Rules on shopping frequency - there are none!

[swishthecat]

There is so much misinformation being spread on MN about how often you can go to the shops. I think it is worth drawing people's attention to the fact that Downing Street has clarified that there are no specific limits. People are just expected to be sensible and go as infrequently as they can.

www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/31/no-10-slaps-down-shapps-over-shop-once-a-week-comment-coronavirus

There is always someone who will think your own decisions are wrong - to scrutinise others is to invite scrutiny yourself and it is a certainty of life that you won't pass that test. No one can.

That's the truth. I've started to lose count of the was people have been scolded across mn recently. The "selfish" include:

• people who shop too often
• people who shop less often and stockpile
• people who go to the shop at all when there are deliveries available
• people who use the delivery slots when they are capable of going to a shop

It's like some terrible version of a childhood riddle to work out the mn-approved and stamped "right" thing to do that doesn't get you a slap on the wrists.

@hearhovesthinkzebras

Of course if it was the law I wouldn't go every day, but it isn't.

I always employ social distancing, wear gloves and a mask, use spray on the trolley and anti bac gel, and go through the self service to minimise human interaction.

With no car, a young toddler and the nearest shop a mile away, I don't fancy carrying home a weeks worth of shopping.

I agree @LolaSmiles the point I was making was the post that said I've been told to only go once a fortnight which simply isn't true . I don't have a hard and fast rule I'm trying to shop once a week or less if possible but if I have to go again after 5 days then so be it . It's not selfish in the same way of someone has to go every 2 days but it is selfish if you make multiple trips like you did before lockdown .
The calling for a chocolate bar every day , to get something for tea etc . Just go less frequently than you did before and try and get enough to last you so you don't need to make multiple trips .

@hearhoovesthinkzebras

Clearly I'm incapable of tagging correctly!

People interpret rules differently. The limits on the amount people can buy will also cause more frequent shopping.

Tobacco isn't essential to me but is to others.

If I have ran out of ingredients I need I can quite often sub for other bits I have or change up a recipe. Other people can't cook so well and are reliant on jarred sauces etc.

People should just do what is right for them. You need a daily diet coke and magazine? Go for it. The real issue is that the government acted too late and now we are all behaving terribly towards each other instead of directing our anger where it is deserved.

It's like some terrible version of a childhood riddle to work out the mn-approved and stamped "right" thing to do that doesn't get you a slap on the wrists.
I came to the conclusion that as I'm shopping as little as possible and always tend to keep a well stocked dry goods cupboard and still manage to eat well/have nice things, I don't really care if I tick the MN approved boxes.

I think most of us are doing that, which is why we've not needed to start threads seeking validation for selfish actions because we can say honestly that we have shopped when we needed to and have chosen to adapt out lifestyles to follow the guidance.

Even without the pandemic, AIBU is 80% full of people who are definitely unreasonable but want validation for their selfishness or unreasonable behaviour. Many coronavirus guidance threads are no different.

Ahundredpercentthatbitch

I get your frustration. DD gets KS1 FSM around 2-3 times a week. She goes to my parents after school until around 6 so would eat her dinner there and would have a couple of sleepovers at their house during the week as well so they gave her breakfast. DH used to take or buy his lunch but I almost never ate lunch at work and I rarely ate breakfast. I’m a teacher so I can’t just stop when I’m hungry and I found it better to not start eating to avoid the insatiable hunger.

Now we’re all at home, it’s 21 meals a week. Normally it would be far less than that. Luckily, we can afford it but I’m starting to lose interest in the food I can cook.

*21 meals a week per person

Pentium why can't you shop for 2-3 days though? Even buying enough for 2 days would reduce the risks by half.
I've always shopped everyday because I don't drive, I've managed to reduce it to once every 4 days now, that's enough for me and my daughter. That includes things like cans of coke that my (autistic) daughter really 'needs'. Ok, not essential, but things like that control her behaviour.

Yeah, i feel a bit judgey about shopping every single day tbh. Surely you can go every two days?

@PrivateD00r you can put milk in plastic containers straight in the freezer. Of course, you may get your milk in bottles, but if it's in plastic there's no need to decant it into ice trays.

Beingatwat Yes they get KS1 free lunches. I know what you mean about cooking! I'm so, so sick of thinking about food and what to cook, it feels endless.

I see so a mumsnetter not actually official advice

Yes several mumsnetters. Which is what i said in my post, that you asked a questions about.

'Some posters on MN are definitely trying to inflict their own rules.'

I never claimed it was official advice.

@Ahundredpercentthatbitch

If I have to make another cheese and salad sandwich, I’m going to throw myself out of the window!

Then just shop when you need not when a mumsnetter thinks .

I'm shopping 2-3 times per week (no car). Also picking up wine and chocolate with my other essentials. Yummy!

Then just shop when you need not when a mumsnetter thinks

I am doing. Where did I say I wasnt.

Not sure what you think I posted. People were saying that what posters have said about mners making up rules and expected others to abide by them, or just making up rules and saying they are fact, isnt something they have seen.

I am saying it is. I have seen it and experienced it.

