Dropping child to nanny?

[Childcarehelp]

Hi, I’ve been dropping our pre-schooler to our nanny at home so she doesn’t need to travel to our house by bus. Under the new measures do you think I can keep doing this? She’s not going out and neither are we (apart from food shopping or to walk in the park in line with guidance). So effectively each of our family units is isolated apart from my one DC going there. No older or vulnerable people around either family and, as I said, we’re not interacting with anyone else.

I’m happy to accept we need to stop this. No need for the rude and offensive posts, it doesn’t help anyone.

I also don’t think it’s the end of the world if she is watching tv for a couple of hours a day. As long as she is getting a couple of hours afterwards of proper time with one of you. Unfortunately I think that’s just the way it’s got to be and I think you need to think yourself lucky your preschooler will watch tv at all. I know several dc in this age bracket who won’t watch at all, not even for a couple of minutes. Parents are just going to have to muddle through, however hard it is.

Let her watch tv all day then if that's what's required. These are extraordinary times.

I'm sick of these people who think the rules don't apply to them.

You're the reason why we have this lockdown in the first place.

Actually I'm not. I've been fully compliant with the rules every since the initial ones came in. I am querying this latest announcement as it is a huge change to what I thought might work as a long term arrangement.

I'm sick of people who don't know how to talk to someone in a reasonable manner and be understanding of the fact that we are all facing huge sudden change and coming to terms with it.

There haven’t been “rules”. There have been guidelines. And people like you have flouted them. Looking for loopholes and ways to continue as they want to.

"I'm sick of people who don't know how to talk to someone in a reasonable manner and be understanding of the fact that we are all facing huge sudden change and coming to terms with it."

I have an underlying health condition and I am living in fear of catching this virus.

In the circumstances I was very reasonable indeed towards someone who is engaging in unnecessary social contact. My preferred option would have been four letter words.

You aren't coming to terms with anything. You're planning to continue as normal and to hell with the rest of us.

Wolfiefan I haven’t flouted any ‘guidelines’ but you can think what you want

Look, this is what DH and I are doing with the blessing of work:

Me; 0500 - 1200
Him; 1200 - 1900

We have had lots of crying for daddy but they “get” that daddy is doing “special work” and the addition of a stair gate helps too. The consistency of the message has to be clear and a tantalising alternative given instead (Lego, snack time, looking for fairies in the garden, 9 episodes of Bing in a row).

Our children are now on 4-5 hours total telly time a day approx. 1-2 in the morning, 1-2 over lunch, and another hour across the last part of the day.

I’ve had to HAD TO suspend my inner judgey face and just go the fuck with it.

No childcare is now the standard for the vast majority of the UK and you and your bosses need to wrap your heads round that.

I will type the same thing again and again but this IS do-able.

You have not given enough detail to confirm that what was happening was illegal, as you do not say which country you are in or how many hours care was provided, but if I assume you are in England or Wales and it was for more than 2 hours, then it's been illegal since 1948. Scotland and Northern Ireland will be similar but the legislation could be a little different.

So this evenings announcement makes no difference. What you are trying to do is still illegal under Childcare Act. Your nanny should never have cared for your child at their home, that is childminding and is a regulated activity.

Laws exist to protect children. New legislation is coming out daily now to give Government the power to stop us going about most of our previous normal life. Old legislation has not been relaxed, it still applies.

Sucking I was asking a question not ‘planning to continue as usual’. Perhaps you would have preferred that I didn’t come on here to seek input from others? I certainly won’t make that mistake again.

FYI I had already concluded we would stop going. But I’m sure this won’t stop the spiteful comments.

A bit of TV won’t kill her... COVID-19 has killed thousands and will kill thousands more...

Thanks PaulH, I appreciate that.

It is not spiteful to not want you ignoring all advice and maybe killing one of us or our loved ones.
Stay home.
DH gets a grip and stops your child interrupting your work.
It’s simple.

You are sick of the way people talk. You don't want people in this board to speak harshly, but in my view reasonably, to you.

All about you. You cannot do your work. Are you a HCP? Do you work in a food shop? Do you empty bins? Are you driving food shopping?

I'm going to guess, and say the answers are no.

Get over yourself, look after your child, get your husband to do the same.

If the two of you can fit work into the cracks inbetween these things, do it. Otherwise, suck it up. This is life in 2020

I think either you top and tail care and she hopefully adjusts or you agree with your employer to take some sort of leave.

It’s really bloody hard though as many employers are like ‘work from home...for the same or more hours...at the same efficiency’ they’re not helping people get it right.

That’s a good idea another pp had. My colleague does that in his house.
ie Say goodbye to dc. Slam front door. Sneak up to back bedroom/spare room and lock self in to work in peace. Reverse this when you ‘come home from work’
If your child is very young. If not they will get used to being told dad or mum is having to work just now etc. Just like when you tell them ‘you can’t have another sweetie’. Ignore the hissy fit that follows.

Remember about an hour ago you heard a message? It was quite clear. Stay home. And no that doesn’t mean dropping your child at someone else’s house.

I couldn’t agree more @BacklashStarts but right now workers have more right than ever to say “I have kids, the nation is worth out childcare, we are following guidance, my hours will be [insert here] due to domestic commitments, any problems let’s talk on the other side”.

*without

without childcare

@Childcarehelp

I explained that you are putting me and people like me at risk.

And this is spiteful???

How spoilt and entitled. Aren't I terrible for invading your safe space.

@user1471453601 Quite right.

I think the advice to stop the nanny is completely right, it is a hit but there are people taking similar or worse hits all over the country - but think that the slating here is horrible.

Not all of us have understanding employers, many of us have more work to do than ever, and we are fully aware that while @PaulHollywoodsSexGut is totally right and it should be a good chance to have a conversation about flexibility, for many of us it will further reinforce to bosses that childfree workers are best. There will be mass redundancies to come, and those of us who stayed home and were significantly less effective while juggling childcare and work are going to be first in line. People are worried, and it makes us all make bad decisions, but she came on here to ask the question, and noone learns best by being sworn at.

FYI, for all the judgy and unpleasant posters on this thread, my nanny payroll company has looked into this and confirmed our arrangement is fine and in-keeping with current restrictions. No doubt you have also since seen the clarifications from Gove confirming that anyone who cannot work from home can continue to travel to work (in our case we were travelling to our nanny to prevent her picking up or spreading germs on her journey and thereby keeping us and wider society safe).

We are choosing not to continue for the time-being in any case, but please do in future think twice before trying to knock someone down for asking a perfectly valid question.

If your nanny is at home and not in contact with others then it's fine