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Original poster

Unmarried, no will and if one person dies of coronavirus!

31 replies

Thehouseofmarvels · 27/03/2020 11:27

I surprised my friend the other day by explaining to her what would happen if her boyfriend died of coronavirus. He has a young child from a previous girlfriend. Writing wills is not something that has ever crossed their minds because they are not old. They have not set up any survivor ship (joint tenants) clause when they bought their house. I think a lot of people my age, at least that I know (twenties) do not realise there is any difference between being married or not married when someone dies as its so common for people to describe marriage as just a piece of paper. I even know of parents of my friends, aged 60+ who think like this, even though in at least one case I dread to think of the amount of inheritance tax they would have to pay given their huge house in one of the most expensive areas in the south east.

Even my mum who has done probate so knows about legal paperwork, was gobsmacked when I told her the law does not recognise boyfriend/ girlfriend domestic partnerships when someone dies intestate !

So I said to my friend that if her boyfriend got coronavirus and died intestate, the small child would inherit his half of their house, as her boyfriend's closest blood relative. I explained that my friend would have to work with her partner's ex to sell the house.

My mate found this information useful, I wondered if anyone else would? I tried to discuss with my own boyfriend about writing a will. We live with parents but after all this is over I can afford buy a house but as he has no money he will just be a lodger. I wanted him to have the place if anything happened to me but he said it's upsetting to talk about death and not to do anything or even discuss it. So I hope nobody is offended about me talking about death like he was!

OP posts:
JanewaysBun · 27/03/2020 11:31

This Is useful, great info! Xx

user3274826 · 27/03/2020 11:34

My partner and I are not married. We rent, (saving for a deposit in my bank account) we have 2 kids. He recently took out quite hefty life insurance but hasn't named me, just 'next of kin'. I explained that meant I wasn't entitled to it and he said it's fine because it would go to the kids and I'd be able to access this, but I don't think he is right? I think it would end up in a trust fund until they were 18?

1Wildheartsease · 27/03/2020 11:35

I have found that being counted 'next of kin' is also important in dire situations.

It is probably your boyfriend's Mum or Dad who would automatically have this status/the rights that go with it in a hospital situation (once he can't speak for himself)... even if he hasn't spoken to them for years.

You would not have say at all about whether you see him/or what happens to him etc.

Even if you all get on very well now - intensive care puts great pressure on families and deep divisions can appear out of nowhere.

Purplewithred · 27/03/2020 11:36

Absolutely everyone should be doing this - it horrifies me how many people don't think about the consequences if they are unmarried and share property and/or children, or about power or attorney.

Not doing it is just plain selfish IMHO

GU24Mum · 27/03/2020 11:40

Hi OP, very good point about wills.

BUT, just to note that if you own a house with someone else then it depends whether you hold as "Joint Tenants" or "Tenants in Common" as to whether a will is relevant for the property. If you hold as joint tenants then the survivor inherits regardless. If it's tenants in common then the will/intestacy rules apply.

okiedokieme · 27/03/2020 11:45

You can write a will without a solicitor, there's templates online for all kinds of circumstances. It needs to be witnessed by a non relative (tricky at the moment) but perhaps a neighbour would do it, better than nothing

Pentium85 · 27/03/2020 11:51

@purplewithred

Never been called selfish before Grin

kimlo · 27/03/2020 11:55

It's shocking how many people don't know this. People don't tend to know until they have a reason to know.

She would get the house though as long as they aren't tenants in common.

IHadADreamWhichWasNotAllADream · 27/03/2020 12:05

Everyone who doesn’t have a will needs to know (not just assume: research and find out for certain) what would happen if they died tomorrow, and think about how much of a problem that would be.

If it would be disastrous (eg your mother would have to track down your abusive father who left when you were three and give him half your savings) then you need to act now.
www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will

Pinkdelight3 · 27/03/2020 12:17

user it's not fine and I'd want to know why he didn't want me to be his next of kin? I mean, personally I'd want to be married, but seeing as you haven't gone that route, why is it so casual that the DC you had are all that matter? You need to go over this again before going anywhere near buying a house together, because if he died, you'd want his life insurance to pay off his chunk of the mortgage so you're not screwed. And you need to be very clear on who has what legal status if you're buying together and not married. In essence - listen to your gut and get legal advice, don't take him at his word and hope for the best.

ViciousJackdaw · 27/03/2020 12:24

This is the reason I got married. We'd been together for 17 years then he got really ill and the hospital wouldn't give me any information over the phone as I wasn't NOK.

On the subject of death and dying, another thing you can do to relieve the pressure on those left behind is to make your end of life wishes known. DDad was very clear about this, even asking me if I'd 'help him do it' if needed. He ended up having a long, drawn out death and knowing what he wanted in advance made the clinical decisions much easier to deal with.

TheLadyAnneNeville · 27/03/2020 12:28

I’d imagine the “online Will” companies are busy right now. Seriously, as one who is going through probate at the moment...SORT THINGS OUT (if you can).

