Key workers with vulnerable family members being given an impossible choice

[exwhyzed]

I'm a front line NHS/Social Care key worker. If I don't go into my job then vulnerable people may be at even greater risk. There is no one to easily replace me as it's a skilled role with a tricky client group.

But my husband who is young (sub 40) and very physically fit also has multiple autoimmune 'underlying health conditions' and a lung condition and asthma.

Every non rational bone in my body is screaming to try and isolate us all away from everyone else to protect him. The rational side of me is washing my hands until they are raw and keeping on keeping on at work with a cheery reassuring smile on my face.

We have small children who are too young to be eligible for school places. Our normal childcare is (youngish, healthyish) grandparents who also look after other grandchildren with key worker parents who are at high risk of getting the infection.

So who do I chose to protect? My vulnerable caseload or my vulnerable husband/father of my pre-school age children?

I can't be the only key worker who feels utterly stuck between a rock and a hard place?

If I was absolute front line, like ICU, med reg or something I would work as I think it's your duty. If I wasn't I'd stay home.

My DD and me are in the same position.

She is slightly vulnerable, it would put her in hospital or on heavy antibiotics. It could kil me. But she needs to work.

I should have said that i provide childcare for her.

If I was absolute front line, like ICU, med reg or something I would work as I think it's your duty.

Why would you put that on OP? She daily risks infecting her DH and will have to live with that for a lifetime if it kills him.

OP I think you need to step back.

Yes it’s so hard isn’t it. My DH and I are both teachers. But our two year old DS has had surgery on his respiratory system and has been hospitalised frequently for colds. We can hardly keep our distance from him, even with taking all sensible precautions. I can’t bring this home to him.

We are both hoping that our schools have enough staff that we can work from home.

Stay home. We will lose a proportion of our front line workers one way or another. You are not aiding anything if you end up sending another person to the ICU.

Absolutely stay home. The NHS will be on their knees long after the virus passes and you can do your bit then. You are in an awful position but as a pp said, if your dh gets infected then you would have to live with it

It’s an impossible situation OP. I am a key worker, could conceivably work from home but would feel I wasn’t really doing my bit. Trying to work out how I fit in the vulnerable group, I think I should be ok to keep going as I don’t think my ‘chronic disease’ really is, but on the other hand, if it is do I really want to risk it to provide childcare when I have my own DC that need me not to end up in hospital/dead. But is that horribly selfish even to consider? It goes round and round in my head but I don’t ever come to a conclusion!

I technically can do some of my job from home, I easily have 3 months worth of paperwork to catch up on and endless CPD I could do but face to face stuff is 80% of my job.

If I was just being asked to work extra hours to get through a crisis (not actually that unheard of) then I'm there forefront and centre rolling my sleeves up and getting involved on a promise of TOIL I know I will never be able to take. But this time they are literally asking me to put my own family, future financial security (DH is the main earner), health and well-being at risk and they haven't even asked if that's ok or given any guidance, or even a measly bottle of hand gel.

Why dont you discuss the possibility of temporarily being housed in different accommodation? Many places are being given up for free as temporary accommodation for key front line workers.

Your family must be your priority.

I'm a key worker. I work from home more often than not. I've told my manager I am not travelling for the foreseeable.

Front line services are fractured already. We already can't cope. I'm sorry I understand it's difficult. It's difficult for all of us, but there is no slack.
Everyone needs to understand when they take a step back someone will suffer - our palliative and most needy services are already cut to the bone 7 days in. I don't want to make anyone feel guilty but there isn't anyone else to step up. I've worked double my hours this week.

The only way to square the circle is to isolate (as far as you can) from DH, if you keep working.

Having said it's fucking terrifying that they are putting you at systemic risk with no protective clothing or hand gel.