Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Am I allowed to go for JUST a drive?

121 replies

Teaandtoastforbreakfast29 · 24/03/2020 06:49

Apologies in advance for adding another thread to the 4729859 already.
I'm just looking for clarification.
My little boy is 3, diagnosed ASD. He hasn't napped in bed in over a year. He doesn't even nap much but sometimes falls asleep in the car. Does that mean I can't even take him for a drive to let him sleep for 20 minutes? Some days he's up at 5am and does need a quick doze to tide him over. He's also non verbal and has global development delay so wouldn't understand if I explain to him.

It would literally be quick drive in the car, not stopping or going anywhere, seeing anyone etc. I'm just wondering. If I can't, I can't but what would you do in this situation?

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 24/03/2020 08:20

Thank god you can drive to exercise. I am disabled. I cannot walk to the park and I certainly cannot just walk up and down my road in case I get ill / collapse. No pavements and very uneven surface add to a very heightened trip danger. Dr Hillary really doesn’t get disability.

So please people stop telling those, who don’t get it how to live their lives.

ArriettyJones · 24/03/2020 08:21

Sorry. Missed a word. I mean I hope it isn’t too hard for you both.

Mummyoflittledragon · 24/03/2020 08:21

Oops I forgot to say op. Drive as a last resort maybe?

vegas888 · 24/03/2020 08:27

So if people are saying you can drive to a park then surely we are going to see repeat scenes of what we had at the weekend. 🙄

AmelieTaylor · 24/03/2020 08:27

I do understand his difficulties, honestly.

But given he doesn’t nap at a fixed point every day, I’d try to just push through without a nap, but then try with different options if he really needs a nap, like the buggy or TV etc.

But if he was beside himself needing a nap I’d put him in the car & take him for a drive. I really do think it counts under medical needs for a child with difficulties.

HoneyBee03 · 24/03/2020 08:35

I would have thought that going out for a drive is totally fine. You're going from your house, into your car, then back into your house.

chocolatviennois · 24/03/2020 08:40

I think it would be a good time to break a bad habit as so bad for the environment to be driving twenty minutes in the car regularly for your child to nap. My son did not have asd but was an absolute handful at three and I did my best to continue his nap as long as possible having just had baby number 2. However I think maybe your son could now get into a new routine... maybe not have the nap but go to bed earlier...at the current time I would not feel guilty about letting him watch a screen at the time he would usually have napped.

IceBearRocks · 24/03/2020 08:40

Toast.... We have two ASD boys in opposite ends of the spectrum neither sleep. The worst one is the severe boy. We stopped all napping and just encouraged sleep in normal hours.
Otherwise they'll end up flipping day and night and this is very difficult to overturn. Believe me .....
Ours was awake at 2am ..... hes had kids tube in bed with a video monitor and a high sided bed. We will get him up at 9am if hes finally fallen asleep.
Keeping normal circadian rhythm.

I do feel your pain....weve not slept for 12 years ......

cdtaylornats · 24/03/2020 08:41

Combine it with going to buy food.

Original poster
Teaandtoastforbreakfast29 · 24/03/2020 08:43

I'm genuinely not taken any of offense to posts. It's a fraught time for everyone.

Whether it's because I've had to grow a thicker skin recently, I don't know but I'm not bothered about some of the replies. Everyone has their thoughts/opinions.

He gets plenty of fresh air and exercise - we have a big garden, trampoline, slide, climbing frame etc. Plus he uses my sofa like a soft play area 😂

We'll adapt. I'll probably be dependent on alcohol by the time this is up though Grin

I'll attempt the stroller later if he needs it. Thank you everyone.

OP posts:
Bathroom12345 · 24/03/2020 08:43

My older DS works in a supermarket. He is coming and going. Supermarket should ban cash, people putting their loyalty card in their MOUTH and taking the WHOLE family out. One family, Mum, Dad and two kids needed to come out because kids were bored and Mum didn’t drive. One women complained that the bin outside was overflowing and another that the staff should wipe down the shopping trollies after every use. I am teaching younger son to drive and I am still planning to go out. There is a full tank of petrol. Won’t be leaving the car.

What is being done to stop people going to parks. It will be ‘it’s not me it’s everyone else’.