IceKitten · 27/03/2020 12:29

This is a really important thread OP.

Original poster
Thehouseofmarvels · 27/03/2020 12:43

@user3274826

I think that the money would go into a trust fund and the kids could access it at age 18! I think you would be a trustee who could manage it by for example buying a flat to rent out, but the money would have to be kept for the kids. I think you would get money if they chose to give it to you at 18.

Probably best to talk to a solicitor! It might be good for your and your boyfriend to get the facts. If he just wants his kids to benefit I guess that is up to him, but if he died and you owned a property you may not be allowed to pay off the mortgage unless he left his half of the house to the children. So you could use their money to pay off half the house that they owned, that they inherited from their father. Then they would sell it at 18. I know of someone whose father died and them and their sister were selling half the family house on reaching their twenties as they rather than their mother inherited.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thehouseofmarvels · 27/03/2020 12:50

@GU24Mum

That's a really helpful comment. I did mention joint tenants in my post but I think I did not explain it well enough to be useful! You've explained it better.

I think a lot of younger people like my friend do go for tenants in common, in case they split up, so they protect their savings. People who have gone for joint tenants will have needed to think about survivor-ship so may have some idea of what would happen.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thehouseofmarvels · 27/03/2020 12:54

I'm happy several people have commented saying this was useful!

There is an huge complex issue with my boyfriends family. It reminds me of Bleak House. We do plan on getting married partly because I am religious but also partly because of what I have learn. My boyfriend is not good with this sort of thing and can't afford lawyers so I have attempted to learn everything I can about this type of thing.

I basically wanted to use what I know to help people :)

OP posts:
GemmaTellerMorrow · 27/03/2020 13:00

I think there's a difference between married and single regarding bereavement allowance from the DWP too.

Original poster
Thehouseofmarvels · 27/03/2020 13:04

I just saw Boris Johnson has corona-virus.

I imagine Boris will have a will leaving everything to his girlfriend Carrie.

However while as far as I can see from the media he is still legally married to his wife Marina.

Although I'm not saying it is likely that Boris will die, as he will probably get the best care in England it is not impossible.

Courts often do not like it if a man writes a will leaving everything to his girlfriend and nothing to his wife. I wonder if they make an exception if the girlfriend of a married man is pregnant?

In addition Carrie would have to pay inheritance tax on everything over 325, 000.

Although most people leave everything to their current partner, it would suck a bit for Boris' other various kids and wife. especially if Carrie was left property that Marina would have received in the divorce.

OP posts:
ThePluckOfTheCoward · 27/03/2020 13:05

I'm gobsmacked how many people DON'T know this. I though that by now everyone knew that living together does not confer the same rights as marriage, marriage is NOT just a piece of paper. Any unmarried couples with children or joint ownership of property need Wills. I mean People on Mumsnet have been banging on about this for ages, how could people not know this stuff? When you have children it is so irresponsible not to have Wills and guardians in place in case of the worst. look into this stuff. it's never been easier to find out about this stuff via the internet.

Anyway Op, well done for posting this as it obviously still needs to keep being said.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 27/03/2020 13:07

That's not true. If they bought the house together and are both on the deeds the House will go to her.

This is what happened to me when my partner died and we were unmarried with no will.

I also did not pay any inheritance tax because the house was under the threshold.

permana · 27/03/2020 13:08

I think there will be a huge rush on weddings after the restrictions are lifted, as people realise how few rights you have in a non-married couple.

Wannabangbang · 27/03/2020 13:14

Tbh the little girl should mean more to him than his girlfriend, and surely the child will then have a secure future. How long has he been with this girlfriend, what makes her mor3 entitled than his own child.

Candleabra · 27/03/2020 13:23

We made mirror wills only 9 months before my husband died very suddenly. I never for a million years thought I'd be using his will so soon. He was only in his early 40s so thought we had years left.

Even as a married couple (first and only marriage for both), 2 kids together no others, no other dependants etc, it made the aftermath so much easier having a clear will, with me as the sole beneficiary and executor. It was the first thing any company asked for along with the death certificate.
I'm sure everything would have been sorted out eventually but believe me, you don't want to make things harder when you're reeling from the death of a spouse.
So make that will. Even if you're married and think things are clear cut it really helps.

burnoutbabe · 27/03/2020 13:26

your friend doesn't need to do anything re the house if they own it as JOINT TENNANTS (the default position) as it would go to her if he died.

He may wish to get that amended, by severing the joint tennancy (can be done just by sending a I SEVER letter to the house). putting it in his will won't change the position on the ownership.

Movingnot · 27/03/2020 13:30

I'm not surprised that people don't get it. Lots of people are very thick. Marriage is a legally binding contract - the point is security for things like this not tedious weddings and bad hen dos.

I know of someone that died - he left his work insurance to his kids. Partner (and kids' mother) could not access the money. They lost their home.