Dilemma - do I go to help disabled aunt?

[WankmasterBastardDeLaShithead]

My Aunt is 70 and disabled. She is in the "extremely vulnerable" bracket for CV. She lives in a block of "retirement" flats, and has a carer visit four times a week. She has limited ability to use technology, but I'm pretty sure she could use a Scrabble app on her iPad. This would enable me and the rest of my family to play with her (she loves Scrabble). I've tried talking her through the download process, but she can't manage it.

I live about 10 mins away by bike, and I'm considering going round to set it up for her. Perhaps she could even it in the communal hallway to avoid face to face contact. However, I'm worried about even going into the building as it's obviously full of elderly, vulnerable people. I'm also trying very hard not to catch it myself, so am also being cautious about this mission from that perspective too.

I could just leave it until next week when her carer comes, but I'm not sure the carer will be able to do the set up. I will be working when the carer is there, so can't talk her through it.

What do you think?

I think probably, no. It would be nice, but it's far from essential.

Maybe leave it until the carer has been at least, because maybe she can get it to work.

If not, maybe she could leave the iPad somewhere secure, but not in the main block for you to get it, set it up and leave it and she could take it back another day.

Yeah, I think I'm inclined to agree with you. The "drop off" you;ve suggested isn't an option. Slight drip feed is that aunt currently can't use her hearing aids, and so is even more "cut off" than usual. Apart from her carers (4 x 2 hours per week) and some rather unsuccessful phone calls, she has zero contact with anyone. It's painful to imagine how lonely and bored she is just now.

If she's that cut off then I think you should be factoring in that isolation can and does kill people too. It would be better to be proactive and protective about that now than to be trying to undo serious damage a month or so down the line.

Clean anything on your bike etc you'll touch, wash your hands, touch as little as possible, etc.

The essentials of keeping someone safe and healthy are mental too.

It is hard.

Is there anyone in the family who has a tablet they don't use that could be set up with Scrabble and Skype or similar and then given to the carer to give to your aunt? Or posted?

See how the carer gets on and then re-evaluate. It could be possible to do it if she leaves the iPad out on the doorstep. You go with mask and gloves. Just do the iPad and then leave.

Do any of you have a spare device you could set up for her and then drop off?

Bearing in mind her carers will be seeing lots of people I'd have thought they pose a greater risk than you anyway.

I think I would. Maintain social distance and handle her iPad with gloves if you have touch screen ones. Wash your hands and don’t touch your face.

#stayathome

Seriously.

I completed an online form yesterday to volunteer in my community for the covid crisis. One of the questions asked was can you help people unfamiliar with tech to set up video calls on their phones and iPads, so I think it's acceptable to do this.

Would it be possible to call/text her when you're outside, stand back and let her bring it out the front, and then you set it up for her and clean with wipes and stuff and stand back while she collects it?

Also you are permitted to leave your home to provide care or help someone vulnerable

Of course you can go, we are allowed to go and help vulnerable people. I have a similar situation with my DM who has Alzheimer’s. I am going to visit her once a week to help her with things in her flat. She has three care calls a day but other than that is seeing no one, she can’t watch TV or read.

Could she ask the carer to do it. It might be something that would take a few moments.

Some good points on here. I'm going to pop round.

I have done this as a volunteer today, but washed hands copiously, didn't touch the gate, didn't go in the building etc. I know how you feel but she was two weeks into isolation and even the chat was worth it.

I’d do it, following the good advice about hygiene. Could you teach her to text too? It’s not complicated and it’d make a huge difference to her, if she has a hearing impairment.

i would definitely go. Giving care is one of the reasons. if possible to do it in a communal area then I would do that.

Could you make and instruction video of how to do it, upload to youtube and send her a link? or if she uses whatsapp send it via that.