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Thread for parents struggling with their mental health

25 replies

BlueMoon1103 · 22/03/2020 21:43

This is a thread for parents who are struggling with their mental health right now. I thought we could use this space to support each other, show some kindness and vent whenever we need to.

I’m a single parents whose mental health has declined very quickly and would love to speak to others in the same position.

OP posts:
Dinosauratemydaffodils · 22/03/2020 22:03

I'm struggling. Due previous trauma, being trapped at home is essentially my worst nightmare. I have symptoms and am self isolating (along with my young kids and dh). The thought of a lockdown because of the behaviour of others is making me terrified, angry and resentful in equal measure.

I'd finally started to feel in control, had 3 holidays planned this year and an idea of what I wanted to do with the rest of my life and now I want to scream with frustration at the fact that's all unravelling taking my mental health with it. I'm not sleeping properly, although the cough/chest pain isn't helping. I can't exercise because I get breathless if I exert myself so no more running til I can't run anymore, my normal release method. I don't seem to be able to distract myself either although I'm trying. Ds wants to learn about South America this coming week so I've made a schedule up for him including cooking, art projects, geography, history and languages. Hasn't helped though.

I'm trying to think positively but the voices in my head telling me how worthless, stupid and ugly I am are back, louder than ever.

bigmamama · 22/03/2020 22:18

I was on op previous thread . Iv joined on.
I was just about to submit a request for my anti depressants online to find that I need a review first. I'm now worried about getting a review and then a new prescription in the next few days as I really do need my medication, I have a 3yo (4 next month) and a 8 month old with a husband who is a key worker, my mum has just lost her job (albeit temporarily) and a nan that has to self isolate for 12 weeks. I'm really struggling x

Thripp · 22/03/2020 22:29

Thank you, Bluemoon, for the link via the other thread.

I left abusive XH five years ago. He wasn't abusive to me, but was abusive to the DC (arguably worse). It has taken me some years to get to a state of equilibrium after intervention from the crisis team, antidepressants, counselling, etc.

The things that have helped me are:

RL friends, hugs, conversation.

Work, and having an income.

Physical exercise.

My new partner, who was my best friend for many years before my divorce (though he is also difficult, so he is not entirely a positive thing).

Having some space into which I can withdraw when I need to recharge.

I now have none of these.

I can't see friends, as everyone is socially distanced/self-isolating. And there is such opprobrium directed at anyone who doesn't, that it's impossible not to.

I now have no job (can't WFH - self employed in a sector which has dried up completely), and have no income at all. However, I don't qualify for benefits. So am living on thin air.

Can't exercise due to a back injury brought on by too much exercise (!)

Partner is socially distancing a long way away. So I can't touch him or feel him, while he is enjoying himself with his work friends in London.

I can't withdraw when I need to, as my teenagers are now at home full time (both supposed to be doing public exams). There is no break at all from them, as they too are supposed to be socially distancing themselves from their friends. Our house is minuscule.

If this isn't over soon, I have no idea how I will cope. I am not sure I will.

Hippofrog · 23/03/2020 06:35

I’m going to be watching this, day one today of trying to wfh and teach my dcs. I know we are in this for the long haul and still believe we will be distancing at Christmas. I’ll feel better when I’ve got through today ..... then tomorrow etc etc etc ........

BlueMoon1103 · 23/03/2020 06:49

I’m really glad you’re all here! This is a safe space to say whatever you need to, no judgement Flowers

I’m a single mum so a one year old who ha struggled with anxiety since my teens and in my early twenties the depression crept in too. I’m also suspected although not diagnosed (not got that far yet) as having autism. I had PND after having my son and was just starting to get back to ‘me’ when this happened. Now I’m going back down and I can feel it. There’s nothing I can do until this is over because the only things that help, my coping strategies, are being taken away from me. No one has thought about how this will affect mental health and just being told to find a hobby (when?! I’ve got a baby), relax/meditate (doesn’t work for me anyway and I’VE GOT A BABY) or use this role to develop a new skill/ ‘grow’/become more resilient (helpful Hmm) is making me feel worse. Like the problem is me not trying hard enough.

OP posts:
bigmamama · 23/03/2020 10:33

I think I'm just going to stick to this one thread. I literally can't cope with everyone especially on here saying they think this is going to last 12-18 months etc. In my own head iv written off April and I'm just hoping by may thinks will start to improve, I have to think that for my own sanity. Thank god I don't have Facebook! Woke up feeling very scared this morning x

BlueMoon1103 · 23/03/2020 13:00

I feel scared too 😔 and very frustrated.

OP posts:
Thripp · 23/03/2020 21:09

This announcement has, unfortunately, done it for me.

