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Original poster

OMG why won’t my elderly parents listen

142 replies

Hopefulworker · 22/03/2020 20:23

My elderly parents are still socialising! Myself and partner (NHS worker) are 100% on lockdown with the exception of his work obviously. Why won’t they listen? Any tips to get them to? Or AIBU?

OP posts:
Purplewithred · 22/03/2020 20:25

Ask them to sign an advance decision stating that if they get ill they don't want hospital treatment. Don't need a solicitor or anything.

PickAChew · 22/03/2020 20:26

Hopefully, they might take it more seriously when they get the letter through their door, in a day or so.

Ponoka7 · 22/03/2020 20:26

My Mother would be the same.

You could try emotional blackmail/manipulation because ime they don't listen to reason.

millymollymoomoo · 22/03/2020 20:30

Mine are the same. Says when your times up it’s up and if it is time then they want to enjoy it. I can understand this and in many ways I think we try to save people beyond their years. However, - just don’t expect a ventilator then.

colinthecaterpillars · 22/03/2020 20:31

Mine are same they say they haven't got it to pass to others .whatever the government haven't said is to shut they will go to see if it's open and if so go in...aarrggghhh

MrsGrindah · 22/03/2020 20:32

Yes but these “ I’ve had a long life” people need to understand through their selfishness they might be shortening someone else’s life.

MrsGrindah · 22/03/2020 20:33

PILs are just the same... “ only” seeing family...

Titsywoo · 22/03/2020 20:34

"Hopefully, they might take it more seriously when they get the letter through their door, in a day or so"

What letter?

WickedlyPetite · 22/03/2020 20:34

My parents are the same.

We've had a huge fall out today when I told them not to fucking call me, asking me to put myself and my family at risk by helping them out and looking after them when they've got Coronavirus.

They're on their own now.

AngelicInnocent · 22/03/2020 20:34

Try asking where their will is to make it easier for you. Harsh but might make them think.

Dubdubdubtub · 22/03/2020 20:38

Ask them if they could live with themselves if someone they came into contact with died. Show them the pictures of the coffins all lined up in buildings in Italy.

CSIblonde · 22/03/2020 20:40

They're in denial as a coping strategy. Are they not watching the news or reading any online news & going off 'it's just flu' hearsay? Do they know how bad it is in Italy? Do they know a healthy 12yr old is on a ventilator in the US & an 18yr old died in UK today? Hopefully the letter going out Monday will hammer it home.

iheartislesofwight · 22/03/2020 20:42

i think as adults they will not wantto be told what to do and will not listen to reason.

cptartapp · 22/03/2020 20:44

Today, MIL cancer survivor (79) and FIL with diabetes (80) have been mingling with SIL and BIL who was sent home from work coughing this week and my nephews. They live next door and have always been enmeshed.
Even this isn't enough to separate them.

HavenDilemma · 22/03/2020 20:45

@PickAChew The letter isn't for everyone in the vulnerable group, it's going to the 'exceptionally vulnerable' who have specific diseases. Doesn't mention elderly

HavenDilemma · 22/03/2020 20:47

@Dubdubdubtub To be fair, the picture of the coffins lined up in Italy is from 2009. I agree with what you're saying though

JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/03/2020 20:47

I've told mine that I can't come near until she stops. She's worried about us being a risk to her but she's the one going out several times a day. I'm just glad they've shut the churches and cafes.

woodencoffeetable · 22/03/2020 20:49

show them this

OMG why won’t my elderly parents listen
MrsExpo · 22/03/2020 20:49

Chatting to an elderly (78) lady the other day ..... her view is that she’s “got to die of something so might as well be this”. Her view was that it’s better than fading away in a home, unloved and ignored. A sad and sobering view, but one shared, I suspect, by many older people. Not everyone wants to live to be 100 .... the wider implications of passing it on to others don’t come into the argument.

Tumbledryer1 · 22/03/2020 20:50

YANBU - my husbands father is being a completely selfish person too, been off playing tennis today with his tennis buddies 😡

CSIblonde · 22/03/2020 20:54

@Titsywoo the vulnerable will be getting letter or text on Mon to self isolate for 12weeks. Boris is doing daily messages re this stuff so pays to check news daily online at present. Hinted today that as people are ignoring social distancing, full lock down, like Italy, is on the cards. Police will be given powers to enforce it & impose fines.

Pembsgirl · 22/03/2020 20:54

I agree with Purplewithred, get them to sign an advance directive, to say they will not take or expect a hospital bed when they contract Coronavirus, because they haven't taken appropriate care of themselves and if their time is up, it's up!!

On the other hand, I did see something about the Queen doing a broadcast to the nation. Can't help wondering if some elderly people are more likely to take more notice of her than Boris.

Neverender · 22/03/2020 20:56

Ask them what they would do if it was Ebola...

GabsAlot · 22/03/2020 20:57

theres about a million letters going out to exptremely vulnerable people not all

Neverender · 22/03/2020 20:58

1.5 million people will be getting a letter asking them to self-isolate for 12 weeks because they're in one of the "at risk" groups