Anyone else EXHAUSTED in lockdown by now?

[eaglebay]

I'm exhausted. I have 2DC, 2.3y and 13m, they need constant entertainment, and/or a lot of screen time. I also now have my DH to consider as he's WFH. We can't go out or do anything and spend our days inside all driving each other crazy. Our one walk in the park for daily exercise is the ONLY thing I have to look forward to and now I'm panicking the government will order all the parks to close soon and I'll have nothing to get me through this.

I feel like I'm losing my mind. Anyone else?!

I could’ve written your post, I’m 25wks pregnant and have a very active 3yr old. DP is a key worker and is still having to go to work so it’s just me at home all day trying to keep DS entertained. I’m exhausted and don’t know how I’ll cope with weeks of this.
I don’t have any advice I’m afraid but you’re not alone

OP is your husband helping? Lots of men pulling the 'me big man hide in office all day' shit at the moment. He can surely give you breaks.

Thanks @HotMessMama nice to know I'm not alone.

I'm a SAHM so I'm used to being at home with DC but at least the 2yr old goes to preschool in the mornings back when life was normal. But also when life was normal we'd go to baby groups, music classes, soft play, museums, birthday parties etc. Passing the time now is incredibly difficult for me.

We are following all the guidelines and taking all of the precautions, isolating ourselves, social distancing when we go for our one piece of exercise a day etc., and I know our actions are saving lives but I don't know how much longer I can do this. If they prolong the shutdown beyond the 3 weeks originally planned then my mental health will really suffer.

To be fair to him he is giving me small breaks here and there @gronagaforever. He has been cooking us lovely big hot breakfasts every morning and helps with bath time etc., which he can't normally do. But he still needs A LOT of direction and prompting and it's quite mentally exhausting. He's also just another person I have to think about in the home when usually I don't have to. He doesn't have much work on at the moment either due to all this C-19 stuff so is generally just hanging around being a nuisance.

Yes.
DH and I are both trying to juggle our jobs - mind is demanding and DH’s exceptionally demanding - while looking after a 21 month old who cannot (obviously) entertain herself.

Sounds like he should be doing more then if he's not busy.

I remember those exhausting days and I wasnt even in lock down!
So I would say get organized- dont just roll with it each day, that becomes hard work quickly.
Get activities sorted have a list and the materials near by. Make play dough together, bake cakes, long baths in middle of the day to play, freeze toys in ice for them to get out. Do you have a garden? If so colouring in the garden, bug hunt, races, teddy bears picnic, music on and dance- action songs, sleeping lions- you sit with a cup of tea! do as much as you can before naps. Then relax a bit after, build a den and read books in it. Then put telly on - cbeebies, little baby bum etc and give yourself a break. Bulk cook if you can. Prepare snacks day before. This is an endurance test so try to prepare thing in advance.
Mine are 4 and 6 now- I'm working from home so is dh .... hard work, but at least they're a bit more independent.

Good luck!

My children are older now but they were bloody hard work at this age and I was reflecting yesterday that this must be incredibly tough on some parents. I honestly feel for you and I’m sending you a great big bloody hug, wine, chocolate, you name it.

Keep using mumsnet, it’ll keep you sane.

Exhausted by constant trailing round different shops because no where has all items we need for a big family. Mentally exhausted by the anxiety this is causing thinking that every trip out could potentially put my family at risk particularly DH who is in high risk group. Annoyed this morning that I wanted to treat my teenage kids to one of those cold lattes from the supermarket and they would only sell me 2 when I have 3 teenagers. It's hardly a staple item like toilet rolls or milk is it. Ridiculous. People coughing everywhere etc.

Yes I am bored and fed up as is my daughter. We live alone in a flat with no garden so it's difficult. All Facebook posts seem to be so cheerful with people enjoying the lockdown but I feel desolate. Glad to know I'm not the only one !!

Mum of a 1 year old here who is very aware of the depression I’ve only just managed to control coming back and it’s only been a week! I will not be able to cope if this goes on for more than 3 weeks. This week has been bad enough. The days all roll in together. I do have a routine, I do plan activities and we do go out once a day, everyday. It’s not helping.

Comforting to know I'm not alone in feeling like I do.

We live in a flat so unfortunately no back garden to roam in. We do live 2 min walk from a park though which has been my only pleasure in lockdown.

Thank you for writing this, I was in tears over how hard I'm finding it with 2.7yo DS. It's so relentless and we are both used to him going to preschool five mornings a week. Even when he's not at preschool we'd be out and about doing things. I'm getting impatient and keep snapping and crying and just feel like an awful parent- I can't just let him watch TV for 12 hours.

DH is WFH but is super busy, but he gives me an hour off at lunch and does his share of the cooking/cleaning etc.

