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Original poster

Grandparent to have our 8 month old for Key worker?

23 replies

Allie06 · 25/03/2020 13:10

Hi everyone. I'm a nurse in theater and my partner is a senior cremations technician. We are both key workers. I am due to go back to work on the 16th of April part time following my maternity leave. My daughter is 8 months old and the plan was that her grandmother on my partners side (his mum) was going to watch her. She is not high risk and is 58 years old. Unfortunately, she also cares for her mother in her household who is in her late 70s. She says she is now dubious whether she could have my daughter for when I return to work due to risking her mum and the legislation about grandparents not being able to care for children at present. Does anyone know if my daughter would be okay to go to her grandmother's? Or would this be irresponsible at present. Putting my daughter into a nursery of some sort is not an option as I feel I don't want to risk her health. Struggling to think how I'm going to be able to go back to work now as I want to help. But I don't want to risk any of my family's health. I have no other relatives that could watch our daughter. Any help would be aprreciated thanks xx

OP posts:
Oakmaiden · 25/03/2020 13:13

Sadly, her grandmother should not be caring for her at this time. If you feel you cannot risk nursery, you could maybe look into childminders? Or trying to schedule shifts so you and your dh work at different times (I appreciate this is often far easier said than done).

It is shit.

yatapina · 25/03/2020 13:14

I'd delay your return to work if possible tbh - yes, you're a key worker but your daughter needs someone to look after her.

I wouldn't put her in the same environment as your DH's Gran is high risk I assume based on your MIL caring for her?

Theyrecomingtotakemeawayhaha · 25/03/2020 13:23

M afraid that since there is a 70 yr old in the house it would be unwise for you daughter to go .
Your daughter would be better in nursery and is no more at risk there than being cared for by you.You will be needed especially if you work in theatre.
Nothings ideal but your DD is low risk and you know you're needed but in the end the decision had to be right for you.

SilverySurfer · 25/03/2020 13:28

Not if your DM lives with a person who could be vulnerable.

NotEverythingIsBlackandwhite · 25/03/2020 13:28

Did you not understand the rules? You are not allowed to mix with other households.

Original poster
Allie06 · 25/03/2020 13:33

Oakmaiden your comment 'it is shit' made me chuckle. It certainly is shit. Yeah we could possibly work around each other. And I could do a weekend shift. However, depending on how severe the situation gets he could go onto shift work too. So it would be a big mess about but doable if it came to this.
Yatipina I'm unsure if I would be allowed to do that? Also I feel I want to help and I'd be ashamed if I didn't. Don't know what to do. But like you have said and I do agree. I shouldn't be risking my daughter at such a young age and risking a vulnerable person.

I don't know what to say to work? Any advice lol I emailed my manager/debuty and HR (inclusive email) Sunday about any changes about my return on the 16th and I've had no reply yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
Allie06 · 25/03/2020 13:35

Not everythings black and white. Of course I understand the rules. That's why I'm concerned. God knows x

OP posts:
Spied · 25/03/2020 13:36

I'd be doing my very best to sort out arranging shifts so I can take turns with my partner looking after DD.
OR
I'd be postponing work tbh.
Yes you are an important keyworker- but you're also mum to an 8m.o.

Do not send to Grandparents.

Original poster
Allie06 · 25/03/2020 13:38

Also like to say I am new to ye role as a theatre nurse too. I started this role newly qualified and pregnant. So worked 2 months before maternity leave. I worked within the same hosiptal Trust as a HCA and transferred when qualified. So don't have a full understanding of the role just yet x

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 25/03/2020 13:40

I think you both need to discuss things with your managers. I would like to think they’d rather work out a schedule with you both able to work and care for your dd than one of them lose you completely.

Original poster
Allie06 · 25/03/2020 13:41

No I won't be sending to grandparents. I wouldn't be comfortable with that anyway. It's going to have to be a work around with my partner then. However I was just thinking maybe the rules in grandparents looking after children would be relaxed in the position of a key worker. Thanks for all your replies. They have been very valuable. There is no helpline for all of this. Hope you all are keeping safe x

OP posts:
justasking111 · 25/03/2020 13:45

God laughs at plans.

You need to find alternative childcare sadly.

pinkazing · 25/03/2020 13:52

It’s not about relaxing the rules it’s about keeping them safe, I know not ideal, but do you need to work, could you take some parental leave?

Really12345 · 25/03/2020 13:53

Childminders can still take key worker children and many are desperate for work. She may be the only child there and so would not be at risk. Your local council should have a list of the ones still open

MinesAPintOfTea · 25/03/2020 13:53

If you have more than two weeks, can you strictly self-isolate, then your daughter go to your mum's and you don't see her until this is over or you find a better alternative?

Can you hire a nanny?

Original poster
Allie06 · 25/03/2020 13:59

Can't go more than a couple of nights without my daughter. Its going to have to be a work around. Best I can do.. Can't afford a nanny or to pay for nursery. X

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Original poster
Allie06 · 25/03/2020 14:04

She's too cute ❤️

Grandparent to have our 8 month old for Key worker?
OP posts:
RB68 · 25/03/2020 14:12

if it was just the grandparent there would be no issue - no health problems and only 58 BUT it is great granny that is the issue here.

Cornettoninja · 25/03/2020 14:18

@Allie06 - she is very cute Grin

Childminder is a great suggestion, it’s still riskier than keeping your household self contained but most of them already work to restrictions in numbers due to ages so not half as much risk.

It wouldn’t hurt to have a ring round and see if there is anyone available who you gel with.

DBML · 25/03/2020 14:18

Aww, she’s cute!

Original poster
Allie06 · 25/03/2020 14:19

The mother in law said she would keep them seperate. Don't think that is allowed? Also my child will be with me and her father that could potentially get infected by going to work and then my child could potentially give it to her grandma who could give it to her grandmother. Best to keep seperate. X

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Original poster
Allie06 · 25/03/2020 14:22

Don't know if I want my child being looked after anyone but family just yet. Not till she's at least 2.. But in these pressing times we have to make compromises. However, the same thing applies to the child minders and the children she is looking after also. We can't guarantee that the children she would be around are following strict isolation rules. I've decide it will have to be a work around. X

OP posts:
Original poster
Allie06 · 25/03/2020 14:23

Thanks. Cant believe I made something so adorable 😍

OP posts:
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