How to deal with friends claiming to be 'key workers'

[McDougal]

Just as the title says, really. I know a lot of admin staff in the NHS. A lot support inpatient services and have a real impact on keeping things moving. Others are PAs to managers who will be making decisions impacting upon patient care, but could do this themselves without a PA forwarding this communication on their behalf.

How do you deal with this? One friend is continuing to take her child to nursery as she's a 'key worker' when her husband is temporarily at home as his job has come to a standstill and I'm struggling to be sympathetic.

My stepmom is a PA in the NHS. She is doing a hell of a lot more than just taking messages. She has been busier over the last 2 weeks than ever before. She is working 12 hour days despite being paid 9-5 - who do you think orders equipment, arranges meeting and appointments so everyone knows what the hell is going on, makes sure the doctors are where they are supposed to be, and are full briefed and prepared, prepares medical records, etc, etc?!

OK some might be taking the piss, but she certainly is not!

You really, really believe that "people, even in the NHS, aren't taking this seriously"
Really?

Under current circumstances, this seems like such a ‘doesn’t affect you in any way’ thing to be getting your knickers in a twist about.

I like that previously undervalued workers are now being recognised for how essential they are. Who would have ever thought that retail staff would be regarded as national heroes?

Are you narked because your friend is deemed a key worker and you aren’t? You really need to give yourself a stern talking to about this. You and the rest of us have far more important things to worry about.

Genuinely not bitter or controlling but just surprised that people are willing to send their kids to a nursery/school setting if not completely necessary and, yes, I do believe there has been some misinterpretation of what exactly constitutes a key worker.

I'm not arguing that so many roles are essential at the moment, but the use of childcare is not.

I could have claimed to be a key worker as work in a local authority but, as I can work from home, didn't feel it necessary. I thought more people would've done the same. No moral high ground before anyone accuses me, just genuine curiosity.

Please also be aware that many of us Inthe NHS who are not front line staff will be redeployed into different roles in the next few weeks. It's not as straight forward as you think. There is a lot of pressure on ALL NHS staff at the moment!

I could send DD as DH is a key worker, I don't want to send her as I think the children there are high risk for having the virus. The guidelines clearly say if a better alternative is available ie a parent at home then the child should stay home. School is a last resort to stop the key worker taking time off walk or enlisting the help of an elderly relative. I'd be annoyed at your friend too and would probably ask if she's worried child will get virus from doctors children etc.

I would just the nod and smile thing OP then get in with your day.

Okay, it seems I've been unreasonable and I'll take that on board when speaking to my friend. For those saying I don't value what she does, please see my previous posts. I absolutely do value her work. She is incredible at what she does and has put many managers she works for to shame in how she approaches situations in a calm, measured manner.

My question related to the use of childcare which, in my view, was not essential. There have been many threads about this which I maybe should have joined rather than starting my own.

I work in finance admin for the NHS and wouldn't dream of calling myself a key worker but I have been asked by my employers to continue working and putting my child in nursery since the key worker definition was broadened. My DH is also labelled a key worker too so we have a good case for keeping her in nursery.

As it happened one of us has symptoms so we are isolating anyway.

So is the dad working from home or just home?

The issue here isn't key worker it's home situation.

In the next couple of weeks it will be all hands on deck and everyone doing what they can to keep hospitals going. All staff are key workers now because we'll need as many people as possible to get through this.

If he's not actually working they are 100% CFs. If he is working, working with kids at home is incredibly hard at some ages.

I'm a teacher. I'm asthmatic and could just stay at home. Luckily,I'm able to do an admin role on the days I'm in school but am still near children.

I'll put my health on the line for the children of vital workers and any vulnerable children but resent risking my health and that of my family for the people who really don't need the service.

I'm a PA to a consultant in the NHS. Every morning he puts his head round my door, does a sigh of relief, and says 'oh thank fuck you're here'.

working with kids at home is incredibly hard at some ages.

Difficult or otherwise if a parent is home the kids should be kept home. This is emergency childcare not a get out clause to ease your way through this.

I think you've misunderstood how this whole thing works, you don't get to decide yourself whether you are or are not a key worker. There is a very clear line of communication from DoH, DfE, MoJ or whoever your parent department is about who qualifies. I don't know how it works in the private sector, but in the public sector its pretty well defined.

OP you messed up because your initial post was very patronising about a PA’s role in the NHS. Not many people have read beyond that and to be honest they shouldn’t be expected to, you have written with anger and it’s not pretty

Your other point about if one parent is at home, then absolutely the children should be at home. But because of the above it’s over clouded this

There have been a bizillion posts also today about key workers and childcare in school. The general consensus is if a parent is at home the children don’t go to school. It’s for key workers with no other option only

It's very simple; ALL ROLES IN THE NHS QUALIFY AS KEY WORKERS. Your opinion of the validity of your friends role means nothing. Under the government issued guidelines she is a key worker.

Tbf you have painted yourself in quite a bad light here.

If the dad is home not working he should be looking after the DC. If he’s not there is a high possibility he is either a useless fucker who never lifts a finger or abusive and never lifts a finger
Either way I’d be feeling sorry for my friend and asking her if everything was ok

I think the situation will end up speaking for itself anyway and they will have to weed out the less genuine emergency childcare places.
This is not just about key worker children. The most vunerable children need this care too or they could slip off the radar during this crisis

In my OP, I clearly stated that her partner is at home. I did query the validity of 'key worker' because it has been very much open to interpretation by different schools/childcare settings. To say my post was written in anger is incorrect. Frustration perhaps but my main issue was making use of 'childcare' when not essential which I still stand by.

If I've upset any NHS workers, I apologise. I based this very much on recent messages from a friend, frustrated she'd be at work with nothing to do (whilst also having a husband at home) but still making use of childcare.

I didn't get that you were being unsympathetic or questioning the title of 'key worker', regarding administrative staff. I was a PA and office manager in a busy hospital department and I know how important such roles are so I think I'd have picked up on anything remotely scathing.

My impression was that you were annoyed with a colleague putting her child in nursery when her husband was at home all day.

I take it you don't know the husband, there may be very good reasons why he can't child mind for an indefinite period.

It really is best not to concern yourself with what others do in these extraordinary times especially as you cannot know the full facts. Concentrate on yourself.

It will be so great when all this is over.

If he's not actually working they are 100% CFs. If he is working, working with kids at home is incredibly hard at some ages.

This. And even if it’s the first one- that’s mainly his decision not hers, so why get annoyed at her about it?

I can do my job from home ordinarily. Can’t with a 3 year old and 1 year old with me though. So I’ll be taking unpaid leave. But crucially- we can afford to do that (just and for a while). Maybe your friends can’t?

Are the schools just letting anyone declare themselves a key worker? Presumably not, there will be a list of roles that make people eligible for the help from the school. So if your friend's got it then she must be classed as a key worker.

Don't you think? They're not going to let people just say they're one and be eligible.

Just mind your own business. Why is it bothering you so much?

In hindsight, my title was misleading. Her husband needs to step up. It was perhaps her saying key worker but nothing to do that prompted my title. My mistake. I think people being flippant in horrible times gets everyone's goat if I'm honest.

@IWantToBreakFreee it's probably bothering her so much because what's the point of schools closing if everyone's going to try and get their children back in. The fewer children mixing in school the better. (Before anyone says I'm jealous, as I said my kids have the option to attend but they won't be).