Working from Home + Homeschooling = I'm going insane

[ginting]

It is currently day 8 (she was off school early as she had a minor cough) of working from home whilst simultaneously trying to home educate my six year old, and I'm not sure how much more I can take.

I am expected to continue to work my contractual 40 hours a week or else treat any additional time off as holiday. However, I don't have enough annual leave left to do this and I just can't work the 40 hours. My daughter is continually demanding my attention and I find it incredibly difficult to attention switch between her and my work. When it gets to the evenings I just can't face doing more work as I am already too exhausted from having been trying to do two jobs for the whole day.

I think it is unlikely that I would get furloughed, as there are parts of my job that nobody else would be able to do, at least in the current circumstances, although obviously being furloughed is the dream. My career is very important to me and really is just getting started, and I have never wanted to be the stay at home type. I don't know what to do. I already have mental health problems and am very susceptible to stress and I just can't continue like this, it's too much.

Advice? Tips?

I am also a single parent so there is nobody else available to help me out.

I’m about to come out of mat leave and start anew job. I’m thinking of asking to go part time (20 hours a week) until nurseries reopen. Would that work for you?

She needs some structure

Set up a time table

Look at online sites

Some PE with Joe on you tube 9am for a work out
Hit the button - maths half an hour on times tables
Snack - get a basket and give her a choice
Outside play for some much needed sunshine
Audio books - pick a classic for her to listen too
Lunch - spend this together making lunch and eating and chatting

Afternoons - and hour on the iPad or tv
Self reading

Set up evenings so Tuesday is games night
Thursday is cards
Friday is bath and reading

Give her some sense of normality

When you say you are home schooling your child, what are you doing with her? If you are trying to actively teach her anything I would give up on that completely. Stress to her, that you need to do one hour of work and she can play with her Lego/barbies/whatever. Then 15 minutes of time together and use it for real one to one, lots of attention as a reward for playing nicely. Then screen time for an hour, while you get on. Etc. Would that help, breaking it in to more manageable chunks?

I’d give up on the schooling part, if you have guilt about not doing it, you can always catch up at the weekend, the day that you do the work is unimportant.
I’m not concerned about schoolwork, they will catch up next term when they go back.

The BBC are also setting up 1 hour education slots on tv - watch out for them

Also David Walliams is releasing a story a day on audio.

Do you have to clock on and be available at set times? Just think if it’s flexible it might be possible to do 4 sets of 2 hours, eg 6-8am while she’s asleep/watching something/eating, 11-1, 4-6 and then 2 after bedtime? Give her a lot of attention between those times so that you’re not constantly battling between 2 sets of demands? Also school wise don’t worry too much!

The homeschooling isn't mandatory and one dominant school of thought holds that it's actually damaging to turn the comfort of parents into the regime of teaching at this very stressful time.

I'm going to have mine do some worksheets, but largely treat it like an early summer hols and do some ad hoc life teaching e.g. here's how to cook pasta, what's that flower called, count the pinecones on a walk etc.

Please do ignore the "perfect lifers" on FB. It's Day 2. They'll be on the Gin and screeching out the window by tomorrow.

Proud of Son & Homeschooling
My Son is working from home & is into his second week now . He works for a National Water Company .( ensuring that the work gets done )
He is separated from my GC Mamma who is also working during this time as she works for Royal Mail ( keeping our Post Going )They share Custody .
He is working from home & maintaining Home Schooling . Which I appreciate is not easily maintained. His work from home means he is on the telephone 90% of his time .
Thankfully GC 10 & 7 are very good .
They have a White board , with a schedule for Reading Time, Maths & Breaks in the Garden & Lunch included i.My Son has a Conference call at 9am & 30 mins when they arrive is time for them together before work starts . They have Wednesdays with Mamma as that is her Day off .
I was really concerned about the balance of this but Week 1 anyway he has it cracked . I am rightly proud of him .

Honestly... just don't try!

This is stressful enough for us all and stress impacts our physical and mental health (sadly I know this as now have a chronic condition that is directly related).

If you have a very self reliant and compliant child great that you have all this work for them them to do (I have one of these).

If you have a child who needs lots of input it is much harder (I also have one of these too with ASD and ADHD... completely different needs).

Lower your standards, try and give focused attention for maybe 15 mins ever hour and then carry on working.

Above all, try to reduce your stress.

Well that's nice your proud of him soul but the situation is not really analogous in terms of age etc and family set up so I don't that is really helpful to the OP

gin - I have a front line NHS worker DH and 3 under 6 and am struggling so can't imagine what this is like for you

I think it's absolutely fine to give yourself permission for a couple of weeks or longer just to focus on your own work. If that means loads of TV time, so be it. If you can encourage your DD to go out into the garden if available that would be good for fresh air etc

I am seriously worried about the mental health impact on parents and children of all this. Keeping yourself together so you can work and parent is of prime importance. Fuck teaching

@Souldancediva

That’s great but I doubt it helps the Op very much...

Op what kind of structure are you setting, it sounds like you possibly need more but with less “school” type work...

Can you set up a chart of activities with relevant baskets/boxes for each one ideas...

decorate ready made (shop bought) iced biscuits.

Craft activities make rainbows out of different colour tissue paper, make if easy with a stick of clue and ready cut small pieces.

Big lid or tray, measuring with water, set simple instructions (print a sheet of the internet) same with flour and scales set, my girls would sit for ages when they were 6 measuring and weighing amounts using different ladles, tubs and bowls...(try not to get to hung up at the mess!)

Remember YouTube, social media platforms and the BBC are your friend atm, lots of different free tutorials, lessons, virtual dance/gym classes, all screen rules are off in this house atm and I’m normally huge on limited tablet time.

Disney +. Don't worry about school work. Honestly (I was a teacher for a long time), it will be fine.

My dd is similar. She's 7 and has ASD. After Monday I felt like I'd worked 2 weeks straight trying to balance her endless questions and my working.

We have a 5yr old and we are not homeschooling right now, we are however keeping her busy and getting her to do the very minimal worksheets given out by school.

Day looks typically like this.

9am - joe wick or cosmic kids yoga on YouTube
9.30am - school worksheets
11 - lunch
12 free play/home activities

DD knows that we are working, that she can talk to us or ask us questions but that we need to keep working.

We have an A3 piece of paper stuck on the wall with a list of ideas she can do herself, like crafts, beads, playdough, teddy bear picnic, playing in the garden and if she says she's bored or doesn't know what to do we go through those till she finds one she likes.

I take an hour in the afternoon to do an activity with her, DH does 7-3 so takes her for a walk at 3pm.

I catch up my hour in the evening after she's in bed.

Will have to try some of these things out, thanks guys.

My daughter is actually very good and more than happy to get on with worksheets, but she gets frustrated if I won't help her if she gets stuck and just generally it is so hard to focus with a child in the house, watching TV, asking questions, wanting snack after snack after snack. It's a very small flat and even if I wasn't the only adult here I think I would still struggle.

Hopefully this is all over relatively soon and schools at least can re-open. The working from home in itself is pretty great and I'm in no hurry to get back to the office!