Postnatal and social distancing/isolation

[Ejones95]

Very aware that there is a pandemmic and everyone should be keeping themselves to themselves and staying in doors etc I am wondering if any other single mums are struggling with postnatal anxiety/ depression and concerned that social isolation would cause more harm then good. Wondering if you can limit contact to a select few. For example when I'm having a bad day my mum would usually Come round or a friend and would just give me that help i need. Now my question is, is this still ok?? Or would this be a deffiannate no?? I'm very concerned by everything and worried I'll make the wrong or the right choice? And I also know a few other single mums in my situation are feeling conflicted and the same want some general thoughts or advice. Thanks

Unfortunately not - and i say this as a mum with an 8 week old - have a think about these two cases -

1. Person A is a healthy 35 year old and must social distance from her mum of 65. That is how the virus can be stopped.

1. Person B isba healthy 35 year old with PND. She doesn’t need to Social distance from her mum of 65. The virus will consider her personal circumstances in this case and not spread.

Do you see how case 2 makes no sense? NCT have moved all their antenatal classes online. The major postnatal exercise chain Busy Lizzy have done the same. Countries like Germany are about to bring in measures which prohibit people from leaving their houses without permission to get food or similar.

So the answer is NO. The virus will not distinguish between people depending on their mental health status.

Here is what I am doing -

1. Zoom meetings with colleagues and friends
2. MUTU system exercise daily
3. Zoom meetings with other mums
4. Gardening

5, pre school parents WhatsApp group

1. Online postnatal exercise classes

This is shit. But this is how it is. Keep in touch extensively by online means, exercise, and make liberal use of phone Helpline’s and websites. Signing up for an NCT group which are now all online will help too

How old/ healthy is your mum? Or the people she will come in to contact with day to day?

I have an 8 week old and was just about to get stuck into groups and going out and about again when all this kicked off.

At the moment I am trying to arrange a bit of an online life for myself

• mother and baby yoga over Zoom
• mother and baby exercise classes over Zoom
• I have a supportive NCT WhatsApp chat - you could look for support groups on Facebook/ WhatsApp etc.
• ring your Health Visitor - they should know what arrangements are being made locally
• I'm contacting at last 3 friends/family every day by video call

It's not great being holed up (especially without a concrete end date) but I'm trying to focus on making sure that my parents will still be alive at the end of this, which means not seeing them in person. I can still talk to them several times a day.

In terms of my own mental health

• I 'dress to my shoes' every morning (idea nicked from FlyLady - worth googling)
• goal each day = all fed none dead. If this goal is met the day has been a success
• bonus goal each day - something which will make me feel a bit better if I do it, but won't be a problem if I don't, eg clean the fridge
• I'm monitoring my Mumsnet usage carefully - if a thread is adding to my anxiety, I hide it. And try to remember that despite all the loo roll panic and scenes on the news, the vast, vast majority of people survive the virus. And that by staying home and encouraging others to do so, I'm doing everything in my power to keep people safe.

I understand that the virus will not stop and think first about the mental well being of who it is going to infect. And I understand that no contact is the best way To handle this pandemic. But in the back of my mind I am thinking how this could effect my children.

My Mum is 44 who works in retail who could carry multipul germs also will come into many people who she could also pass on the virus. Which is making me hesitant.
Was considering instead of my mum bring in my sister to maybe isolate with me in the house. She's 20 but might still work due to she is a TA at s school. I have a 2 years old and 8 month old, I ignored alot of things for a while and recently health visitor referred me to minds matter for support.

But I do not think my mental state would be able to cope months with just me and my children In a house. I dont want to sound like I don't care about this virus, i am very concerned and worried by it.

But it's also spiking my anxiety and I am having many flare ups more often and want to do what's best for everyone if that makes sense

Yeo get it. My 4 year old and 8 week old and a history of PND - was just getting into groups and now this.

But unfortunately there are no exceptions for social distancing. Thinkof tbose in care homes with no visitors allowed indefinitely. There are no exceptions.

Someone has said alot of groups are turning to Facebook, I'm not on Facebook so I couldn't say for my area but might be worth looking for your area and groups for that support.

I do understand that. That is why I'm seeing on here if any other mum's single or not have any ideas or what they are doing in their situations to help with PND and these circumstances

Hiya PMHP UK are beginning to put together online resources - check out their twitter profile - twitter.com/pmhpuk/status/1241325926203502603?s=21

Here is the SMILE group moving online twitter.com/thesmilegroup/status/1240988150534754304?s=21

Busy lizzy postnatal fitness classes and group moving online busylizzyguildford.co.uk

PNDHOUR - an online twitter based pnd peer support group for mums run by Rosey of PND and me - twitter.com/pndandme/status/1241119705181704195?s=21

They have an online meet up on 25th March

Baby and Me virtual classes twitter.com/pramactive/status/1241069832541536257?s=21

I'm not on any social media so can't read any of those sorry

It would take about 30 seconds to sign up.

I don't have them for a personal reason. But I think I've decided to isolate us fully if I struggle with MH then my sister will come join us for support. But she will continue to go to work as she is looking after key workers children in school

Twitter ones are public. You don’t need to be on twitter to access the information.

I didn't know though assumed it was like Facebook and private

Mums aid are taking sign ups for an online group for new mothers keeping going through COVID

here is the information twitter.com/fireflyfituk/status/1240930490997256192?s=21