Does anyone else have a sense of doom that just isn’t shifting? I know it’s irrational and a lot of people are surviving but I have this horrid niggling feeling that the monster that is coronavirus is going to get me and I will lose. I’m terrified and it’s affecting my mental health - I have OCD, not contamination OCD but nonetheless I’m scared to even go for a walk as it means I have to touch door handles and house keys. Currently I’m working exclusively from home, I’ve not been out the house for almost 2 weeks and neither has my partner (except to put the bins out). We’ve got food being delivered every 1-2 weeks and have been on lockdown since before the government announced it officially. I am asthmatic (albeit mild) and am quite a bit overweight - I’ve started eating smaller portions and obviously not had any takeaways and I’ve managed to drop 8lb but I’m so far off being a healthy weight. I’m feeling so anxious that I’m finding myself spending my free time sleeping - through boredom maybe but more as an escape I think. My Mum died 2 years ago and my Dad is currently not working 12 hour shifts in a hospital as a porter without protective gear, we stay in contact daily but I feel sick thinking about him.
My rational side of me is saying that we will recover and get through this but the anxious side of me is saying I won’t be here to see it.
Can anyone relate at all? I feel so anxious and alone. My OH is so optimistic, I wish I could share that with him.