Is this essential travel?

[incrediblehux]

Thinking ahead a few weeks when the world will no doubt be a very different place still, but...

I'm due to give birth in early May. I have a 21 month old girl who will need looking after while I am in hospital. I would obviously like my husband to be with me in hospital, especially since this is a complicated pregnancy (with a 99% chance of the baby having a chromosomal abnormality).

Would it be essential travel for my mum and dad (not over 70 or with any underlying health issues) to travel 1.5 hours to look after my daughter while I give birth? Or should I expect to be going to hospital alone while my husband looks after her?

I appreciate trying to predict what things will be like in a few weeks' time is impossible. I'm just asking for views based on the current advice.

Following as im interested as to the answer

I’m thinking about this too. As things stand I think as long as they self isolate afterwards it would probably be fine but if it is on lockdown I don’t know what the criteria will be.

Are people expected to give birth alone in other countries on lockdown, does anyone know?

Could they travel down now before restrictions are in place and stay with you?

I think that counts as essential. Nothing whatever to base this on btw but surely lots of people will be having babies in the coming months. My daughter in law amongst them. They also have a three year old that will need to be looked after while she is in labour at least.

In NY some maternity wards are now forbidding any visitors including birthing partners, due to risk of infection. It's very unfortunate but important to ensure they have enough staff to keep obstetric services going and not to infect vulnerable newborns and pregnant mothers.

Personally I'd make preparations both ways, keep in touch with your midwife and be ready to enact plan a and plan b until the last minute...

Interesting. SD due shortly. We live about 30 mins away. They have a toddler.

Myfriendanxiety alas no, because my SIL is giving birth this week and they are effectively treating themselves as part of that household for the time being so they can support them.

Thanks for the comments so far.

Other countries have stopped birth partners :-(

I think you should prepare yourself for going it alone.
Grandparents shouldn't really be coming to stay.

I have a friend in Ireland who wasnt allowed to bring her husband to her 20 week scan. There is a good probability that by the time you give birth DH wont be allowed into the hospital.

I also think you need to mentally prep for being at the hospital alone whilst he’s at home looking after the child. Yes, it’s hard on you emotionally but that doesn’t make it essential travel for your parents. Especially as you have another adult in your household.

I can’t speak on maternity wards, but hospitals in my area have already stopped visitation, or at A&E only the patient is allowed in the waiting area - anyone else would be told to leave.

Seconding everyone saying that I’d prepare to be alone. Probably because DH isn’t allowed in rather than because your parents can’t get to you, but it’s possible that they wouldn’t be allowed to make the journey if we’re in lockdown then.

I hope things go as well as possible, all the best

Oh wow do people really think it might come to that? Birthing alone?

Thanks all.

Yes I agree that being without my husband may just be the reality in six weeks' time. If that's the case there is obviously no choice to be made and I, like everyone else, will just have to suck it up.

I'm just thinking if there is a choice, and potentially a grey area, as there is now, would it be better to leave my toddler with grandparents, local friends or would neither be acceptable? But probably not even worth thinking about. I forget I'm pregnant most days at the moment with the craziness going on.

I am very sorry you are in this position. Try not to worry or get scared but think about it pragmatically. Who knows what the situation in the hospitals will be by then, heaven forbid UK gets into the same mess as Italy? If so you'll have to be very thankful for any hospital bed to give birth and be prepared to be sent home immediately after if no complications. This is a worry for so many people. Have you considered home birth?

To reassure you, I went to hospital alone at 530am in a taxi and gave birth. Dh came about 4 hours later by which time baby was born. Midwives were wonderful.

Can you all self isolate in the two weeks prior? Can they travel with their own car?

The thought of labouring alone is terrifying, sends me into panic attacks, if they say no birthing partners then despite being high risk (shoulder dystocia, retained placenta and haemorrhage last time) I would stay for home birth. I can’t do it without my husband I just cant

kittykat, you wouldn't be giving birth alone, you'd have at least one midwife with you and a doctor to hand if necessary. There's no reason to suppose you will have the same difficulties this time around.

However I would go for a home birth every time if it's possible. Much nicer.

I’d say prepare to give birth just with midwife etc.

I don’t necessarily think it’s non-essential but I wouldn’t want grandparents etc to be travelling during this period. I assume they are older.

Well I'm definitely preparing for doing it alone now. Would love to have a home birth but when your baby has Down Syndrome you have to be in labour ward, and goodness knows how long I'll have to stay in for tests etc without us seeing anyone at all or my husband meeting his child.

If we make it out alive I'll consider it a success.

Panicking about this too @kittykat7210 I had those same issues as you. I can’t imagine DH not being there 😭

I’ve read somewhere they are discouraging home births as they can’t guarantee there will be midwives to attend.

If birthing partners are banned by the time you go into labour, one positive is that at least your hospital is trying to protect your baby from contracting COVID-19, by completely minimising unnecessary people in the hospital. It’s very hard for you but there’s a sliver lining at least.

Lynda it’s the midwives/doctors that are the reason I’m so worried about birthing alone, so much went wrong that may have been prevented had those doctors/midwives listened to me instead of forcing me to labour on my back, forced me to have an epidural and stopped me pushing for at least 4 hours after I was 10cm dilated. We have a clear plan and my husband would speak for me if I was in a situation where I was unable/otherwise engaged to speak up for myself! If I’m alone I’m worried I will get into the same position I was in last time, unable to voice my concerns and needs (I have bad anxiety)