I said that Corona would kill people for reasons other than viral infection, and I was right.

bigmamama · 24/03/2020 05:18

Can't sleep I'm so worried and anxious. Il be up soon with the baby too.
I'm worried about my mum who lives alone, I don't want her to be by herself but she won't come and stay with me.
God this is all horrendous

Hippofrog · 24/03/2020 06:35

Hope you are all doing ok, I didn’t sleep last night. Full of worry

MadamePewter · 24/03/2020 06:40

Can I join too? I am very very anxious and a single parent. After loads of difficult things happening in my life I suffer from ptsd and like a pp have made myself again after dragging myself up. I have routines and activities I do and now can’t. It’s hard to explain to people without sounding very selfish. But I also feel weirdly responsible for and worried about everything! Aaargh!

SimonJT · 24/03/2020 06:46

Lloyds have failed to deliver my prescription for four working days now. We’re SI so I can’t go out and collect. I have four more days of insulin so I’m not hugely worried about that, but my anti D’s and anti anxiety meds ran out on Sunday. I’m out of melatonin, but I’ve ordered some from an online pharmacy.

BlueMoon1103 · 24/03/2020 08:14

Of course you can join @MadamePewter.

Sorry to hear the pharmacy are being crap @SimonJT!

I’ve woken up feel panicky and quite angry this morning.

OP posts:
MadamePewter · 24/03/2020 08:20

@BlueMoon1103 thanks.

I too. I feel a little better after reading an actual positive thread about all this just now! Now going to avoid all news for the foreseeable and have come off Twitter. More coffee then homeschool

ThelmaDinkley · 24/03/2020 11:49

Hi, can I join. I suffer from anxiety and depression and I feel like I’m losing my mind. Constantly worrying about my widowed elderly mum who’s very vulnerable and gas suicide ideation amongst numerous health issues. DH self employed and now lost all work as have I. DD year 12 but suffers from anxiety and is awaiting ASD assessment. It really feels scary and uncertain and I too feel sadness but also a lot of anger. Trying to keep spirits up but keep thinking what is the point.

bigmamama · 24/03/2020 13:08

Hi . I would just like everyone's opinion and please don't be mean and name call.
So my mum lives alone and she's had my 3yo since Saturday, I was going to pick him up today and bring him home, but I then felt awful leaving her all alone.
I suggested she come stay here with us (my husband 3yo and 8mth old) she said she didn't want to leave her house unattended for upto 3 weeks which is understandable. She suggests that we just go back and forth from mine to hers, as none of us are in contact with anybody else it literally is just us I'm not sure, it's a 5 min car journey.

bigmamama · 24/03/2020 13:09

My mental health will definitely benefit but my anxiety of thinking I'm breaking rules is also up there.

MadamePewter · 24/03/2020 14:07

I don’t really see the harm if that’s all you’re doing by but it is against the rules.

Scruffyoak · 24/03/2020 14:08

In struggling. Really struggling.
I also have PTSD abour being trapped.

MadamePewter · 24/03/2020 14:15

Oh, @scruffyoaks that’s a nightmare just now. Everything is a trigger! Easy said but can you take advantage of some fresh air?

Orangeblossom78 · 24/03/2020 14:15

Me too. Have this care plan and stuff on it can't do anymore like swimming etc, DC all home so no escape and feel guilty doing anything for myself and scared about going out, walks etc will help really not easy Flowers to all of you. also struggling with sleep and waking with panic attacks at the mo.

Scruffyoak · 24/03/2020 14:16

I am still having to go to work so I have had a change of scenery thankfully xx its crazy I'm not sleeping either. We can do this xx

NemophilistRebel · 24/03/2020 14:19

I’m struggling

Due to give birth soon and was waiting on mental health team referral to come through but nothing and now all antenatal appointments have been cancelled

I had terrible PND after last time and my panic attacks are daily now so I don’t predict I will fair any better after this time is over

I’m scared

I’m isolated just like anyone
But in my own selfishness I am sad for not having the support of my parents being able to help out with toddler at this time

Willowmartha1 · 24/03/2020 14:22

Anyone else feel like me ?! Totally gutted
I’m a single mum of one with no help with child care. I am considered a key worker but my work isn’t essential so I don’t feel I can send my daughter to school. Her dad can’t help out as he is a registered carer for his mum. Work are being incredibly difficult and have said if I need to be off it will need to be annual leave followed by unpaid leave which will leave me short in the summer holidays and I have rent and bills to pay. I had just managed to get my life back on track after a difficult few years due to the loss of my beloved sister and my mum being diagnosed with dementia soon afterwards. My daughter has just started a lovely new school where she is very happy but had only been there seven days before this 😥. My Facebook is clogged up with people having a lovely time home schooling their children and seem very positive about it all but I just feel despair for the next few weeks. Please tell me I’m not alone !! Sorry for the rant.

bigmamama · 24/03/2020 14:53

@madamepewter thank you, I'm torn because it's technically against rules but if we are using common sense than it should be ok? Such a hard one.
@NemophilistRebel could you not see you parents as I'm doing ?

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