To resent parents who are still sending their kids to school on Monday

[letmeinthroughyourwindow]

Not the genuine cases, obviously.

But I'm a teacher and we will be opening for the duration because 40% of our pupils have at least one parent who is a keyworker.

Before the list was released, the government told us to expect 10% and we planned accordingly. In fact, we planned for 20%.

When the list was released, it was so broad that far more parents than we ever expected fell into one of the categories.

Now, if your need is genuine then of course I want to care for your child. I'm happy to do it, and proud that doing so keeps you working.

But we have so many parents who are allowed to send their child to school, but shouldn't be, that it's infuriating me.

If you are a keyworker but your partner is a stay-at-home parent should you be sending them in?

If you are a keyworker but your partner works from home or is allowed to work from home indefinitely, should you be sending them in?

My sister's employer is allowing all employees who are parents to work from home on full pay, but many are saying that they don't need to, because their partner is a keyworker so their kids can still go to school

Just because you can send them, doesn't mean you should. It shouldn't be the best or easiest option for you, it should be a last resort if there is nowhere else to keep them safe.

The number one, most critical piece of advice for keyworker parents is, 'if it is at all possible for children to be kept at home then they should be.'

Please don't think I'm lazy and cba babysitting these children. I cried when my class went home yesterday, and care about every child in school. If I am in work full time anyway, then it really doesn't matter how many children are in the classroom.

But so many people don't understand social distancing. They are walking around like they are immortal, or only thinking that they themselves will probably be ok if they get it. For social distancing to have the desired effect, then everyone who can be at home, should be. If there was a chance of your child dying from this, would you send them to school? Well then think about who might die because they came into contact with your child.

And all of this brought on by a friend who called me last night to say that she is thrilled to be able to send her child to school on Monday because she is a deliveroo driver, even though her unemployed bf will be home all day on the PlayStation.

*Dawnofanewmillenium

The problem is, there’s no consistent approach

To be fair, it’s a situation that evolved extremely quickly. The government really didn’t help last week, by beginning the week saying schools were staying open and ending it by saying they were closing but not for the children of A, B, C.....X,Y,Z.

The rules are quite clear that it's a new or continuous cough, so we are?

New or continuous *dry cough

I know smile. I’m just upset and frustrated by the parents who insist their child must go in!

Me too Dawn!!

"Perhaps not under but I am in school while parents send in their teenage children. And I am at risk and so is everyone else I come into contact with."

Yes some will take the piss. Some key workers and some with children with sen.

The school holidays question - some parents have regular panic attacks, some feel terrified they will be injured so much they will end up in hospital and unable to look after their child and some have frequent thoughts of suicide but don't go beyond this because their child would be worse off without them.

I’m wondering if schools are going to be flexible about teachers WFH, so that teacher’s children are put into schools as little as possible.

Not, so far.

I’m a teacher so need to be at work. I can’t bring my children with me, so that’s 3 children having to go to school so that I can work.

People saying "I couldn't possibly work from home with a toddler" remember this.

If you are on the phone with a client, and suddenly have to run off to deal with a pea nose interface emergency, the world will not think you are uprofessional.

Everyone will understand.

Parents working from home with young children are not going t be able to work and provide childcare. From around 10 or 11 they should be more self sufficient.

under normal circumstances. This sint normal circumstance. Plenty of people are managing it.

Absolutely this. Under normal circumstances.

As I've said before, I've done it during multiple school holidays with two children. I'm self-employed, if I didn't make do then we wouldn't eat.

People saying they can't do it, could you make it work if there was absolutely no other alternative?

Of course you could. You'd cut the stuff that didn't really need to be done. You'd prioritise. You'd do stuff around the children. You'd get up at 4am, or you'd stay up until 1am.

Are school holidays my most productive times? No, probably not. But I cover the basics. You get good at having children who understand that Mum can't amuse them 24/7. They make their own fun. They amuse themselves. They get a little too much screen time (but who cares?).

In an ideal world you wouldn't want to work from home with kids around.

This is very, very, very far away from an ideal world right now.

And like pps have pointed out, I would never risk the lives of my children, other people's children, and staff, just because I didn't want to make some sacrifices.

You have to wonder if these parents would change their tune if this disease was specifically killing children and the* healthy. Of course, we all know the answer to that.

@Redlocks30 our head teacher has said, if we feel more comfortable and it supports us, we can bring our own children into the school. We're merging four schools (three primaries and one secondary) - all basically doing exactly the same work as the kids working from home so it's literally just baby sitting.

Doesn't help me much as I couldn't bring DS in if I wanted to as he's in an at risk group health wise but hopefully it'll help some staff.

Not, so far

I think most schools are waiting until Monday to see the actual numbers...

You are misunderstanding... no one gives a shiny shit, suck it up or spread corona fgs

Is this a serious comment or supposed to be tongue in cheek?

Not RTFT but some good points on it. I think the children of single working parents should be prioritised over couples. That said though, 2 parents who are keyworkers can not always work childcare around their shifts as they will often be similar or overlap. Same as those working from home - not always possible with young children.

I also think parents of children eligible for free school meals should be given the money to provide this extra rather than saying they have to go in for schools if they want one (not sure if this is a local or national thing though?)

Also to be considered is that there will be some parents in B and B's/ cramped conditions with no access to a garden - I've lived like that with young children and the MH toll at living like that is immense at the best of times - it must be unbearable for some at the moment and will be even worse if we start getting hot weather.

