If you are WFH while looking after a toddler/young child, how long do you think you can sustain it?

[Canyoutellilikrchocolate]

DH and I both WFH.

My job is pretty intense, as in I need full concentration (it’s quite academic and technical). Definitely can’t do it while looking after our toddler.

DH job is super intense ie long hours at the best of times, very technical, high stress.

We’re currently taking it in turns to work / look after our nearly 2 year old. Then in the evening we do all the housework etc.

We’re up from 5.30 some mornings and getting no down time.

How long do those in a similar boat feel they can continue??

Is anyone considering other options?

I wish I knew OP, I'm struggling too. It's a hard time and I was expecting more understanding from work but its busier than ever. Its really highlighted that many people dont really have a clue how full on it is.

I have one nursery age and two older ones. My productivity has been shockingly low and I have put off the bigger pieces which need serious concentration. One of those is due next Thursday and I just can't work out when I'm going to get the space to do it. A few 7pm-12am stretches aren't going to cut it.

I am considering asking one of the (now closed) nursery workers if they want a nanny job for a few weeks but I'm wrestling with the risks for all involved in that.

I have two toddlers and both DH and I are WFH. At the moment his role is more demanding, IT support and I tend to work round it but I have a big deadline next week. We have agreed no calls at the same time which helps and I do a couple of hours at night. I spent a lot if time last week coming up with things to keep the kids happy that I can work round, colouring, making cards, icing biscuits. I have also found Facebook live videos of music classes help when I really need to focus and dad is busy. Yes it's hard and I did think the same as you at the start of the week but it's also hard on them and their routine is blown but it won't take them long to settle to a new routine.

I feel for you, this is so tough! I’m in a similar situation and figuring things out as we go.

Today I learned that only one of us can work at a time, for a defined stretch. Then we swap. Pre agreeing time windows like this leads to less arguments!

We have also split the household jobs. He does the kitchen (dishwasher etc). I cook sometimes, but leave all the dishes etc to him. I do the laundry, hoovering and clean the bathroom. This is working well now.

Don’t feel guilty if toddler has to watch more CBeebies than usual - some of those programs are brilliantly educational! And this is only a fairly short period of everyone’s lives.

Really good luck - you can do this :)

Mine are 8 and it's hard work. I really really empathise for those that are trying to do it with toddlers.

I worked with DS (3.5) last week and it was a big of a nightmare. I do customer support and I have to be available for calls with the general public so it's a real struggle. A couple of customers noticed but luckily our customers are lovely!

From Tuesday, DP and i will be working from home and we're going to take it in turns to look after DS.

Im more stressed about the adjustment for DS to be honest. He's an only child but he's used to being surrounded by kids at nursery, and I know he's missing having others to play with.

I have no idea, just until I can't any more. I've got dd1 who is 4 y/o and dd2 who is 7 months. I've only been back from maternity leave 4 weeks.

I'm now wfh indefinitely, DH is a firefighter and is now working pretty much when he's told, last week it was 4 days, covering sickness across the county. So I'm alone most days looking after the kids and trying to work from home. I'm a key worker (I work in social care arranging care services). I'm very lucky that my boss is extremely understanding about what I can reasonably get done while looking after 2 kids.

Work have also said I can reduce my hours if needed but they will pay me for the 30 hours in my contract. Which is amazing but to be honest I'm doing more than 30 hours anyway.

But I'm hating it. I hate that I can't give the kids or work my full attention, I'm constantly fobbing off my 4 year old telling her 'in a minute' or 'just hang on a minute'. I feel so stressed that I'm going to miss something at work and that someone will come to some sort of harm. I hate that I spend most of my morning hoping and praying that my 7 month old naps a bit longer so I can get my phone calls done. I hate that even when I do finish for the day that I'm counting down to bed time, just so I can have some peace and quiet. I'm so short tempered it's horrendous.

