To resent parents who are still sending their kids to school on Monday

[letmeinthroughyourwindow]

Not the genuine cases, obviously.

But I'm a teacher and we will be opening for the duration because 40% of our pupils have at least one parent who is a keyworker.

Before the list was released, the government told us to expect 10% and we planned accordingly. In fact, we planned for 20%.

When the list was released, it was so broad that far more parents than we ever expected fell into one of the categories.

Now, if your need is genuine then of course I want to care for your child. I'm happy to do it, and proud that doing so keeps you working.

But we have so many parents who are allowed to send their child to school, but shouldn't be, that it's infuriating me.

If you are a keyworker but your partner is a stay-at-home parent should you be sending them in?

If you are a keyworker but your partner works from home or is allowed to work from home indefinitely, should you be sending them in?

My sister's employer is allowing all employees who are parents to work from home on full pay, but many are saying that they don't need to, because their partner is a keyworker so their kids can still go to school

Just because you can send them, doesn't mean you should. It shouldn't be the best or easiest option for you, it should be a last resort if there is nowhere else to keep them safe.

The number one, most critical piece of advice for keyworker parents is, 'if it is at all possible for children to be kept at home then they should be.'

Please don't think I'm lazy and cba babysitting these children. I cried when my class went home yesterday, and care about every child in school. If I am in work full time anyway, then it really doesn't matter how many children are in the classroom.

But so many people don't understand social distancing. They are walking around like they are immortal, or only thinking that they themselves will probably be ok if they get it. For social distancing to have the desired effect, then everyone who can be at home, should be. If there was a chance of your child dying from this, would you send them to school? Well then think about who might die because they came into contact with your child.

And all of this brought on by a friend who called me last night to say that she is thrilled to be able to send her child to school on Monday because she is a deliveroo driver, even though her unemployed bf will be home all day on the PlayStation.

Whether you send them to school or not there is going to be change. It won’t be the same staff, or children or even necessarily the same building.

The key is whether you as a parent can manage that change. I get in some case for children with additional needs then the respite is needed very much so but if your sending them in just because they don’t like change then I think your over estimating what will happen!

Op, I agree completely. All the selfish parents who don’t need to send their children are putting the key worker children at greater risk of catching the virus. This then puts the key worker at risk of catching it or having to self isolate, putting the whole nhs system under even more strain.

The selfish will only realise how bad their behaviour has been when they need a doctor and there isn’t one available to treat them.

@SanFran19

Two of my children aren’t going in but my ds who has Sen, is at a specialist school and who doesn’t cope well with change IS going in.

How well will he cope with the change of one of his parents dying due to him bringing the virus home?

There is absolutely no need for resentment as everyone is just trying to do the best that they can and make the right choices for their family.

Do you not understand that your family are not the be all and end all? We live in a SOCIETY and we should all be trying to save as many lives as we can, even if it is a bit inconvenient

Thanks but I’ll take the advice of her NHS health worker rather than some stranger on the internet .

Dickhead

I am actually glad the list of key workers was so long because it's obvious that to keep society moving even at a snails pace you need more than just doctors and nurses. All the other clinical and support staff in the NHS keep things turning. Then looking outside the NHS there are lots of jobs that need to continue to provide food, water, energy, medicine, care etc.

I am not a key worker nor do I have children but totally understand why the list had to be long and allow flexibility.

I wonder how many children will actually be sent in on Monday after parents have had a think as it might be that for some it was a knee jerk reaction and panic that they 'need' to send them in when having weighed up that actual lesson teaching isn't going to happen that they would be better off at home. I did raise an eyebrow about the DH that has to lock themselves in a room for 8 hours on conference calls. Sounds a bit like an excuse to avoid any work at home if the child is old enough to mostly occupy themselves.

I think the seriousness of the situation has not been understood by many people.

I know of a woman who is cheerfully sending her kids to school Monday, as she told me both her husband and her are keyworkers.

Which they aren't in any realistic terms but the overbroad definitions of keyworker gave her that option.

However as her husband is medically vulnerable and she only works two five hours shifts a week, it would be so much safer for her husband to look after the kids for 10 hours a week and her to continue to do the rest.

She is happy, she doesn't understand that they are adding to the strain to the teachers at school. Or that her kids will be mixing with the kids of front line responders (bless them for working at this difficult time) who are very likely to catch and give it to their kids, who could bring it home to dad :( I really hope this is not the case, they are a lovely family.

I also suspect in many cases, fathers are refusing to look after their own children whilst wfh which is why they send them in.

From a message our school sent out it look like they’ve refused some requests. They say they’ve given priority to those who’s jobs are needed and who don’t have anyone else at home.
They do have the luxury of probably knowing most parents fairly well though so would know who was taking the piss.
My husband and I are both on the key worker list but can both work from home at present so we’ve just let the schools know that’s the case and that there is a tiny chance that we may both be needed and we’d need to send the kids in (but it’s got to get really bad for that to happen!)