Yep! As are many of my friends in similar positions. Both DH and I are working from home whilst trying to look after a very lively 5 year old and 3 year old. Thankfully our school is wonderful and told us to concentrate on being there as a parent and not a teacher which is for the best as we just haven’t had the time or energy to do much home schooling! But it is so exhausting. However we are fortunate in that we are able to work from home and we have a garden. There are many people in much worse positions to us.

Yes. And I've been at work every day because I'm a key worker!! DH has been home with the kids this week. But I have family who are isolating because of their health. So I have to help them with shopping etc. While the shops have nothing and are now only open when I am in work. I am actually looking forward to being off!!

Same here OP. Only have one DD (2) but I’m stressed and exhausted and have no idea how I’m going to come out of this with my sanity intact. All of my friends with toddlers/preschoolers feel the same. Also trying to shop for two sets of elderly parents and a vulnerable neighbour and current scarcity issues not helping. Very little ‘work from home’ getting done.

All the people saying we just need to build our resilience and at least we have tech solutions nowadays can just do one as far as I’m concerned; toddlers don’t want tech, they want their parents’ focused attention, proper exercise and social interaction, and at the moment they can’t have any of those things.

Yes totally agree @TempsPerdu all well and good shouting 'it isn't that hard to just sit on your sofa and stay inside for 3 weeks'. Oh how I wish that were the case!!

Exactly @eaglebay toddlers don't want to sit and chill. I don't want to either tbh, I like a few hours watching a box set and knitting but I also like going out and doing things in my free time.

I had a chat with DH and he said I should be kinder to myself and DS won't come to harm by watching more TV than ideal, but if it gives me a ten minute breather it's worth it. I've got a chronic illness which is flaring up so I'm in pain which makes me even more short tempered.

I have a 3 yr old and a one year old. I’ve been furloughed but DH is still going to work every day Mon-Fri. I’ve done one week of lockdown and have no idea how I will mentally cope if it goes on for weeks/months without losing my mind.

I’m making the most of him being home today and am currently locked in the bedroom alone. Bliss.

See, the problem is that parents have the mindset that kids have to be entertained all day every day now, and kids get used to this and don’t know how to amuse themselves. In much the same way that they don’t know how to settle themselves to sleep anymore either.

Just give your kids some toys and let them play by themselves. Get on with doing something else and if they won’t let you, tell them to go and play. They will soon learn to amuse themselves.

It’s not cruel, by the way. Letting your child be bored and teaching them to use their imagination is the best gift you can give them.

@BlueMoon1103 I have a one year old too and my pnd is coming back I can’t cope with anymore of this and not knowing when it will end. I find myself in tears most days.

I remember! My kids are older - 12 & 15 - but they both have Autism.
They are bored (15 yr old misses his 2 friends, and wants to stay up 24/7 researching his latest obsession) (12 year old has no friends and is completely unable to entertain herself so wants mine / her siblings attention ALL the time). They bicker endlessly, seem to be super hungry atm, and wont listen to a word I say! I am a single parent who is also (physically) disabled. We live in the arse end of nowhere and I cant use my car atm. Honestly, you couldn't make it up.

It's crap. REALLY crap. But - we WILL survive it, and that's everything.

Are you all going out together?

I would swap it so that one day he takes them out for an hour and you have some time to yourself, the next day you do it. If he doesn't think that's fair he's a selfish wanker

He needs to do his fair share of solo parenting both indoors and outdoors. It shouldn't all fall to you.

One thing I used to do when exhausted with my 3 under 3 was give them a bath. In the middle of the day. They would love the sudden change to routine, a nice long play in the bubbles with all the bath toys. It calmed them down. I could then sit down and rest for say 20 minutes. If I had some energy then I might clean the bathroom whilst they played.

You could give them "new toys" - wooden spoons, plastic ladles etc from the kitchen. Some tuppaware or empty plastic pots. Just anything different from the norm.

Good luck. It's hard work at the best of times.

Interesting reading the message from the EYProvider about occasionally letting children get bored so they can make their own amusements. I do agree, but my daughter and her husband have two children, one a very, very lively 5 year old boy and a 2 year old girl. Although Mum is very inventive at providing lots of creative things for them to do, their attention span is very short and they often leave her to it 😉 If she then tries leaving them alone to play by themselves, the older one often hits the younger one (attention seeking ? Probably). So she’s exhausted as the children only want to be with Mummy, despite Daddy being around. I would love to help, but I live in the north and stuck because of lockdown. Any suggestions about how to manage what could be called ‘challenging children’ who won’t play by themselves, won’t behave and listen and no amount of stickers, rewards, naughty steps etc etc seems to work.