My ex and access

[Dexter3780]

Morning - help please!!

I live separate from my ex of over 2 years, we have a six year old son. I am now in isolation with my son, I’m working from home and my son is off school. My ex see’s my son on a Monday and Wednesday for tea and overnight for sleepover on a Friday. He is still working, his girlfriend is still working I am not okay with the exposure so have said this morning if he won’t stop wanting to see my son then my son will have to live with him for the foreseeable further as I am not okay playing roulette with my life. I would rather not see my son for 3 weeks or months rather than possibly never see him again. Please don’t misunderstand, my only reason for doing this is because I can’t argue with my ex over axes and won’t use my son as a game! Generally my ex uses any excuse to have a go at me so I feel I have no other choice to protect myself and my son.
Can people advise what they are doing or what the law is on this, can I stop the access/should I stop the access what should I do?

Access can carry on by law

So your ok putting your child at risk but not yourself?

Surely your son would be better staying with you? Particularly if your ex and ex girlfriend are still out and about working. My DD will be staying with me - I’m unsure about seeing her dad - maybe FaceTime? Boris said you should not be seeing family and friends who don’t live in your household. But DD’s dad is not bothered anyway (never ever has her overnight - his choice )

Surely your son should stay with you?

My ex is still working, visiting people’s homes(it is essential). Ex lives with gp’s who are vulnerable so no visits there.

I’ll need to tell ex he cannot see ds unless he goes into lockdown himself. There’s absolutely no point in me and ds complying with lockdown(which we absolutely will be doing) if I then allow his dad(who is potentially visiting lots of homes) to come take him.

If he was complying with lockdown and lived on his own then it would be different. I’m expecting all levels of abuse and manipulation because he thinks his own narcissistic wishes and needs trump that of a global pandemic and the need to safeguard ds.
I can see the reasoning behind allowing access to continue IF both homes are in lockdown, in our case it defies common sense to allow access

no i am not okay with it but the manipulation and upset both my Son and me at what is already an upsetting time is unmanageable already just at the suggestion of not seeing his son. I feel i have no other option.