On the up side, this weekend I have made sure that anything Dd asks to do, I say yes to. We've done painting, bike riding around the garden, I've been watching her do tricks on her trampoline.

But I don't know how long I can keep this up for. It would be a lot easier if I had DH at home a bit more, we usually work opposite to each other so one of us is at home doing dinner, housework etc. But him hardly being here is making it a lot harder.

We also have a pre agreed schedule of about 3 hours on, 3 off between 9-6,.six days an week. Mon-fri we share our schedule with work so no one calls at off times. I get up at 5:30 to run (also spares me glares from vigilante neighbors), we bring the 3 year into the housework. It works. My career will tick over if not progress. One day at a time, we're anticipating 3-4 months.

I meant to say that DH is still pulling his weight, he's doing the shopping on his way to work and housework when he gets in. But I'm having to carry on working once the kids are in bed. I don't feel like I'm getting any sort of break which DH is aware of and I'm having a lie in tomorrow.

It isn't sustainable long term, you and your boss have to accept that you can work ft while loking after small kids.

I had 5 hrs of online meetings on thursday, OH had a whole day of seminars (teacher), the kids thankfully are 5 and 6 so able to look after themselves a bit, and still it was a nightmare. I only managed to work a couple of hours Friday as they needed some attention!

When the kids were babies and home ft we split the week/day dependent on meetings. We both worked ft for a year with a newborn and 16 month old at home. I'm really gald it is over though, and I don't have the energy to repeat it!

I’m wfh indefinetly now as is dh. It’s hell.

Ds is 2.5 and Dd is 8m. Ds thinks we’re on holidays from nursery. Dd doesn’t care.

Luckily for the next 2 weeks dh is still essentially on leave - he isn’t considered critical staff by his employer so they will hook him up to wfh eventually but he’s not a priority. So he’s default parent for the moment while I work.

I’m getting up at 5 working until 7/730 then having breakfast with family. Then working probably from 830/9 until 1/130. Then if I need to going back after kids are asleep.

@nevisbump My friend recommends the David Walliams story and there are several libraries doing a storytime online.

We’re splitting the day - I get up early and work until lunch, then take over with the DC in the afternoon while DH works. Before that we tried working at the same time and it was awful. I often need to take calls and answer emails in the afternoons but having a solid block in the morning means I can concentrate and I just do the bare minimum in the afternoons.

I’m really struggling with the blurring of everything into one. I love my family, but I am already feeling burnt out.
Next week I’m going to get up at 5 and try and break the back of it then. Luckily my two DC will sleep til 8 if undisturbed.
My DH is great but it’s just not feasible for either of us to actually complete our hours and adequately care for the DC.

I’m starting back from maternity leave next week. Both DH and I working from home with a 9 month old to look after. We’re thinking that we will each take one day of annual leave per week to give the other one a chance to work a long day, then for the other 3 days I’ll start really early while he does childcare then we will switch in the middle of the day and he’ll work until late evening while I do childcare and sort dinner.

I already feel stressed at the idea of it, no idea how sustainable it’s going to be. Going to give it a few weeks and if it doesn’t work then one of us (probably me) will have to take unpaid leave I guess, that will be a huge financial struggle but Id rather we have to tighten our belts than make ourselves ridiculously stressed trying to do everything!

It's impossible and I'm currently so angry at my employer for expecting people with small children to be doing their full hours, the same as people without small children. We're not even busy as our work has stopped for now. What about single parents or where one parent is a key worker? It's maddening. This is a situation which no one would choose, so why are parents the ones being penalised?

I'm on my own with 2ds, one is 5 and one is 9, WFH and trying to teach the 3.. I managed to stay positive (or numb or in denial or something) last week, but anxiety today, now that I've had a chance to breath and actually think about the reality of what's going on, has hit fairly hard.

One day at a time...