YANBU I feel so sorry for teachers, the guidelines have been to vague.

Fucking hell, there are some vile people on this thread.

I’m a teacher. I will be in school whenever I am needed to look after whoever needs looking after, for whatever reasons.

Key worker? Leave them with us.
SEN and needs stability? Leave them with us.
SEN and you need respite? Leave them with us.
Vulnerable for some other reason that you don’t need to explain on an online forum? Leave them with us.

Posting vitriol on line? I’ll still look after your children if you need me to, but please, take a look at yourself and #BeKind.

YANBU Our school made it very clear that the places were for children with two key worker parents who had no alternative childcare or single key worker parents with no alternative childcare. Seemed perfectly clear and fair to me.

And yes, older children do not need to be supervised as much so it is perfectly possible to work from home with them in the house. Be honest, how much do you actually stand over them and supervise them at weekends? Much less than what people are pretending to need to do during the working day

I’m actually scared. I know MH problems are shit, I know they are.

I also lost my mother as a teenager. I know that kids losing their parents will cause more MH problems than one kid not going to school will solve.

My toddler goes to a CM. I'm a teacher but pregnant so WFH, but there is no way I can actually do my job and look after him. DH WFH sometimes but not always and thus doesn't seem to have changed- he could avoid going but that would mean not getting paid.

You do what the rest of us. Try your best. If a child interrupts a conference call or morning online registrations, it's not the end of the world.

This isnt normal WFH situations.

Lots will be getting up early and working later in the day. Lots of us will have work interrupted by children.

Unless they absolutely must be in school or child care, they shouldnt be there.

Asking genuine question here for teachers. If coronavirus wasn't happening, you would be working in school as normal, being paid. You will still be working in school as normal albeit under slightly different circumstances. I don't understand the problem in that respect, in that you will still be doing the same job but just with a different configuration of kids from other classes/years

Also, on a different point raised - I do think vets should still be in work. What are people supposed to do with sick pets? People can't treat their own pets or put to sleep etc! It's part of the fabric of society. Most people have pets who are an important part of the family (and play a big part in maintaining good mental heath).

This is supposed to have a 20% limit cap on it, so your head should have prioritised the most in need 20% children. Those with SAHM or a wfh parent should never have been offered a childcare place.

The answer to lots of the questions you asked are ‘no’, so your school hasn’t implemented this very well. Is the head very inexperienced?

My son's school have only kept 13 kids out of 300 I think your school needs to crack down if a parent is at home so is the child simple teally

They should have just shut the schools to all. I get both parents being a keyworkers children needing care of no family, friends etc but the one keyworker thing was madness. Putting school staff at risk is very wrong when the other parent could parent.

@MsJaneAusten there really are.

Yes, I do understand that. I don’t think that we are the be all and end all, far from it. Neither me his dad or siblings are in a high risk category and apart from our grandparents, who we aren’t seeing at the moment, we are all fit and healthy. I know people have died, and it truly is devastating, but to try and make me feel guilty saying I could leave my child without a parent is out of order. My husband could go to work tomorrow and catch the virus it and then pass it on to us. There are no guarantees.

Blue, because as long as kids turn up, staff turn up.

As long as that happens, I’m at risk. With a school of fifty staff and ten kids, one person catching it could have grave implications for somebody.

Aren’t there lots of very important husbands here!

It is perfectly possible to work from home with children. Yes it’s not as productive, yes there’s a chance they’ll wander into shot on a video conference, yes your precious DH might not be able to lock himself in the study (btw he’s not working nearly as hard as he’d like you to think) It’s not the end of the world.

But people need to grow up and step up. It’s hard but currently it needs to happen. So don’t take the piss. People are dying and a lot more will die.

And as for the wfh husband who can’t manage a 8 and 12 year old; this is utterly pathetic!

The entitlement of some people is absolutely astounding! DH and I are both technically (ridiculously) classed as key workers but there is a absolutely no way I'm sending my son to school.
People saying they won't be able to effectively work from home need to give their heads a wobble, the world is in the middle of a crisis, begin your 'very important' conference call by saying you're wfh, guess what, chances are that 90% of the others are too. These are unprecedented times, we are all dealing with new, stressful and tough situations. We should not be expecting teachers to put themselves and their families at risk so we can make a bloody call in peace.

Also, on a different point raised - I do think vets should still be in work. What are people supposed to do with sick pets? People can't treat their own pets or put to sleep etc

Round here the vets have all teamed together and have one at a time open for absolute emergencies

YANBU. I'm a key worker, and have to be in work as much as possible (a school). My DH can wfh. He will be working Sat and Sun, looking after DS two days in the week. We will both be working evenings when our son is in bed to get our work done. If the advice is to keep ds at home , he will be at home.

MsJaneAusten thank you