Am I doing the right thing re contact during lockdown?

[Missmonkeypenny]

Just wanting some reassurance that i am doing the right thing re DDs (5) contact or lack of during lockdown.

I am at home on mat leave with DS (13 weeks) so no issues with childcare which I am grateful for if not going slightly insane but that's a different story. DD usually goes to ex DPs one night week 1 and two nights week 2. Before lockdown came in, he had a cough which started 4 days after she'd last seen him so he and his wife had to isolate and she didn't go to see them then.

Then lockdown came in and it was decided between us that she would remain at home with me as both he and his wife are key workers. For context, my DH is a paramedic - while this comes with risks in itself, I felt like her staying in one place and not being around even more expose would be the best course of action, as well as minimising the risk of any potential virus being spread between more people than necessary. I'm also conscious of minimising any risk to DS. He asked if he could come over to see her at the weekend which I declined as I felt it defeated the purpose of her being in one place which exDP was sad about but didn't press the matter. Cue facetime between them the other night and DD getting very upset that she hasnt seen him and now I'm feeling like an awful parent for not letting her see her dad.

Am I doing the right thing? Its a minefield

I know coparents that have decided mutually to keep their child in one home and postpone any visits even though both households are totally isolating. Your Ex is a bloomin paramedic. It must be hard to watch your daughter get upset but this will pass. I won’t contemplate it at all or feel guilty for it.

I mean I wouldn’t contemplate it

My son is having contact with his dad as normal.
Personally i would find it pretty essential to see my child and my ex feels the same as i expected.
We are both single and furloughed or wfh so only going out for essential shop.
Seems like low risk for us as a family and the low risk is mitigated by the mental health gains for all of us.
Your family is different and faces different risk factors.
Work from the basis of parent child relationship being essential. If contact can reasonably and safely go ahead then it should do.

Muted its my husband who is the paramedic. ExDP is a MH nurse about to be redeployed to front line and his wife also works in the hospital

Blubell I hear you. If they WFH or in a different work environment then I would be asking them to have her to stay to minimise her risk. Luckily we have a very amicable relationship to there's not currently any cross words between us.