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How to deal with friends claiming to be 'key workers'

335 replies

McDougal · 21/03/2020 23:18

Just as the title says, really. I know a lot of admin staff in the NHS. A lot support inpatient services and have a real impact on keeping things moving. Others are PAs to managers who will be making decisions impacting upon patient care, but could do this themselves without a PA forwarding this communication on their behalf.

How do you deal with this? One friend is continuing to take her child to nursery as she's a 'key worker' when her husband is temporarily at home as his job has come to a standstill and I'm struggling to be sympathetic.

OP posts:
laughinglettuce · 23/03/2020 09:18

@NHSEA has explained it perfectly. All NHS staff are key workers.

I was previously a PA in a large well known organisation for a very busy and demanding boss. Now I work for the NHS in a clinical setting in the community (so not frontline acute). I am off today but fully expecting to be doing part of my role to support some of our vulnerable patients alongside being drafted somewhere I am needed.

I would say that PAs in the NHS are needed more than ever at this time. A good PA is a pivotal role in an organisation to keep things running. The downfall of the NHS is paying admin staff very low salaries so the quality of candidates they attract is not the best. The assumption that the work of a PA just passes messages and does a bit of filing is all wrong. IME that perception is pretty widespread. It also isn't helped by a number of admin staff who DO just shuffle huge piles of NHS paperwork about and are frankly just a bit crap.

ArgumentativeAardvaark · 23/03/2020 09:35

sticking to the letter of the gov guidance that only in a household where both parents are key workers will the pupil be given a place.

That is not the government guidance @BlindAssassin1.

The government guidance says that where a child can be cared for safely at home they should be. There are plenty of circumstances in which both parents are not key workers but this is still not possible.

BlindAssassin1 · 23/03/2020 09:48

The government guidance says that where a child can be cared for safely at home they should be.

Yes, as per the flow chart someone posted above. People like me and the PA in the OP can care for their DC at home and do not need a school place right now. To insist on one takes the piss.

ffswhatnext · 23/03/2020 10:16

We don’t know their reasons for this decision.

People getting told they are lazy etc. Calling names because they don’t want to wfh and look after the children.

Companies want their staff actually working not staying with their children all day long. They either follow work rules or don’t get paid.

He may have underlying health conditions.

It’s not just key workers schools are open for. Vulnerable children as well.

And fuck me at the suggestion of night staff working all night then supposed to go home and watch the child all day. Fuck that. When are they supposed to sleep.

I also suppose the single parent who has now been forced onto UC because hours have been reduced are also stupid, feckless, idiots etc because it’s either send them to school or not get any money.

Must be so nice to live in a world where you only know people who aren’t in the at risk group, so they can look after your children. Must be nice that no one needs a job to earn the money to pay for stuff.

I used to work in education. Once I’m free of CV I will be letting my old schools and lea’s know if needed I’m available. Just like nhs there will be others like me who will do this.

We cannot sit at home on our asses. We need to do what we can to help the country still run. Schools have a care of duty, and many staff are happy to still go in, despite the risk because they know what live will be like for the vulnerable.

Others are scared and have to work because it’s still term time. They can refuse of course to go. The school will refuse to pay them.

Oh but the other parent can watch them. This is assuming the other adult is healthy. I would be fucked if my helpful teen was a lot younger. On a good day I don’t have the energy or strength to get through the day without needing to sleep.

noblegiraffe · 23/03/2020 10:43

We cannot sit at home on our asses

Literally exactly what we need as many people as possible to be doing.

BuzzingtheBee · 23/03/2020 12:21

Our school only had 7 in today, I was expecting a lot more from messages I had seen. I wonder wether the school put its foot down?

NotEverythingIsBlackandwhite · 23/03/2020 12:34

How do you deal with this? One friend is continuing to take her child to nursery as she's a 'key worker' when her husband is temporarily at home as his job has come to a standstill and I'm struggling to be sympathetic.
Then don't be sympathetic. As her husband is at home then the child should not be in a nursery potentially putting nursery staff's health at risk. They are only supposed to be in school if there is no other option. I assume this applies to nurseries too.

This pandemic will make us all reflect on our relationships and some, where we consider people to be selfish or to have done the wrong thing morally, will no doubt fall by the wayside.

73Sunglasslover · 23/03/2020 12:54

I think all NHS workers are essential TBH. The system is running on a shoe string as it is so there is no slack and if you remove one person from the system the front-line care is affected.

I agree about schools BTW and think the advice has been too vague. if one parent is at home it's irrelevant if the other is as keyworker. The child needs to stay at home. I have a neighbour doing this and have alerted the school and suggested they give a clearer message. The neighbour suggested they were sending their child in as it wasn't convenient for her OH to school him whilst trying to work. I don't think she understands that everyone is in the same boat and that if we're going to properly address the level of threat they need to put their big boy pants on and find a way - like everyone else is.

Justforthislifetime · 23/03/2020 12:58

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8141987/Primary-school-headteacher-Wendy-Jacobs-Barrow-Furness-dies-testing-positive-coronavirus.html

May be the wrong thread as people here sound like they are being sensible but the above has just popped up on the Fail, everyone needs to take this seriously without panicking Daffodil Gin

masterblaster · 23/03/2020 17:40

The NHS managers will be under unbelievable stress. Their PAs do a job, which is to organise the managers and make sure their diaries are used effectively. PAs do a very important job for senior people. No, they can't just send out a few e-mails themselves.

vale46 · 23/03/2020 17:40

All NHS workers are key workers. It is possible that your friend may be re-deployed in another department where the need is currently greater.

