Anyone else living with adult who’s not following guidelines?

[Namechange5468]

Anyone else in this situation? Partner, child, stranger, dog?!

I live in house with one other woman, she’s been out twice already today, no hand washing on return. Went to her partners last night and came back this morning.

I don’t know her well, previously when I’ve asked her if she’d mind doing washing up/cleaning etc it has NOT gone well, so I don’t want to rock the boat when I’m potentially trapped here. I was planning on moving out next month too!

Wtf do I do? How are you dealing with this? It’s a rented property so I guess I could speak to the LL, but feel like he won’t want to get involved 😬

Anyone?!

She is totally unreasonable

I know but how can I deal with this?

It's SO stressful as I feel like I shouldn't go out as I've likely picked it up from her agh. It's the not knowing I can't cope with!

What can the landlord do? She isn’t breaking any tenancy rules and they aren’t her mother so can’t put her on the naughty step.

If she’s not the kind of person you can talk too then I don’t think there is anything you can do other than keeping up the hand washing .

You could put a a scarf over your mouth when she’s around to make a point......

Anywhere else you can stay to wait this out?
Alternatively, tell her you have developed some symptoms and hope she moves out!
Seriously, keep well away from her and wipe down most commonly touched things like door handles, toilet flush, light switches etc.
Invest in some disposable gloves and make a point of wearing these when you're in communal spaces.
Cough a lot when she's around!

@Namechange5468 :
You will have to get arsey with her for your own safety.
When she comes back after being out, if no handwashing is happening, you must tell her to wash her hands, for both your sakes.

Thanks for the replies!

Update: she has just left with her partner to stay with her mum in a different city, not sure how they're getting there as she doesn't have a car. I genuinely don't think she comprehends how serious this is, she's 40 so her mum must be 60-70. On her way out (I was on a conference call otherwise at this point would have actually spoken to her!) I heard her say on the phone she plans to be back at our flat on monday

I am SO stressed I can't even explain, I am scared for my own safety (I'm not in an at risk group but anxiety is rising), but also for the others who live in our apartment block as I don't know what underlying issues they might have. It makes me scared to go out to get food as I'm potentially acting as a vector.

@Wingedharpy if absolutely desperate, I could return to my parents home in London. I REALLY don't want to make this journey (would need to take train to london, then underground) and my parents are both >60, so will be potentially putting a lot of people at risk.

AGH

I plan to message her saying something like "Hey x, heard you leaving this morning, I just wanted to confirm you won't be coming back for the rest of the lockdown?"

Realistically, if she says says she's coming back, is there anything I can do?

And this is why the government is placing stricter regulations. She sounds like a selfish bint. Hope she does not return for your sake. While she is away can you print up signs for your stairwell? Contact your neighbours to find out if anyone is at risk (just put a not through) and include information on the posters that there are people living there at high risk. Keep mentioning to her about how sick of washing your hands you are and cleaning " but it's really scary isn't it and we all need to do what we can - right?" offer to do a rota for shopping "so we can take turns to minimise contact and keep safe"
Do it all with kindness. It works better than confrontation. Come on with solutions - ask her how you can help and it possibly might be better received (if she returns)

I’d be tempted to keep her locked out because she’s being a dick. But obviously that wouldn’t be legal I don’t think. I’d just be cleaning more which is shit because you shouldn’t have to but it’s all I can think of to keep yourself safe. Stay in your room, but a mini fridge for essentials and keep them in there. Fuck it, I’d buy a kettle and keep some cups in there too lol. She’s being a dirty bitch and is old enough to know better.

Don't go to London!!!

You will have to confront her about this.

It's interesting that you say "I'm not in an at risk group.....", when the reality is, we're ALL in an at risk group, though some are at potentially greater risk than others.
I know what you meant and am not getting at you but the issue is, she is thinking along those same lines too, though she's clearly, more gung-ho about the whole thing.
She thinks, "I'm not in the dangerous age group, it won't affect me, I shall carry on as normal".

If/when she comes back on Monday, speak to her about it and tell her your concerns.
Tell her you have underlying medical issues which make this situation risky for you (whether you do or not!).
It's people like her that will escalate the current restrictions to the next level.

I wouldn't be surprised if she and her partner get "trapped" at her mother's as come Monday, there's a good chance that no-one will be allowed out.
(Her Mother is as bad, allowing her and her partner to stay!).

Good luck.

Update: I got no response to the message I sent her, but this morning I was woken up by a furious banging on the door (was half asleep!) and then her coming in- she clearly thought I'd locked her out when she just wasn't opening the door properly

She is now avoiding me but has sent me a message saying she is "deciding what to do". I have genuinely never met anyone so selfish in my entire life!

I was not in a good state this morning (I can't confront her as she gets so angry, especially around things like hygiene) so spoke to police via 101 and my landlord. Both very sympathetic but nothing they can do right now.

Op you're on a horrible situation. She is totally dreadful. Stupid or selfish or both. Sorry you're having to deal.

Should add- I normally have no prob calmly discussing things and not usually a panicker, but it's the idea I might be potentially trapped with this person, while severely ill that is completely freaking me out. She's still avoiding me and has spent the morning on the phone talking about how bad COVID is, I just don't understand!!

I sent her a copied message which just states all the guidelines and that I was really worried about my health along with everyone else in the apartment block (there's about 10 flats), and she replied saying "I am aware", "Of course I wash my hands" (when she clearly DOES NOT, the flat is tiny so I'd definitely hear it).

@Wingedharpy Yes we are definitely all at risk! I think subconsciously I'm just clinging to the idea that as I'm 29 and have no chronic issues I may have it an be completely asymptomatic (I think I would completely spiral otherwise).

I was ready to make the journey to london this morning, but just can't put my parents and everyone else at risk.

Update: flatmate still "deciding what to do" and is "aware of the situation".

Been out god knows where all morning.

I have contacted my landlord and letting agency, both of who said there isn't anything they can do. I have never felt so alone or depressed, I feel like I'm being irresponsible by allowing this to happen.

I've quarantined myself as I think I have to assume I may have been exposed to it at this point.

God she sounds like a twat. Really doesn't sound like there is much you can do other than avoid her and the shared spaces in the flat. I wouldn't normally advocate such things but could you fake a cough when using the shared area? It might make her want to leave?