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Covid

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Original poster

Teenage romance during the pandemic

25 replies

StuntEgg · 27/03/2020 00:02

DS has a GF of 6 months's standing, and when social distancing was introduced, DS accepted (eventually) that their relationship would be confined to Facetime for the time being. GF took a lot of persuading and took it personally when I said she couldn't come round till this was all over.

Since the lockdown, she still hasn't accepted that they can't see each other and is constantly asking him to go round to hers (since I'm an evil mother and won't let her come here). DS doesn't want to break up with her, however he is running out of ways to explain why this is essential to keep all of us safe. Even her parents are pressuring him to go round there, saying all the other youngsters they know are still seeing their GF/BFs.

Am I really the only parent that is being strict about this? Does everyone else not mind if their teens are still going on dates?

OP posts:

IAmBeatrixKiddo · 27/03/2020 00:06

You certainly sound like the only parent with any sense. Stay strong!

NuffSaidSam · 27/03/2020 00:07

You're being sensible. It's a shame her parents' aren't. How old are they?

Original poster

StuntEgg · 27/03/2020 00:09

They're both late teens; she is two years younger than him.

OP posts:

HairyFloppins · 27/03/2020 00:10

My 18 year old dd started seeing a guy a few months back. He's been asking her to visit constantly. He went out to the pub the night they shut, DD didn't. She knows they can't see each other. I think she has seen his true colours to be honest. You are doing the right thing.

It's amazing the amount of stupid, selfish people about.

BecauseReasons · 27/03/2020 00:11

Call the parents and ask WTF they're playing at?

Deelish75 · 27/03/2020 00:12

You are right. Boris Johnson made it clear that we were not to enter another person’s home.
How would your son get to his girlfriend’s? The police are setting up roadblocks and now issuing fines for people who do not have a valid reason. I am currently listening to LBC and there is talk of the police using drones to monitor areas - I don’t know if it is happening now but certainly being spoken about.

Finally how would your son feel if he brought CV into your home and it killed someone - that’s a hell of a burden on the shoulders of a teenager. I do feel for your son and GF but they need to stick to the rules.

GreenTulips · 27/03/2020 00:12

I’d like to say I’m amazed how stupid people are but nothing shocks me at the minute.

Fancymarmite · 27/03/2020 00:15

DD18 asked if her boyfriend (21) could stay with us, and we agreed. Otherwise he would not have been allowed round until advice changed

Gonna put him to good use in the garden this weekend

actionpacked · 27/03/2020 00:16

My ds and his gf have thankfully, been very sensible about this and have not seen each other for 2 weeks now, using FaceTime etc. They plan to continue this and I hope they do. There’s some pressure from friends to meet up but ds has also told them no. I think you’re doing the right thing and second asking her parents wtf they’re playing at!

Original poster

StuntEgg · 27/03/2020 00:23

Call the parents and ask WTF they're playing at?

That's looking like the next inevitable step, I think. I haven't met them so it would make for an interesting first conversation!

How would your son get to his girlfriend’s?

He'd have to get the bus, which he doesn't want to do, and I have refused to drive him. GF's father has offered to come and pick him up, and as he is a key worker he is allowed to be driving around. DS is well aware of the dangers, but every explanation he gives for not going, they (as a family) offer a way round it. It's doing both our heads in!

I'm relieved to read the responses here so far, as they make it clear that I'm not being unreasonable in the least!

OP posts:

Original poster

StuntEgg · 27/03/2020 00:28

@Fancymarmite @actionpacked Glad there are some responsible young lovers out there! I know it is tough for them, but the consequences could be, as @Deelish75 says, a dreadful burden for a teen to carry.

OP posts:

Isthepopea · 27/03/2020 00:28

DD is not seeing her BF of a year. They’re both adults, but both accept that they can’t.

Hannah021 · 27/03/2020 00:35

Her parents r a pile of shit, they dont care about anything, her, him, even themselves. Its this shitty attitude that keeps corona spreading

londonscalling · 27/03/2020 00:44

He shouldn't be giving excuses/explanations for not going. Just tell the GF and her family that he simply won't be going until the Government lifts the restrictions!

Original poster

StuntEgg · 27/03/2020 00:54

He shouldn't be giving excuses/explanations for not going. Just tell the GF and her family that he simply won't be going until the Government lifts the restrictions!

That's what he's been doing all week, but GF just keeps asking "But why? Don't you want to see me?" So he explains why yet again and they just go round in circles. I can't see the relationship surviving this, because DS is getting sick of saying it over and over, and now that GF's parents are backing her up, we are both feeling somewhat beleaguered.

Good to know that MN backs us up - that really does help!

OP posts:

Lynda07 · 27/03/2020 01:27

Stick to your guns, StungEgg, you are in the right.

runninguphills · 27/03/2020 04:52

She's very needy! If she cannot cope with a short amount of distancing then maybe it's a good idea that the relationship can't survive it. She doesnt sound like the ideal mother of your future grandchildren...

Lockdownshockdown · 27/03/2020 05:33

GF's father has offered to come and pick him up, and as he is a key worker he is allowed to be driving around.

I am sure key workers aren't just allowed to drive wherever they want whenever they want. Especially, with someone in the car, that doesnt live with him.

They are being ridiculous. I also dont like the examples on here of people trying to emotionally manipulate people, into spreading the virus.

Summersunandoranges · 27/03/2020 05:52

I’d be talking to him about what this proves about her and her parents character and morals and are they people he wants to be involved in.

I’d also talk to him about the police doing road side checks on people making unnecessary journeys.

We’re in a national crisis and she and her parents are quite happy to put his health at risk, they are clearly not staying away from people, they could be full of the virus.

I’d also ring her parents and tell them to stop putting your son at risk.

JustVisiting9 · 27/03/2020 05:55

He should ask the GF if he can go to stay with the family for two weeks. The reason he should give for the change of heart is that everyone else in your household is showing CV symptoms. I am sure they will not be so keen to see him then!

What kind of 'key worker' is the dad?

Branster · 27/03/2020 07:03

My children are in a similar situation but they and their girl/boyfriends got with the programme straightaway. I was very impressed with their maturity. But I really do feel very sorry for them.
You are absolutely right OP, households cannot mix even if they were from the same family. Simple rule to understand.

Grandmi · 27/03/2020 07:15

You are definitely doing the right thing . Stick to your guns and I would definitely contact her stupid family and explain the rules in the most simplest of ways!! They are obviously struggling with understanding the seriousness of the situation ..good luck .

Grandmi · 27/03/2020 07:17

Everything that summersunandoranges said !

Kiln · 27/03/2020 07:40

I think this pandemic really shows the mindset of some people, fundamentally your son's gf and her family are not respecting your son's decision. This could be about sex, taking drugs or the decision to have children....anything. Your son has said no, given reasonable explanations and is still being pressured. If her family are encouraging her and actively participating then I don't think you'll see the end of this bullying behaviour and it won't just be limited to this scenario! Congratulations OP for raising a strong minded person with good morals!

Gammeldragz · 27/03/2020 07:43

My DS(13) and his GF missed their 1 year anniversary due to this, her family were on Lockdown early in as her sister is vulnerable. They chat online daily and seem happy enough with that (they are both very laid back!). I do feel for them though, it's going to be a long time.

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