Any else struggling entertaining an Only?

[BertieDrapper]

My DD is 4, due to start school in September.

Today is day 14 of isolation.

I'm struggling with having to entertain her all day long on my own. Anything I set up holds her attention for all 20 minutes.

I've tried doing letter and number writing work sheets as given by the childminder, but she just refuses to do anything like that with me.

She rarely plays by herself, but will occasionally. I take what I get.

Everyone on SM seem to be posting about doing all these amazing activities and how lovely this time is to create memories with them...she's too young to do most of them or isn't interested.

My DH is great with her but he is WFH, very long hours with no break so we are on our own.

Please tell me others are finding it just as hard?

I'm losing patience with her constantly.

I’ll join! I’ve a dd exactly the same age who is utterly resistant to my attempts to teach her anything! She positively laps it up at preschool and for anyone else but apparently thinks me and her dad are chumps and not to be trusted

Even pop up pirates is a bust - she gets it out to play then wants me to just do it all while she dicks about somewhere else.

So far we’ve managed to make a robot out of a cardboard box and done some digging and tidying in the garden. Future plans include making an assault course in the garden, a box fortress if we end up with enough, (more) baking if we can get hold of supplies and some planting if I can get hold of some seeds although I need to look up which vegetables regrow after cutting for cooking. After that I’m a bit out of ideas!

Dd is so sociable too, she doesn’t stop talking from the moment she wakes till she passes out - it’s slowly grinding me down - especially as her imaginary friends always seem to get involved and I’m expected to talk to them too.

I'm also worried the lack of socialising will negatively impact DS. He's only 18 months but loves to chat and say hello to people so it's very difficult at the moment.
3 months of it seems like hell to be honest

once she’s at school she’ll need to focus and complete activities before she’s allowed to go and free play. It’s good practice now, at school she won’t be able to refuse

I disagree. Plenty of time for boring work sheets when she's at school and she'll conform because her peers will be doing them.

I've always struggled with parenting - the relentlessness of it and I try not to recent the lack of my own time, space

God I empathise, OP!

Does she like messy play? Dressing up? Stories?

It's really tough isn't it ?! I have a nearly 4 year old who is an early riser too! So we're back from our morning walk by 9😂.
I asked him this what he wants to do today and he just said play with mummy. So I've given up trying to do all these activities that I feel I should do and stop with all the pressure.

And I wouldn't worry about lack of socialising having a long term impact. Children are social animals - they won't unlearn that in this time period.

especially as her imaginary friends always seem to get involved and I’m expected to talk to them too

you'll miss them when she outgrows them!

DD is nearly 6, she goes out in the garden and can hear other kids playing with their siblings, it's a bit sad. Usually she has school plus a lot of extra curriculars plus visiting various friends with children ranging from babies to teens at the weekend. I really hope this doesn't last too long.

I'm in the same boat, DS is 3 and a half and starts school in September, too.

But I'm working from home and trying to entertain him at the same time. He's already cried twice today because I can't play with him, due to the fact that I have to be available on the phone as I take calls with the public.

This is only day 2 and I'm so stressed. My partner should be here too but his work are being inflexible so I am also extremely annoyed. He has the ability to work from home but his boss is being a dick about it.

she goes out in the garden and can hear other kids playing with their siblings, it's a bit sad

Yeah that makes me sad for my dd too.

@MatildeHidalgo maybe, judging by what dd says they’re saying they’re massive dicks who I have to keep telling off

Hadn't thought I'd get so many replies to be honest.

DD wanted me to play in her room, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I don't know why I resist it sooo much.

I don't mind playing something next to her, like bricks, magnets, crafts etc but playing pretend is just so..... arhhhhh

And to top it off, I've started coughing! On day 14 of isolation!!!!!!!!!!!

DD wanted me to play in her room, I just couldn't bring myself to do it

Honestly, it's fine not to do certain things with your DD if you're ok doing others and "pretend" can be particularly tiresome.

Can your DH really not help? Give you a complete break at lunchtime. Take some time off in the morning or afternoon then catch up whilst DD is in bed.

@Cornettoninja DD is a teenager now so maybe I'm remembering the imaginary friends through the happy haze of years!

I think the basic problem is allowing ourselves to feel obliged to 'entertain' and our children and fostering our grandchildren's assumption that we are obliged to entertain them!

We're parenting, we're setting an example and we're teaching a bit, but we are not the entertainment! I'm coping by teaching some new practical skills that instantly ease some of the demands. Yesterday it was tying shoelaces, today it was putting her own dish and spoon in the dishwasher etc. Anything she is capable of doing for herself, I've been teaching her how. Apart from that, I've been following her fascinations, like a geography lesson to look at where the coins a well-travelled friend gave her came from. Self-esteem is soaring and she is proving a real help from time to time. It helps that she can read and write, but even a very young child can learn to fold teatowels and pick up their toys.

Thankfully there's a garden where I helped her set up an exercise circuit, and the weather has been good! Playing age-appropriate games with children gets old very quickly, doesn't it?!

