Divorced parents with vulnerable children

[BillMasen]

Hi,

I wondered if there were any other parents in the same boat as I am. I’m divorced and share care of my 2 children. It’s around 60:40 as their mum doesn’t work but I do.

Both children have a condition that puts them in the governments “vulnerable “ category, and the most recent advice given is that they should be shielded. That means no leaving the house for 12 weeks.

We (me and their mum) are on good terms and co-parent well, and are both unsure how to do this. Clearly advice is for them to stay at home, and devastated as I am at the thought of not seeing them for 12 weeks, if it’s what’s best then so be it.

On the flip side, she’ll need a break, I’m working from home so not going anywhere, they live a 5 minute drive away, they’ll benefit from a change of 4 walls, im happy to pretty much isolate if that’s what’s needed.

Really torn want to do what’s right and not be swayed by how much I’ll miss them...

If you get on well with the mum have a discussion with her about what you want to do in your children's best interests. Point out it isn't in their best interests for them to have a carer who is exhausted and that you will self-isolate as well apart from picking them up.

I would suggest you make sure your car has a full tank of fuel now.

If the children have health issues you need to self isolate as far as possible (food shopping only) for 14 days before you pick them up, and their mum needs to continue to do while they're with you.

If you do that there's no reason not to continue doing 60/40 but if you're in contact with more people (potentially carrying the virus) than their mum is in the two weeks before they come to you then you can't risk it as you're increasing their exposure.