How are people managing childcare?

[grangeranger]

Serious question. In households where both parents need to work from home (or a single parent does), how are you managing with children to look after? DS is 1 and usually at nursery/with his grandmother several days a week but obviously neither of those options are available. How are you managing if you're not a key worker but still being required to work a full day?

I am a key worker (NHS frontline) DP is wfh and nursery are asking all children who have one or more parent at home to not come to nursery (dont want to send him anyway) Its going to be tough but we are just going to have to get on with it.

Take shifts. A friend of mine is in this situations - she gets up early, works from 6 am to mid-day, then her husband works from mid-day to 7 ish.

Its difficult. My lo is 14 mobths and teething. He doesnt want to go to his dad so its just down to me. Last week i managed by doing an hour between him waking up and having brekfast, while napping and a little while in the evening. I also did an hour or so on friday (i dont work fridays)

DH and I are both working from home but we have reduced our hours and are splitting the childcare.
DS is 3 and doesn't nap so it's impossible to work while looking after him, if he was older or if he had long naps it might be possible to do a bit.
I am a key worker so we were offered a nursery place which we considered taking but decided to decline. Nursery has now closed anyway as they didn't have enough children in the end.
Theoretically DH "should" do the childcare as I'm a key worker, but he's the main earner and doesn't get paid if he doesn't work (whereas i can take paid annual leave) so we can't sacrifice his job completely.
He usually does 4 days and has cut down to 3. I usually do 3 days and I've cut down to 2.5.
With no playgroups or play dates, working is definitely easier than looking after DS

"He doesnt want to go to his dad so its just down to me."

Good tips thank you. DS had his 12mo jabs 2 weeks ago and has been completely miserable since then. He's clingy in the extreme and I'm seriously struggling to see how people are managing. Hopefully he'll get back to feeling himself this week and it will all get a bit less overwhelming. Cutting back hours/taking a day a week of annual leave each seems like a sensible option

We are taking shifts, both WFH with a toddler. Rather than 2 long shifts, we've broken the day up: I work from 7.30-9am and use this time for non email/calls. DH then takes 9-10am to shower etc and do emails, and I then work 10-12. 12-12.30 we all have lunch together and at 12.30 DH starts work and I look after the toddler until nap time. I work during his 90min nap, then look after him until 4.30. 4.30 til 6.30 we use flexibly depending on work and then after bedtime at 7pm we can both catch up. Having a clear system has worked for us in arranging calls and blocked out time, but with some flexibility when needed.

Taking it in turns. I have a 4 and 2 yr old and it’s so hard. I only work 3 days but I’m spreading all my hours across the week in small chunks every day

We’re doing shifts but also accepting that we aren’t going to be able to do a full day every day, and that on occasion one of us will have an emergency that takes precedence.

I have 2 at home - 7 and 2 so it’s just not possible to occupy them and leave them to it.

I do 630-230. My dh does 1230-8 The crash between us is when toddler is asleep. Stressful but otherwise it’d be difficult as per his age he’s really demanding.

The clinginess is one reason we have broken the day into smaller chunks. DC won't let daddy do a nappy change (conveniently ) and it means there's only ever a small amount of time until mummy time. I'm pretty exhausted but it's doable.

Just kind of are,it doesn't work brilliantly but we're just cracking on best we can. DH and I are both WFH, DD is 5 so we are able to get her to do some activities bury herself but only for 20 mins or so at a time on a good day.

We have a list on the wall of 'Go to' activities that usually work to keep her occupied so we don't have to think of things off the top of our heads in a pressurised moment.

We have been using evenings to catch up on work and getting started earlier in the day too so if we need long breaks during the day it ends up working out.

Been ensuring we do a long walk every day or spend a decent amount of time in the garden as outdoors time wears her out and keeps her from going stir crazy.

Bosses know we have a child running around so at the beginning of each call/conference call we do a little 'sorry if DD decides to join the conversation' and everyone gets it, lots are in the same boat so are pretty understanding.

Also don't stress the mess, unfortunately it seems that the most interesting and engaging activities create chaos. DD is loving chopping up balloons to make Barbie clothing.

For 2s and under I'd recommend things like a storage tub full of super duper cheap cereal, and plastic cups/spoons so they can move the cereal between containers. Or set them up in the (empty) bath with bubbles to blow and/or small toys that have been frozen in water or set in water with gelatine so they have to melt/break them out. You can sit in the bathroom with your laptop while they play.

I should add, it helps that DH has worked 4 days a week and looked after DS 1 day a week ever since I went back to work after maternity leave. So they are both used to it, DH is fully capable and DS is fine with it.

Single parent here. DS is 2, doesn't nap, if he were a dog he'd be described as "high energy".

I manage. Barely. With lots of tears on both sides, and sitting on the floor with my laptop, him begging me "no work", too much TV. I log on once he's asleep and try and get as much done as I can't.

It's not ideal, but it's not forever. I do feel like I'm failing at parenting and working at the minute.

as much done as I can

Clearly. Stupid phone.

@DivGirl

You are not failing - you’re doing amazingly.

I barely cope and I have an excellent husband.

You are on your own - it’s amazing that you’re getting up every day.

Use the TV as much as possible.

I’m keyworker (nhs - mh)

Single parent ds 12 year 7 at school 3 days a week the other days can partly work from home as we holding meetings via video link

I do leave ds home for a few hours of my p/t days at work and thats more than I want to and feel terribly guilty ☹️ He is happy and at the moment so far it’s ok taking it week by week

It will depend on staffing he may have you o go in 5 days a week which he won’t be happy about.

Sorry read the question wrongly

I have been wondering how people are managing childcare.

My DH is away for a few months (military) and I’m now wfh with a 2yo and 4yo. Been doing it for 2 weeks (due to self isolation) and I’m totally shattered. I’ve been muddling through the day and catching up in the evenings. It’s not sustainable.

DivGirl I can relate to your post completely, especially the last comment. Hope you’re doing ok.

We’re doing shifts. Both wfh with two primary aged kids and a toddler, so two being “homeschooled” and the toddler generally running riot!

To be honest there is a lot of peppa pig going on. I need to find something less offensive that the toddler will sit still and watch!

Shifts and taking turns and kids watching tv a lot in afternoons

It’s fucking hard and makes me feel like screaming. I only work 3 days whereas DH works 5. We are both wfh right now but as he is the main breadwinner and works in finance (tax year end combined with virus making things crazy) he is working as normal and I’m fully in charge of 2 year old DS. I’m checking my emails on my phone where I can (I sit down and DS wants breastfeeding or to play with my phone) but having to do any more complex tasks after he goes to bed.

DH and I work from 7.30-9am and then in shifts through the day of generally 2-2.5 hours. I have a detailed plan for DC which means we don't have to think constantly what to do with them. They're probably doing about 2 hours of actual learning a day but they're only 6. My main aim is to try and do some literacy and numeracy related stuff with them each day.

I’m a single parent to a toddler and other than answering a few emails or doing a bit of work while he’s napping, my working day begins when he goes to bed (so I work 7pm-00:00 most days). It’s tiring but it means I can spend the day with him without stressing out.

@TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 thanks for the great ideas for under 2s!