My day to day has changed drastically and Dh can carry on as normal

[Elephantonascooter]

And I'm really fucked off about it.

I work 30hrs a week and 18mo DS goes to nursery. Dh works in a no where near essential role making items for an industry that's currently closed.
Had to force dh to self isolate when the 14 days for households with a cough came in as DS had been poorly for a week.
I'm trying to wfh with a toddler, am taking annual leave to reduce the hours I need to make up and am giving up my evenings and weekends to make sure the money keeps coming in.
During the day, I'm trying to entertain DS in a flat with no outside space and of course, DS loves being outside and we usually are out all the time.
So while my life has change drastically, trying to conference call my team in the day and work up hours in the evenings, dh is swanning around at work, normal hours, not a care for social distancing, as if nothing was going on. No idea why his work are still open to be honest but I'm in no control of that.
He's made no enquiries into reducing hours (unpaid) to help with DS and is just annoyed because his work are cutting costs by not supplying lunch anymore.
This morning, he suggested I take DS to see friends who we know have self isolated. He just doesn't seem to get it.

Am I the only person who is changing everything they do while their other half/other parent carries on with their day to day? And expects a clean, tidy house when they get back because "you've been home all day"?

I'm trying to wfh with a toddler, am taking annual leave to reduce the hours I need to make up and am giving up my evenings and weekends to make sure the money keeps coming in.

Who is looking after your toddler evenings and weekends if not your dh?

Sending support OP.
My situation isn’t so bad, in that I don’t work a 9-5, but I’ve ha to wrap up my business and now I’m at home full time with 2 kids under 6. We aren’t going outside for exercise because of my own fears so spending a lot of time inside or running around the garden.
DH now works from home, but he is up in the ‘office’ from 8am and working until late (last night conference call at 8pm). As a result I’m doing the bulk of childcare alone.
It’s taking time to adjust. My kids are high energy. I’m feel a bit depressed, scared and sad to be honest, but trying to put on a brave face.
My advice would be to cut yourself some slack. You are keeping it together! Ask him to help more. Carve out the times that he will help, even if it’s doing breakfast before work and bed after (if possible). Ask him to put a request to work for early start or finish / one day a week / whatever you agree and try and restore the balance.

I would tell him he needs to find somewhere else to live if he is behaving like this. If he gets the virus and passes it to your DS, if your DS needs ICU care, your baby will be taken into hospital alone. You will not be able to visit.

Nobody would notcie if he went missing, they would think he is self isolating.
😂

All communication with your employer regarding flexible working and the fact your ds has chest problems should be done by email. The same for your DH requesting to go part time/take parental leave etc. Neither will want written evidence that they may have disregarded government advice.

Could he reduce and/or change his hours to give you more of a chance? Eg if he worked 7-2 and was home by 3 to look after DC, then you you could work 3-8?

This sounds like my husband. He keeps texting me from his work (he works and stays away from home a lot and his job is of a key worker) asking me 'what are you and the kids up to tomorrow? Hope you've had a great day!'

Show him this thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3860306-this-is-our-reality-please-stay-inside-nurse

Written by a MNetter working in the NHS - this is the reality of Covid-19. If he still insists on going to his non-essential job after reading it, I'd divorce him when this is all over, frankly.

My DH's life is still pretty normal. He goes to work (essential service) & comes home. He exercises in the garage (weights, bike on turbo trainer etc) & rarely goes out anyway.

I'm a sahm to 3 DC (11, 9 & 7) so have been sorting through & printing work sent by teachers (harder than it sounds) & keeping them entertained. I was just in the early stages of working from home but have postponed that. I'm out nearly everyday normally so other than shopping I've stayed in. I'm very glad the weather's been good as the DC are using the garden more & giving each other space when it's needed.

I miss taking the dogs to the beach & woods with my DMum or friend. I miss chatting daily to one school Mum.

I'm in a very fortunate position that I'm able to stay home & not work & so far our finances are stable but I miss real life.

Dh tells me to do it all in the evenings but if I did that I wouldn't have any down time. I'd either be entertaining DS or working constantly.

I appreciate that this is not ideal, but plenty of us manage this as a regular thing, so you might have to try and adjust to it for the time being as it sounds like you cannot rely on your husband to step up and help. However, I think it would be fair to ask your husband to do the housework in the evenings while you work, so that you at least have that off your plate - if he's insisting on going to work and leaving you with two full-time jobs, then he needs to pick up the slack and accept that the house is his responsibility too.

I’m so sorry you have no garden and therefore (I assume) no patio.

...To bury him under.

No patio unfortunately otherwise I'd be digging this morning.
Am looking longingly out the window to the local, suddenly very quiet, park. I'm not sure disposing of a body counts as essential travel though...