coronavirus and my maternity

[wellington77]

My reason for this post is to see if I am alone in thinking this and if not how are people coping? I have a 12 week old baby girl and I feel the coronavirus has taken away my maternity from me, all the plans I had- such as baby swimming, baby sensory, baby massage, seeing grandparents every week have gone out the window. Now I know I am extremely lucky, my daughter is happy and healthy and so is my family, but I can't help feeling cheated, that I'm missing out on things other mums have enjoyed. Does anyone else feel like this? How have you coped? What can I say to myself to cheer the hell up?! Again I know I'm very lucky and should be grateful I even have a lovely daughter, but I can't help feeling like this, It doesnt help I suppose that my husband is still going to work, so I don't see him till 6pm every day , I feel really alone and isolated, I'm really missing human contact other than my husband, I'm worried about my mental health, as I have bi polar too. Sorry I'm rambling! I just wanted to put my thoughts out there to get it off my chest. Thank you x

Away maternity leave and being a new mum is a wonderful time but it's also incredibly hard to.

And you've got CV on top of everything else.

What you are feeling is perfectly normal. You have looked forward to your time and its essentially been snatched away from you.

Are there many local groups you can join on social Media. I know it's not the same but it may help you day to day. I am part of a local FB group that incredibly supportive.

It's not going to be any of us, and I think we are all feeling a little sorry for ourselves.

Mines is the fact that I am trying to homeschool and work. But I also grateful that they are a little older and understand more.

Just take care, look after yourself and feel free to moan.

It's not fair that you do not get to enjoy your maternity leave. None of this is fair, and we just need to get through it I'm afraid.

But there is nothing wrong with having a good greet too.

And my typos are terrible!!

Hi OP, congrats on your baby girl! I have a five month old and I feel the same as you, as do other girls I know. I may also be forced to cut maternity leave short due to to lack of money. I feel we have been forgotten about, overlooked both financially and in terms of care. I’m sure this is probably the case for many groups of people at the moment though.
You don’t say if you’re a first time mum but regardless, looking after a new baby is obviously very stressful, anxious and isolating at the best of times.. but with corona on top it’s becoming unbearable (for me anyway). Where I am, GPs are closed to routine appointments. I feel very down about everything, worried constantly & struggling to cope, but I wouldn’t want to burden the nhs with anything else right now so I don’t feel I can reach out for help. Whereas normally new mums would have lots of support (in my area anyway) for PND.
It’s really hard not having any form of break or support during the day but I’m trying to look at it from point of view I can enjoy lots of quality time with my LO, bonding and chilling out. Health is what matters in the long run.
We can look back one day and be proud of ourselves that we got through this, mums really are superheros.

And if we have any more kids it’ll be a breeze next time
I probably haven’t helped much here sorry I just wanted to say you’re not alone and thanks for posting as I was feeling the same tonight.

I feel the same way- although my baby's not here yet. Due to arrive in the peak, be born into this and then be isolated during first few weeks. I sometimes feel the best part of my pregnancy has been taken away. But there's nothing we can do except manage the way we think about it. So, positive upsides- more bonding time with baby, less pressure to get dressed and look put together, good excuse to say no to unwanted visitors... !

Thank you all so much for all your kind words. I feel better just knowing it’s not just me who feels like this. I’m a first time mum so maybe that plays a part in it as you build up this picture from when your very young what motherhood will be like in the first few months. Good advice everyone thank you xx

Congrats on your little one. I'm also a FTM and my little girl is 3 weeks old but my maternity started early feb.
I feel the same however holding on to the hope that there should still be time whilst I'm off on maternity when things should be a bit more back to normal. I'm struggling being stuck indoors already having been stuck inside in front of the TV since Feb, although still in C section recovery so wouldn't have been going far, but knowing I have no choice is messing with me mentally.

Im also trying to look at the same positives mentioned by @FUCorona So, positive upsides- more bonding time with baby, less pressure to get dressed and look put together, good excuse to say no to unwanted visitors
I've not had chance yet as can't walk far yet, but make sure you're getting chance to get your exercise in and take baby (if possible to do safely) for some walks, fresh air can do a lot of good instead of being stuck indoors.

We can get through this, it's cr@p but we have to

It is crap and you're allowed to feel sad. Just remember when all this is over you'll still have a very young child to do toddler groups etc with.

I'm making a scrapbook photo album of stuff we did during Covid 19! Maybe you could do the same? Document all the snuggles, having a bath together, sensory activities etc.

But don't feel guilty, it's a scary time.

I feel the same way, I have a 8 week old baby girl and am sad that my maternity leave isn’t how I’d planned. I was due to start baby sensory and massage classes after Easter which obviously aren’t happening and probably won’t get a chance even if they start again later on in the year. Was just looking forward to taking baby out and socialising as it gets lonely being home all day with baby. Also sad I can’t see my mum who is a big support. Not much we can do but I suppose all new mums are in the same boat at the moment.

A lot of people are feeling like that at the moment. Its hard not to, I'm especially sad as i booked a few weeks holiday to use with DC1 before DC2 arrives and was planning to do all sorts.

But on the opposite side i am grateful for the maternity leave we get compared to the US. I'm glad to have some time getting used to our new arrival pre everyone else coming to say hi. Its not what i wanted but im trying to see the positives

On the flip side of the coin, I'm so relieved that being on maternity leave means I can just focus on the kids right now. Otherwise I'd be trying to juggle working from home with caring for small children, and as tough as it is not being able to go baby groups, etc to pass the time, I think that would be way tougher!

Ds2 is 2weeks old, has literally met two family members prelockdown. This time round I’m glad I won’t have a houseful of “me next let me hold him!” At any point. Yes it’s nice they want a cuddle but it’s not fun when you’re sat on a rubber ring counting down the minutes to the next pain killer or nap.

A lot of baby groups are doing “online classes” here, either live on Facebook or on YouTube so you can still do baby massage with them. Although to be fair we done it all.. besides swimming.. with ds1 and I don’t think he was ever buzzing to get to baby group until he was old enough for a baby walker and savaging the ankles of the ladies at toddlers. Seriously sensory usually turned into the screaming room, one starts they all go.

Make what you can of the madness, they won’t remember not going to all the groups.. I’m not even sure if they know they’re at them either.