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Original poster

I think i'd like DH to quit his job, is this overkill?

31 replies

Roostersmum2 · 25/03/2020 20:32

I wanted to gather some perspective before I raise it with DH. I'm prepared to be told I'm being ridiculous of course and if that is the majority vote then I'll put it to bed.

I'm in the vulnerable category and am fortunate enough to be able to work from home for the foreseeable. DH cannot work from home as he works hands-on in a busy London supermarket. We have children, one of which is also in the vulnerable category.

He's off at the moment as I've had something that may have been covid but probably isn't. I don't have the signature symptoms so I'm not going to become complacent and assume I'm now immune. I'm still extremely worried about the pandemic for all of us.

Had he not been in a public facing role which puts him at high risk of catching this then of course I wouldn't be entertaining the thought.

He's due to return to work on 2nd April and I've been wondering whether it's safer for the family that he doesn't and I was contemplating raising the possibility of him quitting his job, if he would consider it.

We can survive on my income for a few months, it'll be tighter than we're used to but not impossible. After rent we will have approx £800 for the month and I know many have to survive on less. We are sensible with money and could budget accordingly.

My rationale is that it won't be difficult for him to find another job when things have settled down and he wouldn't be throwing away years of career progression. He's well aware that he's just a number to the boss and he doesn't feel as though he's treat with respect or valued at the best of times.

He might not agree, in which case fair enough I guess, but AIBU to raise the possibility?

OP posts:
NailsNeedDoing · 25/03/2020 20:33

Yanbu to raise it as a discussion, but you’d have to let him make the decision and then respect it.

Lifeisabeach09 · 25/03/2020 20:34

YANBU.
You have to do what's best for you and your family--no one else will. But can he switch to stacking at nights?

SFCA · 25/03/2020 20:36

YANBU

Our children our in the vulnerable category. We are very lucky that DH can WFH, if he hadn’t been able to he would have quit and we would have managed. Sometimes things are more important.

InDubiousBattle · 25/03/2020 20:44

I think your and your child's vulnerability make a big difference and YANBU. Since my kids left school last Friday I have only been within a few feet of two people I don't live with, a pharmacist and the cashier at Aldi and I bet I'm nowhere near alone in that- they're being put at risk.

Original poster
Roostersmum2 · 25/03/2020 20:49

He currently works nights, 10pm until 10am. The shop closes to the public at midnight but he still has to work among them for two hours before closing and then for three hours in the morning.

I asked him last week what measures they were taking to protect the staff and at that point there were none in place, I'm not sure about now (he has been off for 5 days)

I'm well aware he has to handle baskets, crates, produce etc that will have been handled by 100's of others. It's a very big supermarket.

A senior member of staff is also off due to a family member displaying symotoms and ive heard from DH that another member of floor staff requested the 14 day isolation period due to her daughter having symptoms and was told "no" she cannot stay off. There seems to be a lax attitude to safeguarding and it being one rule for one and another for others.

OP posts:
RedDiamond · 25/03/2020 20:51

My rationale is that it won't be difficult for him to find another job

I hope that is the case. I personally think, when this is all over, we will have mass unemployment because so many businesses are going to go under. There could be very many people chasing one vacancy.

I can understand your wanting him close and safe especially with the vulnerability in your household.

Lifeisabeach09 · 25/03/2020 20:52

Ah, ok.
Speak to him and see if he'll quit then.
Flowers

Glitterpearl · 25/03/2020 20:53

My DH works in non-essential manufacturing and he has been home unpaid since yesterday. His employers have no intention of closing and both DH and I have underlying health issues and two kids we don't want to put at risk. We couldn't see the point in us all self-isolating if he was potentially bringing it home. It will be a real stretch for us to cope without his wage but some things are just more important. We are hoping that the govt will step in but for now we seem to have no recourse.

YANBU to raise it with your DH.

Original poster
Roostersmum2 · 25/03/2020 21:05

Thank you for the replies, I was half expecting to be told I'm being dramatic

I'm not even sure he would be happy to do it but I'm bracing myself to raise it and will see how the conversation pans out. I'll be approaching it from the angle of minimising the risk to myself and vulnerable DC (though needless to say I'm worried about all of us)

He is somebody who likes to work and doesn't like to be sat indoors but these are unprecedented times and we all have to make sacrifices for the greater good.

