16yo DD breaking lockdown

[Schmedz]

I discovered my DD today met up with a friend for a long bike ride and they hugged each other goodbye as usual. The dog was growling so I went to the door when I realised they were together.

I am asthmatic and taking the advice to stay home seriously seriously - both my children know how serious things are in the world at the moment (and the particular danger I would be in if contracting the virus) and yet she chose to behave like this (and I think has been seeing friends on other 'bike rides') she has been taking in past days.

I cannot believe she is so irresponsible and when I challenged her on it, she refused to take any responsibility. I realise teens are egocentric with underdeveloped pre-frontal cortexes, but this utter lack of concern for anyone else has upset me deeply.

What advice do other parents have for me in trying to deal with this?

This sounds really tough. I don't really have any advice for you, but realise you haven't received any replies and didn't want to read and run.

I have a nearly fifteen year old and haven't encountered this situation (yet). But with this thing going on for a while it is quite possible I will. I have underlying health condition too.

I can only say that what has happened is in the past and you can't change it now. Which I understand probably doesn't help your upset. I can think of similar instances of 'not caring' and 'not seeing' me as a mother, which have upset me deeply too. And like you I understand pre-frontal cortex thing. Usually I wait if I can (which I'm not always able to in the lockdown) - walk away and do something else.

More often than not I get a knock on the door and an apology and 'I love you'.

I feel it is really difficult and makes me feel very alone There is that thing that it is only when someone directly feels the consequences of a situation that they realise something.

Lockdown is getting worse now and I understand that before long we will need to have documentation to show when we go out as to what the reason is.

I have seen on our street that the police have challenged teenagers out in a group of more than two - from different households.

Sorry not to offer more than solidarity. Hope it helps a bit

all best
mid

I wouldn’t let her out on her own again. She goes out with you if she can’t be trusted.