We live rurally and when we walk our dog we rarely see anyone. I used to live in London so can understand the crowding. I saw the pictures from the tube earlier and it looked rammed. My DS friend works in a call centre. They have been told it’s too complex to work from home so they need to come in. If they don’t they will lose their jobs and others will be given there role. Lots of people looking for jobs like that....

Lots of retailers and construction are open. Sports Direct, cycle shops, delivery drivers for supermarket etc. It honestly Doesn’t feel that different from yesterday.

Original poster
Teaandtoastforbreakfast29 · 24/03/2020 08:47

@chocolatviennois

We don't usually just go for a drive. It's just the current circumstances. Like I said, some days he gets up at 5am, is a very busy child and doesn't sit still. We usually go to the park, soft play, additional needs groups (before all of this, obviously) and would sometimes fall asleep on the journey. I'm just musing on what to do in this current situation.

OP posts:
Bathroom12345 · 24/03/2020 08:53

I agree with a pp. If you can drive to say Richmond Park then surely what happened last week will happen every day now. People will point to others and say they should leave because they have xx reasons why THEY need to be given priority.

Close the parks?

danni0509 · 24/03/2020 08:56

@Teaandtoastforbreakfast29 I have an autistic / adhd child myself and being in the house with him is a form of torture.

I have a very small back garden and have spent most of the day out there yesterday, was absolute hell.

We are in the same predicament. I harness him into his car seat and drive the streets for hours usually to pass the time. I do this often.

The thought of that being taken away Sad

fodderbeet · 24/03/2020 08:58

I would have thought that going out for a drive is totally fine. You're going from your house, into your car, then back into your house.

Then your thinking is wrong. Aimless driving is unnecessary. If people aren't clever enough to stay home, you will be forced to stay home. Take the chance to walk, run, cycle while it's still there.

It's not about how save YOU are, it's about working together and keeping everyone save.

ArriettyJones · 24/03/2020 08:59

I agree with a pp. If you can drive to say Richmond Park then surely what happened last week will happen every day now. People will point to others and say they should leave because they have xx reasons why THEY need to be given priority.

Driving laps, dodging cyclists and waving at the deer is different from parking, exiting the vehicles and breathing at each other.

Which happened last weekend?

fodderbeet · 24/03/2020 09:00

bloody safe, bloody phone

lemonsandlimes123 · 24/03/2020 09:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fruitsaladjelly · 24/03/2020 09:00

This is caregiving. Do it. We must remember these measures are not designed to stop infection completely but to slow the infection rate, that’s why they are moderate. I say this as someone whose lungs are being minced by covid -19 right now. Life must go on to some extent, offering a child comfort and rest is important, going to the beach for a family bbq is not.

ArriettyJones · 24/03/2020 09:04

FFS - The VIRUS does not care if you are disbabled, it does not care about reasonable adjustments, it does not care about people 'really struggling' without exercise. The rule is STAY HOME unless ESSENTIAL.

Yes, I can see that angle.

OTOH, we’ve also been repeatedly told by the Chief Medical Adviser that leaving the house for brief periods is important for our MH.

So there’s a conflict there. I said upthread I don’t know what the “right” answer is.

Any chance at all you could stop shouting and swearing and discuss this civilly?

So much rudeness on this thread.

ArriettyJones · 24/03/2020 09:05

@danni0509 Flowers

porpoisey · 24/03/2020 09:06

I would do it. If people can drive to the shops I don't see why you can't do this. People are being unnecessarily hardline about this .

Flaxmeadow · 24/03/2020 09:08

Why do people think just because they are in a car that the rules dont apply to them?

No you cannot just drive around.

lemonsandlimes123 · 24/03/2020 09:10

Arrietty - the reason for the shouting and wearing is because people like you seem to think that following the very clear rules is an 'angle'. There is no conflict the rules are very clear the OP going for a drive does not comply with them. As with all rules they will disproportionately impact on some people, in this circumstance we don't change the rules or make 'reasonable adjustments' as we normally would because this isn't normality. It is really not difficult to understand.

Bathroom12345 · 24/03/2020 09:10

Fodder. Are you talking about the environmental issue of driving? Parks will be rammed again. Everyone will be saying that they are out for exercise, playing on the swings because kids will get bored etc. Just wait until Easter!

We live rurally so there are plenty of secret places you can go to where you dont see anyone else.

They are talking about putting on more tubes!