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Covid

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Original poster

Is this allowed?

20 replies

TableNiner · 21/03/2020 08:18

If I stay at home all week, then drive to visit an elderly relative who has not had any other visitors? Where is the risk of transmitting this, or indeed anything else between us?
I guess the minute you go to the shops for supplies you are then at risk of carrying something?

OP posts:

Ihateselfishbastards · 21/03/2020 08:20

Take a wild guess.

IceKitten · 21/03/2020 08:21

No it's not allowed

Cupcakegirl13 · 21/03/2020 08:21

Surely you’d need to stay in for two weeks having had absolutely no contact with the outside world which is impossible 🤷🏻‍♀️ Don’t take the risk it’s not worth it

collywobblescar · 21/03/2020 08:21

Just go with nothing is allowed unless it involves staying in your home

ofwarren · 21/03/2020 08:22

No it isn't allowed.
Omg, why aren't people getting this??

scaevola · 21/03/2020 08:27

What you need to do here, if the vulnerable person actually needs a care visit and you are the best placed person for this, is not self isolation (done when you are symptomatic) but actual quarantine.

So that's the 14 days in full quarantine isolation, so you cover the entire incubation period. And breaches and you reset the clock.

goodname · 21/03/2020 08:38

My mum is staying in complete isolation so she can go and visit her parents. She sees no one else but her parents, we do her shopping etc but don’t see her. She can’t stand the thought of not looking after them so this is the safest solution esp if they need someone to go in and help them. Much better than having carers in who would be in several other houses etc.

okiedokieme · 21/03/2020 08:39

You need to make a judgement - just saying stay home is too simplistic, people have care needs, things need fixing etc. Flattening the curve is important but we need to have perspective too. Wait two weeks and it will be ok

SapphireSalute · 21/03/2020 08:40

Is the message that hard to comprehend op!? It’s not getting through is it?

Skeeter2020 · 21/03/2020 08:41

No no no no

bananapyjama · 21/03/2020 08:59

I've been wondering about my nan.

My mum is a key worker so has stopped visiting her. Nan doesn't go out. I'm not going out either (pregnant). I'm tempted to pop in to her (and no one else) once per fortnight so that she's not facing months and months on her own. Neither of us have symptoms.

I'm nervous though, and swing between the idea of isolation being essential and not going anywhere at all; then flipping to the other (morbid) thought, that if someone does become unwell, then spending their last few months of life entirely alone is just heartbreaking.

crapette · 21/03/2020 09:23

I'm tempted to pop in to her (and no one else) once per fortnight so that she's not facing months and months on her own. Neither of us have symptoms.

And if everyone does this?

Original poster

TableNiner · 21/03/2020 09:27

I’m on message about this but there are a few family arguments going on about what is and isn’t acceptable.

I’m finding it’s often the older people who are not taking things seriously

OP posts:

bananapyjama · 21/03/2020 09:49

@crapette as I said, I'm torn between the risks and benefits. But if each 'no contact' individual pairs up with another 'no contact' individual to check on them and provide company, then the risk level is exactly the same as a couple living together and following isolation guidelines?

I'm not totally decided yet; I'm trying to think of what is the best course of action. I'm not visiting anyone this weekend (as I had planned) and will see how things progress over the next couple of weeks before making my decision.

AgentPrentiss · 21/03/2020 09:50

Can people stop being assholes?

Chances are the elderly will need someone to visit/help them. Or are we all suggesting they’re just left to die on their own?

cloudchaos · 21/03/2020 10:05

@AgentPrentiss I agree.

The government has said those that need to offer regular care for their elderly family members should continue to do so.

Also the government hasn't said we aren't "allowed" to visit people. They have advised minimal contact (social distancing). The PM himself said that he hopes to see his mother on Mother's Day.

I'm not seeing my family and have stayed home for the past 3 weeks as none of my family need care or home support and I don't think it's worth the risk, but at the moment we aren't in a total lockdown and if others have elderly parents/relatives that need some sort of support then the government are saying it should continue and I wouldn't judge that.

They were even suggesting kids could go on bike rides as long as they cycled apart and didn't touch bikes - ridiculous suggestion for my two as they would never be able to stick to this, so we won't be doing this. But the key is it's social distancing, not enforced isolation/lockdown of everyone in the whole of society. It doesn't mean you're now not allowed to provide essential in home care for elderly relatives that can't manage without.

shinynewapple2020 · 21/03/2020 10:38

We all need to remember here that a lot of elderly people will be having daily visits from care workers and medical professionals.

How is your relative managing for food and do they need help with anything else?

If I had an elderly relative living in their own home I would still be making the occasional visit to take some shopping (puts them far less at risk than going out to shop which is actually 'allowed'), check they didn't need any assistance around the house (replacing light bulbs, checking smoke detectors). It is possible to stay a safe distance from someone while doing this, and you can wipe surfaces you have touched before you leave.

Some people on this board think that others are selfish by doing things like this but the truly selfish are the ones only seeing the lives of the whole country by the possible impact of CV on their own family.

Fallstar · 22/03/2020 16:37

My very elderly mum needs daily care visits as she is severely disabled and housebound. She can't even open her front door. She should be in a care home but was on a waiting list when this all broke out.

I do one of the care visits each week; the rest are done by carers from an agency. I keep at least a metre away, use gloves and wipe surfaces down, but I can't not go. I have masks, but can't use them as my mum is deaf and needs to see what I'm saying to her.

I've spoken to adult social care and told them the situation, and asked whether they are able to offer support so I don't need to go in, or if I have to self-isolate and can't. They were sympathetic but said there's nothing they can do and to just do my best.

It's very hard, but she wouldn't manage if I didn't go in, and I don't think I'm doing anything different, hygiene-wise, than the other carers.

She can't come and stay with us as we can't physically get her there. One of my adult DC is a key worker, too, so possibly a risk.

If anyone has any ideas about how I could manage this, I'd be glad to hear them but I can't see an alternative to what I'm doing.

Purplewithred · 22/03/2020 16:43

The NHS advice is if you are at risk (eg over 70) then you should be particularly stringent about social distancing; and social distancing includes "avoid gatherings with friends and family". The key word here is "avoid". If it is unavoidable that you have to go - eg Fallstar's visits to her mum to keep her mum alive - then what must be must be. But if it is a social visit then you should not be going.

Salud · 22/03/2020 17:33

Even France who is in total lockdown are allowed to go to visit relatives for assistance - it's one of the items you tick on the form.

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