What are you doing about elderly relatives who live alone?

[littlenamechanger]

How are others dealing with this?

Are you shopping for them? If so, do you leave the shopping outside?

Are you speaking to them through windows? Going into their gardens?

What about those that need assistance with something inside the house?

How are you helping them deal with the loneliness?

My MIL lives on her own, we are talking on the phone. She has a very good network with the neighbours so they are keeping her stocked with essentials. She wasn't able to get out prior to this, but obviously no one can pop in on her.

My mother lives alone, 74 with underlying health conditions. We have a good routine set up, I ring her 4-5 times a day. I leave her shopping once a week at her back door, I ring her while I am there and we chat looking at each other through the glass window. She has a family friend who is able to get her bits and bobs as well, these are left at her back door. Mum said she had put some cash in a tupperware box for family friend and will top it up as and when she needs it. Thankfully my Mum has a little dog who is company for her and she has been busy knitting, gardening (middle size garden), sewing, and yesterday was doing a puzzle. Every time I drop something off, I instruct her to wash her hands when she has unpacked the shopping. I have had a few tears from my Mum, but she understands and we are trying to make the best of it. Our motto is "we can get through this" and as my Mum reminds me, my Grandmother married my Grandfather on her 18th birthday and then did not see him for 4 years as he was posted to Burma during the war. She has even found some of my Grandma's war time recipe books. The biggest problem we are having as we only go shopping once a week is trying to buy for 2 households but we are managing.

Talk on phone every day and drop off groceries at the doorstep

I have been in my parents house a lot this week as my dad is in his 80's and is my mums carer. She's fallen many times over the last couple of days and dad cannot physically lift her on his own so rings me to help. She fell out of bed last night and he had to leave her onthe floor because he "didn't want to bother you (me) at 3am this morning". He rang me at 9am today, I went up and now she's in hospital as her sats were low and she's severely dehydrated. So yes I broke the rules but my dad needed me and I wasn't going to let him suffer on his own.

I’m taking groceries to an elderly relative in her 80s. I phone her when I’m outside the house and leave the shopping outside her door.
I’m concerned about what to do if she becomes ill as there’ll be nobody there to summon medical assistance if needed.

My gran is 89 and on her own. My sister and I do the shopping for her and my dad takes it round and leaves it in the kitchen while she waits in the other room.
We FaceTime her daily just to make sure she is ok.

Ringing them daily, pictures on WhatsApp, leaving groceries on the step & giving them a wave as I'm at it. Couldn't get them a delivery slot.

Sent off to the countryside to self isolate, phone up a couple of times a day for a chat. I am hoping we, the younger generation, catch it soon so we can then see them again once we have (temporary?)immunity. Be nice if the government could hurry up some tests for that.

Doing shopping for my 80 year old mum, would normally share this with my sister but shes ill. I am washing etc and am standing at back door while shes in kitchen. Lots of phone calls too.
Spending a lot of time explaining why she cant go to the post office for her pension and that no, she cant come with me shopping, even if she “covers her mouth” 😩😷 its hard for her to accept cos shes very young in her outlook and doesn't relate to being old, lots of bickering about this at the moment lol she is driving me crackers but can understand its tough on the older folk

Skype with my dad (70, underlying's, single) every day. I live too far away to do any shopping for him, but he has a good network around him thanks to a home business he runs. He's still got work coming in, and has launched a virtual helpdesk too, so that keeps him occupied. The worst thing for him is having nothing to do.

So glad he has taken it all seriously from the start, unlike others in my family.

It's hard for my SIL. PIL are both in 80s, DMIL with dementia, Parkinsons and osteoporosis. DFIL does his best to care for her and do all the household stuff, but day-to-day my SIL does a lot of shopping, cleaning, laundry. Plus going to her house (10 minute drive away) and seeing my nephew is a twice-weekly highlight of their lives. DFIL is really, really lonely when alone with DMIL. DSIL is still visiting once a week to help with the housework and just give him some company. She goes alone, keeps a distance, takes her own cup - does what she can to support them while trying to keep them safe.

If MIL fell and went down hard, I don't think my FIL would be able to get her up. I will have to get DH to talk to him about what he should do if this happens.

My grandad is 77 and self isolating. His 3 children are taking it in turns to get his shopping and leaving it on the doorstep. We are all speaking to him on the phone and texting him. He also uses social media so we are keeping in touch on there.

Both DM and MIL are in early 80s - I'm shopping for both. DH takes MILs round and leaves it on the doorstep (5 min drive) I am doing similar with my Mum, but 20 mins away. We both have shouted convos with them from down their driveways!

Both are very physically active and with it still, so finding the isolation hard as both are on their own. I ring my mum every couple of days, and text more often, share stuff on FB etc. She is more technically minded that MIL who just has the phone and occasionally emails. But she really can't cope if anything goes wrong.....

it’s hard, isn’t it? MIL is 80yr, although she has no underlying health conditions apart from diabetes, and lives 8hrs away, so no way of getting her shopping for her or anything. No deliveries possible, & no volunteer networks, so she is going out to get her shopping but otherwise staying at home - it’s the loneliness she struggles with.

My gran, who is 98, is on lockdown with her 78 year old daughter caring for her. Again all we can do is phone them.

87 year old Mum and 91 year old Dad. They have an Ocado delivery once a week which seems to deliver all they need. I visit and look at them through the window but they can't hear me even with the little top one open. She comes out to speak, I try to keep 2 metres, but she can't hear and keeps coming closer. Dad isn't well enough to come out.

Dad had to go into hospital on Friday - I had to wait outside in my car for 3 hours for the ambulance to arrive. I wanted to speak to the paramedics because my parents don't always hear but think they have IYSWIM. He is still in hospital (not Covid symptoms).

Now my Mum has an electrical problem, she says she can manage - but how do we stand about getting a electrician? She says she can't be bothered.