Solidarity thread- those with young children (only children in particular) during isolation.

[jdisos]

I'm assuming I'm not the only one feeling helpless/overwhelmed/worried/guilty about lockdown with a child.

DD is 2.5 and I just feel so sad for her that she won't really see another child for the next however many months. She's suddenly lost her grandparents who we are so close with, her childminder and friends there, other friends, everywhere she usually goes. And is now stuck at home with a very stressed me.

We have a small apartment with a very small outside space, and the options for our 'hour of daily exercise' are very limited where we live.

I wish she had a sibling to play with and bounce off. I feel so guilty.

Anyone in the same boat?

Virtual play dates? Youtube work outs at home. Facetime grandparents.

She is more likely to be harmed from having a stressed out parent than not physically touching a non householder.

Me and my partner are both working from home with an only, she’s 3. I feel so guilty that we’re having to work all day every day, and can’t pay attention to her.

My only is 4 and I am feeling the same. Me and my husband are both working from home and doing shifts to try and entertain him in between working. He is totally unable to play on his own and only wants to do imaginative role play and running around being superheroes. It’s so tough and I feel guilty and sad.

Yep. 3 yr old here and it’s tough. I’m a key worker although at home - my days are super busy and often dealing with material really not suitable for children. She spends most of the day watching tv and is desperate for my attention, but then gets upset if I let her stay in the room. Hate it and worried this is going way more harm....

You could try games with her inside that get her moving. Loads of dancing, rolling a ball for her to get, jumping jacks etc.

Face time with friends. Perhaps do face time once a day w a different friend or family member. Even at a young age they can enjoy this. My baby is 3 months and always gives my mother a big smile when she sees her during our video chat. Usually I’m talking to my mom and she will ask to see the baby, so I show her and my mom will smile big or make a funny face and my dd recognises her and smiles big or laughs.

My other 2 kids are older and have fun seeing their friends for video chat. I also chat w my niece who is 3 and nephew who is 22 months.

Make Bath time fun. Put toys in there, play music etc.

My child is 3 OP and I really empathise. His attention span and behaviour have just really dived. I hope it gets better for all of us and I just desperately hope we can get some kind of new routine going where he'll be a bit happier.
I'm trying to be in the moment and have fun with him but I'm just not very cheerful right now.

Solidarity OP my DS is 2.5 and a wee firecracker at the best of times but this is something else. He’s not happy playing on his own just now at all and screams at full volume if I try to get him to do anything he doesn’t want to do (such as eat his dinner). I’m wfh 3 days a week but can basically only check emails until DS goes to bed and then action anything that needs doing after that.

DH is also wfh but he’s full time in finance so things are mental with the markets and tax year end so childcare has fallen to me. I am also still breastfeeding DS and he is on me every time I sit down, which is exhausting. He misses his grandparents who take him on my working days normally and I really miss them too.

for everyone

Yes, I feel guilty about Dd being an only now which is a bit ridiculous I guess - how could I have predicted this?
She has just turned 6, and we are lucky because she is able to get a lot out of face timing her friends. I was worried the "virtual play dates" wouldn't work out too well but they have. She takes my Phone and disappears off to giggle and gossip with her friends for ages! Video calls involving up to five kids have been attempted, these are hilariously chaotic.
I think it's worth a try with younger kids too, although would require more facilitating. I think having some kind of prop or activity would work better than just chatting, Eg "let's show grandma your painting!" Or two small children both doing the same activity in different places.

And 💐💐💐 to you op and others on this thread with little ones - you are doing the best you can in the circumstances you have been dealt. It is ok to feel sad, but please try to be kind to yourself!

I have 2 kids and worry similarly about them not getting "non-sibling" time to socialize, though it must be much worse for the parents of onlies in terms of "FOMO-by-proxy."

I try to tell myself something you might find useful even though our number of kids is different. In the United States, where I live, pioneer families often set forth to travel for months and then homestead in out-of-the-way places where the nearest town was a day or more's difficult journey away. The firstborn children of these families must have gone months at a time, over and over, without seeing anybody but their mother and father. It doesn't seem that children raised in those circumstances became irrevocably socially harmed, or really much different from any other farm children of any era.

It's an unusual way for a child to live, but not totally unheard of. Kids are SO very adaptable. It's their most wonderful quality.

How is everyone getting on? I’ve really felt it this last week. I’m grumpy and have lost all patience. I’m trying to remember it’s just as hard (if not harder) for my 4 year old but we’re both (and my husband!) struggling now.

I have two DSs, they are 5 and 2.5. I feel as though we could cope with either on their own, but not both. I’m either trying to work and have meetings with the 2.5 year old clambering all over me and scribbling over my notes, or trying to homeschool the 5 year old whilst the toddler runs around screaming with jealousy that he hasn’t got my undivided attention. They will sometimes play together nicely but they will argue a lot as well.

My DH is great but the 2.5 year old just isn’t having it. His sleep has always been bad but has regressed as well.

I’m trying to take it one day at a time.

@Summerdays2014

I get really grumpy by around 4pm and have to paste on the smile until bedtime.

My DS is 2.5. Overall he’s happy enough but there’s times he just doesn’t seem himself, just a lost a bit of his sparkle. He’s completely dropped him nap because we just can’t tire him out like we used to which means by 4pm everyone is in the grumpy club and by bedtime he’s irrational. I try to keep things interesting but his attention span seems to be getting shorter and shorter.

I’m just so sad having to say no to everything he requests.
Zoo, no
Beach, no
Play on the swings, no
Grandparents, no.
He was asking after his friends a lot in the beginnings but that’s stopped.

I find myself just getting so upset with it all and my patience isn’t what it was then I’ll snap at him and that’ll upset me more because it’s really not his fault.

to everyone in the same boat.