll be on OP's terms.
a third option ....if they want it done on their terms by someone else then they could pay someone?

Taxi drivers in my area are doing it but I don’t know how they charge fir time waiting outside and then time round the supermarket.

Their local church, temple etc will have volunteers.

Their local village or town may have a resilience group. Search Facebook, you should find a number on the group page.

I have sent some Parsley Box meals to my elderly parents who are too far away. That plus a local new veg box scheme found by searching Facebook groups near their home and an M&S box next week means they just need to ask neighbours to get bread and milk which they are ok about asking for. Luckily they were reasonably well stocked before but I’m not sure how long they can manage.

Another shout for amazon here - they realise new amazon fresh slots at midnight. You can sign up as a member and get all your items in your basket ready then just select your slot at midnight. I did it at midnight on Saturday and was delivered 9am Monday morn

I went to do an Iceland delivery order but their website says they are specifically delivering only to the old and vulnerable. You might be able to do an Iceland order for your parents with less of a wait time than the supermarkets delivering to everyone.

There's Facebook groups in my area, Association of Volunteers have set up Community support pathways too, try farm shops that are local to them, a lot of restairants/cafés have set up delivery services too.

I was worried about my mum but she gets milk delivered and the milk man always did cream and eggs but veg boxes have been included.
She has found restaurants/shops doing ready meals,so is trying those.The butchers only does large orders but has put her small order on a list and it will be delivered when they go to a near neighbour.
She also swallowed her pride and phoned people who put a leaflet through her door,a young couple a few doors down who are happy to get her anything else she needs.
Luckily my mum is an 82 year old computer
addict so when I told her what was going on in my area she investigated and is now relaxed about food(she has COPD and heart failure but although registered as vunerable has had her supermarket slot closed).

I'm having the same problem with my 83 year old mother with COPD.

Just cannot get a slot and I'm losing patience with her 'not wanting to bother the neighbours' and 'ooh, not going to use the local Costcutter' who are doing deliveries specially as they're pricier than Asda', and 'oooh, can't have someone I don't know from some Facebook group knowing my business' etc etc etc.

I get that her life hasn't changed much and that she doesn't realise how much mine has. I get that she wants to choose exactly what brands etc she wants. I get that there's much in her life that she can't control.

But I am not a miracle worker and I'm so FUCKING TIRED of having the same conversation with her.

I think I will text her tomorrow setting out her options and refuse to have anymore phone conversations about it until she's made a decision.

If you have an online delivery account then you can add their address as a delivery address and try and get a slot.

Get them a Morrison's box. It cost £30 and £5 delivery. You get set items. Milk, bread, butter, ham, bacon, sausages, chicken or mince, pasta pasta sauce, rice, peppers, onions, carrots, broccoli, baked beans, veg soup, tomato soup, Cathedral City cheese, potatoes, kitchen rolls, toilet rolls. I might have forgotten an odd item but Inthinknthat is it. They also do vegetarian box. You can't pick what you get but okmifbthey sre running out of food. It would keepnthem going for a few days.

I was just going to suggest a Morrisons box as have seen them advertised for this very reason. I would also download the Tesco app and try to get a delivery or click and collect for them, if you check regularly click and collect slots are becoming available. I'm sure someone in the community would then collect it for them and leave it at their doorstep or you could make a one off trip - counted as essential as you are going to help someone.

There’s no availability on the boxes either

I share your pain! I've checked every supermarket every day this week to try and get mine something for future weeks. Sounds like I need to stay up later though! I managed to get them a click and collect for this week and maxed out the item limit. Luckily they've got a decent sized freezer and they've sorted out milk deliveries, but you can't really buy fresh fruit and veg for more than a week ahead. I've got a few leads on local deliveries from a Facebook group and sent them on in the hope they might finally work out how to use Google but I'm not hopeful!

This crisis has taught me that if I’m lucky enough to get old I’m going to do my damnedest to keep up with technology. It’s taking me ages to source groceries for my family that they could really do quite well themselves if they had not chosen to do the “oh, it’s all beyond me!” thing. Plus I’m having to pay for it all just now as they don’t do internet banking!

Before anyone says, they are intelligent band financially well off with their own iPads, etc. It’s been a choice over the years.

I’m also not going to be difficult about who helps: like the OP I’ll be in trouble if I ask a local volunteer to shop.. 🙄

Those who are frustrated with their parents for not wanting to use local volunteer groups should consider the following:

The people in these groups have not been vetted, they have no specific training. The system is ripe for abuse by criminals and con artists. We’re already seeing instances of criminals tricking their way into the homes of the elderly and vulnerable.

Maybe suggest systems via established charities like Age UK or the Red Cross, who do CRB checks on their volunteers and give them proper training; that may make them feel more comfortable?

Look up local farms shops , one near me is allowing ordering my email and a taxi company is delivering.

@Dyrne that would be even more unacceptable!!

I see what you’re saying, but taking a risk in a small place at least gets them fed. I got a lovely woman to shop for one set and she shopped then I paid her into her bank. My dad won’t have anything like that though as he won’t accept anything that makes him seem old..he’s 90 and frail.

I also think the big organisations are inundated. It should hopefully get better if delivery slots become available

Mascotte fair enough.

I guess all you can do is keep searching for local butchers/greengrocers that can deliver.

Or maybe you can find a volunteer that is willing to wear a homemade Ocado uniform so you can pretend it’s a Delivery?

😂😂 @Dyrne top idea!

My mum has had a delivery from a local farm shop place.

We've used "Beelivery" website to get a few essentials delivered. Essentially it was a driver sent to buy the shopping list you select online at a local store. Not especially cost effective, but we just used for milk, bread, fruit and veg.

Thank you everyone SO MUCH. Really appreciate your hugely helpful advice. I might ask MN to pin this or at least highlight the range of options that you've all come up with here as so many of us must be in the same boat.

Oh, I’ve just found a thing called the Snappy Shopper app. If there’s one in their area they deliver same day from local convenience stores! Not a great choice, but basics available. Some stores are not available all day on the app.

Iceland have some reserved slots for people who are self-isolating, vulnerable etc.

I just got one, called my mum and she decided that she doesn't need anything at the moment.

She can ask her next door neighbours who are happy to help.