I'm also wfh for the foreseeable and have a 2 year old. My husband is still working so it was just me trying to do a stressful job with numerous conference calls whilst trying to look after DS. By Wednesday it had got too much and DH had to take Thursday Friday off to help. Luckily we both have next week off but I'm already dreading the week after.
My company have been really supportive but I still feel pressure to get work done, work colleagues phoning for urgent things when I've got a screaming toddler.
I think I could probably keep going like this for a month but after thank something will have to give

On my own with a 4 year old, and I don't k ow how I'll get through this. I work 9-6 4 days a week and he's just too young to be able to get through that long with minimal parenting from me. I am already so tired and stressed out that the idea of taking longer breaks in the day and working after he sleeps is just going to burn me out sooner. Plus I'm taking calls throughout the day.

I don't know what to do, my manager doesn't have kids, and his manager does but they're older and she has a partner at home so they're not in the same situation. Work have asked everyone to be flexible, but I don't know how to do both work and parenting at the same time, there isn't enough of me to go around.

I haven't even managed to get out and do a food shop for the past 2 weeks, so we're at the end of our supplies. I'll have to go tomorrow (today! Sleep is not coming easy at the moment.) I wish there was a way I could avoid taking my son to the supermarket with me. Usually I would order online, or drop him at my parents', but I can't do either of those.

To be honest, a big part of me wants to pack a bag and move in with my mum whilst we're all not showing any signs of being ill, but I have cats and am not sure if I could keep popping home to feed them and check in.

Thanks for the place to vent. I'm drowning in anxiety and need to just spew it out so I can try to clear my mind and get some sleep.

Both trying to work with a toddler is too frustrating and difficult. My boss has been amazing (has kids too) so I’m doing early mornings and naptimes every day instead of 3 full days and filling in a basic email timesheet. I get more done in concentrated chunks than sitting there all day trying to do emails and watch DS. Working weekends is no issue as there’s not much else Im missing out on! I feel much less harassed now I’m able to concentrate on one thing. Partner has a lot of calls so can’t really move too much around but took him yesterday so I could get a break.

Getting DS out for a morning run about is also key. Just takes the edge off him the rest of the day.

I'm self-employed with a 4 yo and 2 yo. They usually have school and I have childcare three days a week for the toddler. Husband is still out working and has had all weekend and rest days cancelled because of absence/pressure due to recent events. I'm working between 8pm and 2am, getting up at 6/7 with the kids. I'm exhausted but I'm damned if I'm going to lose my work and clients I've built up. They've been really understanding and I'm managing to get a lot achieved but I'm questioning how long I can keep this going for. We had strict feelings about screen time and now the 2 yo has her own kindle. All the rules are going out the window right now to survive. Kids are loving it though.

Thanks everyone. It’s tough isn’t it.

I keep feeling like I’ll end up needing to be signed off with stress (history of (medically diagnosed) anxiety). But then I think of all the amazing NHS staff etc who are going through so much worse and would feel like such a loser.

I’m also experiencing some quite stressful office politics (nothing to do with corona) which has put a lot more stress on me.

I’m WFH four days a week and in the office one, I usually only work four short days but we’re hugely short staffed. I assess financial risk so I need to be able to concentrate well while working or I can easily cock it up.

I’m very lucky that my boyfriend has moved in, so I have generally been working two hour slots with at least half an hour break inbetween. My son is four, so if my boyfriend wasn’t here to entertain him I would really struggle.

I'm having a hard time with this too. It's been one week and I dread to think of how long this will go on for. DH is still out of the house every day at work, so I'm trying to get 8 hours work in at home each day with our 20 month old. Basically we end up with cbeebies on for 10 hours a day and I'm constantly shouting or ignoring the poor thing. My work load is huge and I've recently been given more. Every day I end up so stressed that my heart is pounding, or I end up in tears.

I'm praying that nurseries and childminders can open a bit sooner than expected!

I am a single parent of 2. Both have different types of special needs and need a lot of input

I am disabled and just CANT work from 5am or work until midnight. I just DONT have the energy/resilience

I am used to life being difficult, but this is tipping me over the edge