Am I doing this right or wrong?

[40feetathome]

We have a 17 year old daughter who we've told, under the social distancing guidelines, that she's not to meet up with friends now. Obviously she's a teenager and therefore not happy. She's saying all her friends are allowed to see other close friends on a one to one basis (no groups etc) providing there are no symptoms in either family.

Nobody in our family is self isolating or has any underlying ailments that put us in the at risk category. Her Dad works in a role that is classed as a key worker and she's pointed out that if she was younger she'd probably be allowed to remain in school.

So. Would you let her see her best friend at their own houses or would you give a blanket ban on meeting anyone? This is all based on there currently being no official lockdown and only guidelines.

All advice and views welcome. TIA

No she can't see a friend. Can't she video chat with her instead?

The whole point in shutting schools are so people remain in the house and COVID 19 wont spead to as many people.
So no she shouldn't be going out or to her friends house.
I'm a key worker so my daughter will be going to nursery however on the other days when she doesnt go then we will be stopping in the house

That's what we've tried telling her but keeps coming up with a counter argument.

Our final decision will be what she has to stick to - I'm not scared of seeing that through etc but wanted to make sure I'd interpreted things right.

What are her counter arguments?

Realistically her social distancing will protect her, her friends and her family so it’s in her best interests. It is very, very hard though.

Just remind her that these are unprecedented times so it’s hard to predict the impact her going out will have. It’s better to be safe than sorry. Also her friends won’t be happy if she somehow passes on the virus to them, they’d probably change tact

List her counter-arguments?

I love a challenge.

No you are right. My 18 is desperate to see the boy she has been seeing but when he still going to pubs then it is a no. I've told her if she wants to behave like that she can live elsewhere.

DD 13 is delighted and has been in her room most of the time.

If her DFather is a key worker she had a duty to protect him so that he can continue with his role. Unfortunately being self centred is a teenage developmental stage so this is a struggle for them. All I can suggest is presenting her dilemma from the point of view of someone else eg how would you advise Aunty Yikes in this situation?

she's pointed out that if she was younger she'd probably be allowed to remain in school.

Just read this. Is she aware that this is out of necessity, not because it’s safe?

Also show her this article, particularly the screenshot

www.thesun.co.uk/news/11176662/coronavirus-live-uk-update-cases-death-toll/

There's a good article on bbc website about an Italian woman saying she wished they'd kept their teenagers in. I'll try and link if I can find it.

The word is unnecessary so no she can’t see her friend. Cases of the virus are doubling every 3-4 days. A percentage of those will end up in an ITU in hospital requiring ventilation which will quickly overwhelm ventilation capacity. The only way we can attack the mathematics of this is by reducing the infection rate by isolating. It’s highly likely at the end of this we’ll all know someone who has died, so I’d rather totally isolate now and not think I contributed to it.

Thanks for all the advice. She's obviously had a think about it overnight as she's now following the rules with no moaning.

Thanks. I think we just need to calmly and politely reinforce the advice and think about what we’re trying to achieve rather than massive criticism which I’m trying to do. Stay safe