But, fuck, no. I would not be doing what an mner has decided is the rules and the minimum standard. In fact o went shopping the other night. Bought quite a few treats and hair dye. Despite someone here saying they werent essentials and I am killing people by being out that extra 10 seconds.

It's also happening on this thread. Like the person saying shopping infrequently as possible, means to ensure survival. No it doesnt. But they are stating it as fact.

This is happening all over mn. Op is simply pointing out that, that its a load of bollocks. Yes, we should go out infrequently. But theres no official limit on that or essentials list.

People should just do what is right for them. You need a daily diet coke and magazine? Go for it. The real issue is that the government acted too late

No people shouldn't just go for it and do what's right for them because the effects of their actions don't just affect them. What about the elderly person, or the assistant that they infected in the supermarket? Or the Dr that dies after becoming infected while intubating them? Don't they matter? Or the person who died after having a heart attack because there was no ITU bed available because " do what. you want, just go for it" had taken the last bed?

If the only person affected was the individual who acts selfishly then sure, go for it, get your Darwin award but that isn't the case here. Acting selfishly is going to affect many other people. Even if you don't infect anyone else you are going to force the government into implementing a strict lockdown and so many on here are saying they are depending on daily exercise in order to maintain their mental health. You're jeopardising the last remaining freedoms that we do have by, as Lola said acting like a toddler with a law degree

Bought quite a few treats and hair dye. Despite someone here saying they werent essentials and I am killing people by being out that extra 10 seconds

You're not killing people by being out an extra ten seconds. Buying some treats with your groceries doesn't seem unreasonable. Making a special trip just to get treats and hair dye does.

Even with social distancing, every social interaction outside your home risks spreading the virus - either you passing it on or contracting it. If we reduce shopping from 7 times a week to 1 time a week, that's 1/7 of the risk.

I am really concerned that mixed messages about what is and isn't OK will make people relax about shopping, driving to exercise etc. Then the huge sacrifice so many of us are making by closing businesses, schools etc. become diluted because people are still having social contact and spreading the virus.

If we're doing lock down, let's do it properly and get it over. Half arsed measures will just drag it out longer.

@tonyaster @feelingverylazytoday

Honestly, because I want to, and there are no rules telling me not to.

Judge away all you wish, no one is perfect.

If going for my one walk and popping into the shops is my biggest crime, I think I'm doing ok.

@tonyaster @feelingverylazytoday

And I am shopping for 6 people, that's a lot of food to carry. None of the other people in the household have the time to shop as all are key workers

You're not killing people by being out an extra ten seconds. Buying some treats with your groceries doesn't seem unreasonable. Making a special trip just to get treats and hair dye does.

I know it doesnt.

But people on mn have and are still saying that by buying anything that nots essential, even as part of a bigger shop, then you are killing people, will be responsible if a further lockdown happens and that the official guidlines say you shouldnt be purchasing these items.

It was clearly clarified, on the thread, we were talking about buying things during a larger shop. One of them berated the OP for putting hot cross buns in their trolley.

It's insane and some people are trying to make out their opinions are in the rules.

But as was said on the other thread, one person buying hair dye in their weekly shop isn't a problem.

Lots of shoppers going to do their weekly, or daily shop, and then mooching around a superstore as they normally would, having a browse to see what takes their fancy be that hair dye, make up, scatter cushions, hot cross buns or bottle of gin does put people's lives at risk - it risks the employees, the other shoppers and it also makes queues outside longer and means that some vulnerable shoppers can't go shopping because they can't queue up for over an hour just to get into the shop while Sharon, Tracey, Tom, Dick and Harry have a stroll around.

I work in a superstore where we have ANPR that issues fines if you stay for longer than three hours. The number of customers who contest fines because they were in store for three plus hours is ridiculous. I see people coming in to store when I see work, who are just going through checkout when I go to break three hours later. All they've been doing is mooching. If they do that now you cannot deny that is going to put people at risk

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras are you joking?

You and other on that thread were moaning about the 10 seconds people would take to choose hair dye/hot cross buns etc. Saying that it delays everyone else.

That's you should be going in for essentials only and straight out. Except you couldnt provide an essentials list. No one talked about doing 3 hours of browsing. Not one even mentioned it.

I'm talking about the three hours now, on this thread.

I am talking about it in the context of, as I just said, one person grabbing a hair dye and taking ten seconds isn't a problem. Every customer in the shop taking ten seconds to grab an extra non essential item probably becomes a problem over the day and many customers don't shop like that. Many will get distracted on the way to the hair dye aisle and will start perusing the China section, the bedding, the CDs and films, then at the hair dye aisle will wander up and down weighing up which of the many they will choose.

So that's my point. You going in, walking directly to that aisle, picking up hair dye immediately probably won't make any difference but then if you are allowed to do it why can't everyone else? You want hair dye, someone else wants clothing, which is upstairs in my store. That adds on another however long. Someone else expects to try clothing on, or try shoes on. Is that allowed too? If not why not and where do you draw the line? Or are you not drawing the line anywhere?

After all, if you should be allowed to buy what you want, then why shouldn't anyone else? Why shouldn't someone spend three hours in there if they want to? On what grounds should they be stopped or do you think it should be allowed?