I'm a key worker and could send DC's to school but won't as luckily have adult DD to help. We're now quite fortunate as my DC's are older, we have a house and garden as well as a holiday chalet we can go to if we need to get away or self isolate. I have an OK job and am likely to have plenty of work unless I get ill. 10 years ago I'd have been stuck in 3 rooms (1 window, 4th floor) with 3 teenagers, 2 toddlers and a baby, little money at a time I was already severely depressed - I would not have coped. I think some on here are critisising others from a position of relative privilege.

For those on you moaning on here about the amount of kids still needing schools -unless you have symptoms/ comorbidity/ high CV risk - why don't you offer childcare to take the weight off teachers if you are that bothered?

I also think parents of children eligible for free school meals should be given the money to provide this extra rather than saying they have to go in for schools if they want one (not sure if this is a local or national thing though?)

Without economies of scale you couldn’t provide lunches for the same cost so you’d not be covering it enough.
It also means the kids that need an eye kept on them still have contact with someone.

I'm a key worker and have been told by the school that both parents have to be. We both are but I'm hoping my employer will give me a couple of days off unpaid so dp and I can juggle it between us. I don't want to send my dc into school.

My ds is 15 and me and my ex are both key workers so he ‘qualifies’ for a place but I really don’t want to send him in as he is safe at home he’ll just knock himself out on the Xbox... ex however is adamant he should go in so he has some degree of normality and doesn’t turn into a vegetable with no socialising. My ex literally cannot see how this is a selfish decision and we’re at loggerheads at what to do

Without economies of scale you couldn’t provide lunches for the same cost so you’d not be covering it enough.
It also means the kids that need an eye kept on them still have contact with someone.

Well yes, both good points. I mean you'd hope most vulnerable kids would be covered by the 'having social worker', and those with SEN would have a EHCP, but I get that is not the reality. Its actually breaks my heart to think of kids out there losing what is perhaps their only refuge from an abusive home, not mention all those affected by DA knowing they are now stuck with their abusers. /I wish I could do something to help, but I'm not sure what I could reasonably do in this respect.

I think some on here are critisising others from a position of relative privilege.

We need to go back to the point made upthread that teachers working in these times are doing it at considerable risk to themselves and their families.

Thankfully, many of them are willing. But for those cases where there are no alternatives. Not those that will struggle.

Everyone is under pressure. Everyone has their specific challenges. These are unprecedented times and everyone has to try their best to get through.

@CappyCapCap same here - it's such a difficult situation, employers don't seem to understand that just because they deem us a keyworker, the kids shouldn't be in unless they really need to be and also it's not actual education provision, just childcare. Basically they are looking for an excuse to not pay us.

ex however is adamant he should go in so he has some degree of normality and doesn’t turn into a vegetable with no socialising.

Tell your fuckwit of an ex that there will be no semblance of "normality" in schools and they're not open for fucking "socialising."

I think some people genuinely believe poor people eat their children for dinner, whip them and brutally keep them cowered and shaking in the cellar.

Please don't forget that there are children for whom this is representative of their life. I was one of them. In fact, you could add cold, hunger, torture, and sexual abuse to the list.

I've had the unfortunate working position in later years to be very aware that this kind of thing is still going on in larger numbers than many people would care to know (many teachers are also aware of this).

I do hear your point - it must be really awful to feel like eyes are on you, if you are a good parent doing your best like most of us do, but if that's the case - then it's not about you. It's about the parents who are really not capable of safe care, or are likely to do significant harm.

Anything that can be done to safeguard those children, and give them safe time/space where they are cared for - I can't tell you how priceless that is for them, and how it might just change the trajectory of their life.

YANBU.

Shame on the employers saying people can’t have their children at home with them if they’re working. My husband’s first work from home video call on Wednesday focussed entirely on mental well being including not worrying about people hearing your kids in the background.

I am technically a key worker, but we are both able to work mostly from home so we will watch/teach the kids between us.

We need to go back to the point made upthread that teachers working in these times are doing it at considerable risk to themselves and their families

And I get that but they are not the only ones - not just healthcare staff but retail staff, cleaner, carers/ home carers to name just a few.

I am not a teacher, but if I was I would work if it meant that I was saving a child from abuse or parents not coping, or one from losing their entire income or home due to a parent not being able to work. I get that they would resent parents who may be taking the piss though, but things are not always as simple as they seem.

OP I could not agree with you more. I couldn't quite believe it when I saw that they hadn't made it more stringent and said that either both had to be key worker or if there was one responsible adult and that adult was a key worker. It will totally defeat the purpose otherwise. It baffles me that the government haven't revised the guidance after seeing what they actually contain!

Anything that can be done to safeguard those children, and give them safe time/space where they are cared for - I can't tell you how priceless that is for them, and how it might just change the trajectory of their life

Quite. Of course it is not just the poor/ disadvantaged who abuse their children and not all struggle, but the odds of not coping in those groups are way higher for obvious reasons. Chronic poor housing/ income hugely affects MH and coping ability in many.

Guys if you have someone at home who can look after your child do not take them to school?! End of why are we still debating what that means. This is for people who have NO choice!!! Not for folk who think aww well just put them to school so I can get the house work done or have peace to work from home!!! 😡