I've always struggled with parenting - the relentlessness of it and I try not to recent the lack of my own time, space

Me too, I feel so guilty for not enjoying this time but I'm just fed up with being a toddler's bitch 24/7. It's utterly relentless and very hard to keep on top of the house, laundry etc. DS is 2.5 and can't be left to his own devices unless I stick him on front of a screen.

You know, I’m on a WhatsApp group with friends, two of us have only children, the rest have two. We’re all trying to work from home as well.
Everyone is finding it hard, regardless of the number of children.

Those with two are finding it hard as they don’t always want to do the same activities as each other and have very different schoolwork. They also seem to be squabbling more as they’re stuck together more.

I worry about dd feeling lonely. They worry about siblings ending up hating each other and accusing parents of favouritism. They worry about actually having a favourite. They worry about work (at least dp and I can do a relay).
Different problems but still problems.

I don’t know anyone who is finding it easy (you’re lucky you have countryside you can go to, dd and I haven’t left the house in 3 days).

Just do the best you can, it’s not forever.

Just had an emotional break down.

DH came down for a break - asked how long he had, was surprised when he said an hour. He played with DD for a few minutes, I got emotional cos I've felt so shit so took myself off to my room so DD didn't see.

DH found me, told him how I couldn't do this all the time by myself. I just can't. He asked me what I wanted him to do... the answer is pretty obvious really, but he's so busy that getting him to be able to take a proper lunch break and actually finish work at 5 is out of the question. He's been WFH for over 2 weeks and we haven't eaten together once, he hasn't been able to put DD to bed or do her bath.

I get it. He is busy. We are lucky he has a job, I know there are People in worse positions but I am unbelievably frustrated.

10 minutes later his boss calls and he is back at work.

So much for an hour.

I hate feeling this way. I know he would rather be with us then stuck doing the hours he is doing. I know it's not his fault but I still cannot help being resentful.

I have an only, he’s four but in reception (well, supposedly).

We have been in SI for a week and a half now, he has actually been okay, but that’s only because my boyfriend is here so he is keeping him fairly well entertained while I work. Boyfriend gets his day time break when I have my lunch.

Parenting really doesn’t come naturally to me (son is from an in family adoption), some people seem to know what to do, how to interact well with young children.

It does seem to be more of a natural thing for my boyfriend, but then he has nice normal parents, so that’s probably a lot of it. My son loves him too, so I’m currently hiding in my bedroom to do something ‘important’ for half an hour.

@BertieDrapper
I totally understand you’re frustration....it’s similar in our house too. DH is up to his eyes in it and whilst I’m eternally grateful that he is still earning money and all that jazz, I’m emotional and frightened and tired and bored and lonely and frazzled and a zillion other things besides. I miss work, I miss using my brain and I’m quite jealous that he gets to keep doing all those things, whilst I’m expected to morph in to the stepford wife that I never really wanted to be!!
But we WILL get there. We just will. We have to.
I was feeling so low earlier; and had a big cry and basically a toddler tantrum (!!!!) and ranted and raved about how pissed off I am. And then I read something on line written by a nurse on the front line of the NHS who is having to work in intolerable conditions, and leave her babies at home, hardly see them, and live in fear of the risk that she is contaminating them with this bastard virus when she does....don’t get me wrong, it didn’t fix all my problems but it certainly gave me a new perspective and one that I plan to try and carry through with me in to tomorrow.
Feel free to keep in touch for moral support if you need to, we all need to take our support from the unlikeliest or sources at the moment I think xxx

he hasn't been able to put DD to bed or do her bath

He's a parent and he needs to step up. He can tell his boss you're ill and that he needs to look after DD for part of the day.

I get why he does what he does. I worked in the same industry and it's very difficult to just log off at home time when the shit has hit the fan. The financial markets have been in free fall because of COVID. It's bad so means his work is very busy. There is nothing he can do.
He is the sole earner.

I was made redundant.
Had two interviews lined up this week but obvs they have been cancelled till further notice!

@Hartleyhare1206

Thank you. It's nice to know I'm not in this boat alone! And I do need to get some perspective.
There are days I can get on with it but then days I can't! X

@BertieDrapper and that’s ok. None of us asked to be put in this position and none of us really know what we are doing; I think everyone is winging it and having shit days. Those that brag they are loving it and looking forward to spending all this quality time with their kids are probably lying, and have locked their kids in the shed and hit the vodka by 11am 😁😁

Just wanted to see how everyone was doing??

Seems like ages ago I started this thread. We've been indoors for about 5 weeks now and although I have mostly resigned myself to it I still have moments where I feel like the worst parent ever.

Do the words "play with me" send chills down anyone else's spine???? 😫

She's started wetting herself again recently - I read recently that stress can make kids regress!!!
Either way she had been warned any more accidents then her iPad would be taken away. She then wet herself on the kitchen floor this morning - I'm not sure if the removal of the iPad was a punishment to her or me, to be honest!

On a more positive note, she was allocated our first choice of school yesterday!!
Role on September!!!

Struggling a bit here! She is having lots of angry outbursts and I think it's because she can't go out and burn off her energy. Roll on September when she starts school too

@Wrigleys123 it's so hard for them isn't it.
DD just wants someone to play with, she misses her best friend so much.