Funeral on Friday

[MrsFruitcake]

It's my dear MILs funeral on Friday. It's going ahead and I know the rules state that people may attend but would you, and would you take DC? Mine are 16 and 12.

Eldest child has terrible anxiety at the moment and we've had lots of tears last night. She's thinking what I'm thinking about this I suspect.

I want to support DH but I don't know what to do.

What are the directions of the church/crematorium? Are they advising max numbers?
Could someone look after the kids and you go to support your husband?

It's my Mums funeral next month, initially I was angry and upset at the thought that no one would attend and it would be just me.... Now I've realised I've got to get over myself.

I don’t think I would go. Could there be a memorial service later? This is especially to you speckledhen as it is hard knowing that you may be the only one, even though others are missing her too?

my uncles yesterday was just attended by his kids and live streamed to others. With a memorial service to follow when can.

Guidelines in my area will be four people plus celebrant only. Who else is there as close family?

It’s awful, pretty much everything in life can be postponed but funerals have to happen and people will be so distraught.

I definitely think I’d leave the kids unfortunately. 💐

At our crem, they're currently only allowing a maximum of 9 people (including the priest / celebrant), so the decision may be taken out of your hands.
If it were me, I'd just have a very basic service at the crem (or church if a burial) with key family members only, and then a separate memorial service later on when times allow.
We had a separate memorial service for my DDad after his small funeral, and it was lovely to celebrate his life separately. It was especially easier for the children who could just concentrate on hearing how lovely their Grandpa was without being scared by having a coffin there etc.

@OldSpeclkledHen just wanted to send you a big hug. Don’t be hard on yourself xxxx

I have a funeral on Monday, at the moment the crematorium says max 25 people.

Funerals are still permitted but I don't think I will be going. It is my Uncle, my Mum's brother and he had no partner or children. My Mum has had to organise the whole thing and we are his only family. It's in London though which is normally a two hour drive away.

I would likely have to travel with my parents who live in a different household but it would be straight there, service and straight back again.

I'm actually surprised Boris did not put more restrictions on funerals as they often have many elderly attend. At the moment I can't see myself attending.

Mrs I probably wouldn't take the kids to be honest especially if they are becoming anxious. These circumstances are far from normal and it's terribly upsetting for Dh but if it's causing distress then he should probably go on his own.

Sorry you are dealing with this at the moment Mrs and Old. 💐

I'd contact the crematorium/church to see what restrictions they have, if any. If they don't have restrictions I would make a judgement based on the size of the crem/church. How many people does it usually hold? How many could it hold if people are seated with their household members only with 2 metres between them and only occupying every fourth time of pews?

I went to my cousin's funeral just after Christmas. It was in a small crematorium, that could probably only hold about 60 people.
I went to my dear Mum's funeral 2 weeks ago and the crematorium probably holds a few hundred people.
So, at one you could easily hold a service where you segregate people from each other, while at the other you would have to limit attendee numbers to do so.

OP, you don't say what you are thinking so I am assuming your DD doesn't want to go. If that is so, can you not leave your DC at home and go and support your DH? 16 and 12 year old are old enough to be left at home.