MyWitzEnd · 23/03/2020 17:54

Ignore others. It IS your business. It is everyone's business if people are not taking responsibility and just thinking about themselves.

Forgottenwhatsleepis · 23/03/2020 17:55

I thought the schools were open to key workers kids if they really had no other option? The advice was it is better for them to be at home.
And you are right about key worker roles- I have friends that I thought were both key workers, one is an electrician, the other works in a funeral directors, but even with all these extra deaths funeral parlour workers aren't classed as key workers!

Soulstirring · 23/03/2020 17:56

Who In their right mind thinks people want to expose their family to risk? Employers have a lot to answer for still. I am a key worker and my workload is through the roof. Husband has been told to go to site, if he refuses he makes himself redundant. Which we can’t afford. I have tried to work from home but can’t with a 5 year old, being on t/cs etc all day. Mine are going to school tomorrow. As soon as DH is home so will the kids. I don’t want to send them in but am between a rock and a hard place. If I am home, I am working. Unless I take holiday or no pay. And with no clarity as to how long this goes on I can’t afford to do either

ffswhatnext · 23/03/2020 17:59

I knew the sit on the asses comment would back to bite me, well in the..

I'm not suggesting everyone carry on as normal. Sorry if it read that way. We can sit on our asses and still do our bit. Starting with positive talk and the appreciation of what these key workers are doing for us. The sacrifices they are making for us.

By attacking those who use the services, remember some of those are teachers. They are in the middle getting hit from all sides. It's not their fault. Same with it's not the ops fault, or any other person using the service currently available.

It may be as simple as the child's parents know her. Like I have said, if we weren't on lockdown because I have it, I would have considered sending him, even for an hour for his mental health. Once we have finished isolation, that option would be open to us.

People are facing excruciating choices at the moment. Their MH will suffer a lot. The negativity will not help. Key workers and their families need our support, now more than ever.

CallmeBadJanet · 23/03/2020 18:01

Why are so many people who have a "husband at home" putting their children in nursery? This is not how it works!!!!!!! Crap dads...Get your shit together! Mums who don't trust their husbands, sort your shit out!

ffswhatnext · 23/03/2020 18:06

Omg did I just read that someone has reported their neighbour for sending their own child to school?

That is entirely between the school and the parents. You don't know their circumstances. You don't know why the other parent is at home.

How are you going to feel when they are telling you they have no income because of some do-gooder neighbour?

Fedupwithex · 23/03/2020 18:09

I have a friend whose a sending her to school and after school club every day, works in a private hire van rental company (think enterprise). I have just left the NHS for a job working from home dealing with health and social care regulations, I will have mine at home while I Skype all meetings. She will be sat at a desk with barely anyone coming in checking in and out vans. Shameless

ffswhatnext · 23/03/2020 18:10

It's not just dads. There are posters on this thread and elsewhere who are mums who are trying to work from home, and they cannot. Dad is a key worker, so can use the services provided to help him work. Not like mum can drop them off somewhere to actually do some work.

What about if the other parent is a key worker and can wfh? the other parent also a key worker? Cannot really have the children running around. I want my medical team to be able to concentrate properly on working.

ffswhatnext · 23/03/2020 18:11

It might be she needs to be there to get wages.

Ohbobbies · 23/03/2020 18:15

Don't understand why sending your kids to school at the mo is seen as a "perk"!?
I would be miserable if i had to send my kids in, to childcare (not education) with loads of other children of key workers who, clearly, are far more likely to come down ill, then pass it on to their families and through school, to my kids and family. I feel so sorry for anyone having to put their own and their family's health at risk in this way - and hugely grateful too, nhs, teachers, super-market workers etc - they are complete superheroes in my eyes, they are essentially heading to the front-line on our behalf, and taking their families too!
Anyone sending their kids in to school when they don't absolutely have to is surely nuts??!!? It's not a perk, its a shit necessity!

HostessTrolley · 23/03/2020 18:16

I’ve got a friend who works for the prison service, single with adult children, who’s continuously ranting because she wasn’t allowed priority access to the supermarket nhs hour as she classes herself as an emergency service...

ffswhatnext · 23/03/2020 18:20

I would classify someone as working for the prison service essential. If they aren't eating because there is no food, their physical and mental health will deteriorate. Then what happens to the prisons? And who is there to care for that prison worker?

suziesue45 · 23/03/2020 18:26

I'm admin for infection control in the NHS, I'm the one is is answering ALL the calls, that hundreds a day and I'm the one ordering all PPE for the whole of the Trust. I'm doing overtime with everyone else, my managers dont have a clue how to order anything, retake calls etc and nor should they as they have much bigger things to deal with. Also, NONE of the hospital wards, offices etc. Would be able to work without the cleaners, admin etc so wind your neck in and realise everyone in the NHS is important no matter what their job title is.

FaveNumberIs2 · 23/03/2020 18:33

Not your business what anyone else does, right or wrong, and the best thing to do is tell people to leave you out of the discussion.

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