I will respect his decision if it is an outright no and in that case will then have to explore other ways of taking extra precautions

OP posts:
Original poster
Roostersmum2 · 25/03/2020 21:15

i personally think, when this is all over, we will have mass unemployment because so many businesses are going to go under. There could be very many people chasing one vacancy

Yes actually you to raise a valid point which I didn't consider, that will need to be taken into consideration

OP posts:
gigi556 · 25/03/2020 21:16

Check out money saving experts advice on the government assistance 80% wage furlough thing. He could ask (they don't have to oblige) if they would consider furloughing him due to his circumstances at home. YANBU to want him to quit.

Mamamia456 · 25/03/2020 21:16

Tesco are letting vulnerable employees take 12 weeks leave with full pay. I know someone who is vulnerable and her husband works at Tesco and he is allowed to take what is known as a lifestyle break. It is for 12 weeks although as he is not vulnerable it is unpaid. I don't know if other supermarkets do the same thing but it would be worth looking in to.

Original poster
Roostersmum2 · 25/03/2020 21:23

It would be great if his boss would agree to either of the above definitely. I'll raise those options with him when I bring it up.

I have a feeling he (the boss) won't be accommodating though, he has form for being an arse.

Add into the mix the fact that DH is currently following the gov advice of 2 weeks off if a family member is unwell, I have a cynical view that the boss will think he's taking the Mick to ask for additional leniency

OP posts:
foobio · 25/03/2020 21:24

Could you ask for unpaid parental leave instead, so that he still has a job at the end of it all? www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement

Moonlite · 25/03/2020 21:27

Your health is your wealth. YANBU

Mamamia456 · 25/03/2020 21:28

If it's company policy that employees can have a lifestyle break, his boss will have to agree to it.

Original poster
Roostersmum2 · 25/03/2020 21:31

I'll be asking him to look into all of the suggestions given thank you Smile

I'm not sure about lifestyle breaks at that company but DH will know. I'm going to broach it tomorrow over dinner

OP posts:
Insideout99 · 25/03/2020 21:32

Yes I'd also see if he can leave for parental leave to cover childcare. At least he'll have a job to go back to.

His employer sounds shit and he needs to look for a new job when this start to resume to normal

Snufflesdog · 25/03/2020 21:34

All the supermarkets are hiring.
Could he ask around and see if another would have him - but just on the overnight restocking shifts?
They’re literally taking anyone and everyone on, he may not have to quit but may be able to make the situation safer for you all?

Original poster
Roostersmum2 · 25/03/2020 21:36

A quick Google search shows that his company is one that offers extended leave so that's positive.

Will he have to go through the night manager who looks after the night staff or can he go above him and speak to the store manager? The night manager is quite unreasonable, he's not approachable in general and that is the gist felt among the majority of DH's colleagues on nights

OP posts:
Whatevernext1 · 25/03/2020 21:44

I really feel your pain. I've started a similar thread myself this afternoon but it's myself considering resigning.
I believe there should be a scheme for us supposed 'key workers' where we can volunteer to either carry on at work or stay in the safe bubble of home during this time. Plenty of workers in my supermarket I know would be happy to work and those of us who would rather stay at home could. Maybe pay the staff who volunteer could perhaps get double pay or another incentive and let the rest of us claim the 80% from the government. I know this would never happen but I wish it would! Working in a supermarket is truly horrendous during this time.
I hope yourself and dh make the right choice for your family and keep above all else keep safe.

oohnicevase · 25/03/2020 21:45

My company is offering unpaid absence .. that's what I've done .. not a chance I'm going to work at the moment .

Mumsie43 · 25/03/2020 21:59

We all have to return to work eventually and that is unnerving for many of us in public facing jobs.
Does the supermarket have higher hygiene in place like sanitiser around the stores and cleaning more regularly?
I would be cautious about quitting a job while we all wait out the lockdown
With a low income it will surely become a new stress after weeks you both need to discuss it. Is he generally ok in his job or is it a mountain of issues?
I would look for another job while being secure for now knowing a income is in place much the same as for myself, many work place do not treat the workers respectfully.
Get your husband to improve sanitising the workplace and his own care, he can wear disposable gloves while in the environment.

Original poster
Roostersmum2 · 26/03/2020 11:42

Hi all,

Well I mentioned it this morning over breakfast, he hasn't said he's considering it yet but he'll be thinking about it and he hasn't said no either.

He did echo what I thought about his night manager probably being unhelpful because he's already taken the 14 days isolation for me being unwell.

I've made my pitch anyhow so I'll see how he feels by the weekend and ask if he's given it any more thought.

Whatevernext, I feel for you and others in the same position. If it were me I would definitely opt out if it was financially doable. Supermarket workers really are over exposed Sad

OP posts:
Greenbutterlfy566 · 26/03/2020 15:34

It's difficult isn't it