So sad and stressed

[Beatricekiddo27]

I'm really struggling. And we're still only at the beginning.

I'm having major issues with my dc dad who is still wanting contact and ignoring the potential risks of being between houses. I had a very abusive relationship with him that took me a long time and lots of counselling to get over. After years of relative calm between us all the debates and rows are taking me back to the place I was when we were together which was stressed, anxious on edge, threatened.

I'm totally worried sick about my kids and family. I have elderly relatives who I can't see. Both parents are key workers and exposed to people on a daily basis. I'm trying to avoid the news because the statistics just terrify me daily.

And now dp and I have fallen out. I've been difficult I know that. It's because of the stress and worry. But rather than accept my apology or talk he's just being cold and moody which is creating a terrible atmosphere that we're all stuck in for the foreseeable.

I barely slept last night and have woken up today and am already in tears. Can't even escape anywhere. Am working from home so can't focus on anything else fully like reading or films to distract myself.

I know everyone is in the same boat and some people are suffering a hundred times worse than me but I think I just need an unmumsnetty hug this morning and to hear that things will be ok

Big unmumsnetty hugs, and you're very welcome to them.

These times are so hard.

Hard in ways I hadn't even thought of to be honest. I thought I'd struggle with the routine but so far the dc have been fine and it's been quite nice spending time with them.

Didn't expect to have to confront a lot of old demons with my ex or have my current dp being such a pain though...

I'm having major issues with my dc dad who is still wanting contact and ignoring the potential risks of being between houses.
The government are allowing children to swap between parents homes so clearly they don't accept it as behaviour that is too risky. Try not to worry too much. People are at far more risk from your children than the children are from others. That is why schools closed - to protect others from the children.

Following the government rules should afford you a good level of protection.

It doesn't sound like your DP is being as nice as he could be but it can be really difficult when someone around you is worrying and stressing excessively. You do have to be aware that your negativity and stress can drag your DP down too.

What kind of coping strategies do you normally take to keep your worry and stress under control?
Trying not to follow the news incessantly will help. Perhaps just watch the news at the end of the day just in case additional measures are introduced.

@NotEverythingIsBlackandwhite thank you for that reply :)

This is where my ex and I are disagreeing - he is interpreting the government guidelines one way (ie it's fine for them to go) and I'm seeing it as they can go but it's not ideal unless totally necessary and still carries a risk of transmission. In my eyes it's not worth the risk just so they can go there for a couple of days then come home. But I understand that's easy for me to say when they are here with me. The problem is my ex is quite a bully and relentless when we get into a debate. He becomes very aggressive and personal calling me stupid and so on. It's just not necessary at the moment.

Current dp and I are just winding each other up due to the situation. I will admit I've been a cow. But I don't think he fully grasps my worry with the kids - he's never had any of his own.

Although I suffer with anxiety it's usually manageable and doesn't prevent me from sleeping. I think with the rows yesterday it all just got a bit on top of me. I want to try and get outdoors later (somewhere isolated obviously), set dc off on a more productive timetable as yesterday was mostly spent on iPads and maybe get some house jobs done around home working. maybe keeping busy is the key to reducing stress. I used to meditate but haven't felt like it lately even though now is probably the best time...

Be kind to yourself.

It's very difficult when old triggers are being activated.

I hope you can get some isolated outdoor time; it helps.

Thanks all, had a bath and washed my hair. Feel better already!