Hi everyone
I have a just turned 4 year old girl and a 6 year old boy with no SEN. Like most people we are NOT used to spending more than a few hours per day together. My DH and I both work, the 4 year old was in full time nursery and the 6 year old at school with a few after school clubs thrown in. By the time we all arrived home it’d be a quick dinner before bath time, stories and homework for my 6 year old (me supervising a reading book and possibly going over some tricky words- that’s it) Then bedtime. The kids and we were so busy they didn’t have time to interact t too much in the weekdays. Even weekends were taken up by their own sports and own play dates.
But In the mornings they would fight after breakfast and then in the car. Not EVERY morning but most mornings until I got to the stage where I started separating them for breakfast! One in one room one in the kitchen with their cereal! We did this for a couple of weeks, it worked well then lock down came. Hit us like a ton of breaks.
My DH is still working from home and is in his home office from 8-6pm, trying to keep our business going even though it’s rapidly going down hill. I cannot work from home so I’m in charge of the kids, cleaning and their education while at home.
They are up at 6.30am. And they are in bed by 7pm so I shouldn’t complain in that respect but I’m slowly losing my mind. They fight constantly. The first few days (okay 2 days) of lockdown was a bit of a novelty for them and they almost ‘stuck together’ as it was all so uncertain for them and exciting! Now we are 10 days in and oh how the atmosphere has changed.
The 4 year old girl is behaving in a spoilt bratty way, always yelling, shouting, screaming for her iPad .... ‘i said I want my iPad now!!!!!’ She annoys her brother, snatches his toys, grabs his things. He’s very into his Lego and cherishes it and spends a long time building it with the highest concentration! She doesnt care about that of course. I have told him to put his special bits in his room but all the little ones he’s working on in our family kitchen she grabs and just in general tries to annoy him. He tolerates it for a while before he snaps and pushes her away, or yells back at her and eventually a massive crying meltdown follows with him being sent to his room to calm down. Just this morning she threw a 45 min fit on the floor about the iPad, I said she could have it after lunch but our routine is in the mornings we do some name writing practise, some colouring in, some puzzles. iPad time is after lunch. I was trying to do homework with my son (we are still playing catch up with last weeks work!) but how can he concentrate with her screaming the house down. I told her off, I shouted, I attempted a pathetic attempt at a time out on the naughty step where she just ran away from me ... before finally screaming at her to shut up. Not proud of myself but it worked. This is all day though. I tell them to go play outside and make sure they are all warm, fed and happy before going out.
I tell them I need 30 min to myself to finally make myself lunch, clear up and eat. Within 10 min they are back saying it’s too cold/ boring in the garden and can they come in to watch a movie/ go on iPad.
They have plenty of things to do in the garden and I make suggestions. They are all scoffed at. They will play on trampoline but again 5 min and they are bored. My son will play football for a lot longer but his sister just gives up after 5 min and I desperately need that time they are outside to just .... breathe. And eat.
It doesn’t help that both my DH and I are not feeling well. We both have bad cold symptoms and slight annoying coughs. We are worrying for our business, finances , elderly parents on both sides, having enough food in all the time, our own health.
I FaceTimed my mum yesterday who gave me a very angry talking to about my daughter- my mum unfortunately witnessed more of her antics while speaking with me, ending up in my daughter hitting me. My mum said she needs some proper discipline. She’s right of course. I just feel so tired, so drained, flu-y and just cannot deal with their behaviour when it’s so full on in my face for 12 hours per day plus. My daughter went through the terrible 3s badly, lots of tantrums but In the last few months they all stopped and she was doing so much better. Now we are back to square 1 of when her tantrums, crying and diva behaviour were at their very worst!
For anyone with live wire loud kids how are you managing with lock down? We are generally doing such a bad job.
I also need time during those 13 hours that I have them to myself, to cook, clean (Dettol the house from head to toe) , shower and eat myself but they are just so demanding unless I give in to the iPads their behaviour is just awful.