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Would you still see close family members?

105 replies

Gruffalosandbuffalos · 20/03/2020 19:27

My parents are early 60’s, fit and well. They live round the corner and work full time. We see them regularly and it would absolutely traumatise my children to not see them for months on end.

My sister has a toddler and we usually see them once a fortnight. The thought of not seeing them is difficult but we could manage if we had to.

How strict are people being on seeing other family members if you are all fit and well?

OP posts:

lemonjam · 20/03/2020 21:30

I’m still seeing my (not that elderly) parents. They’re still working and shopping, I’m not. We’re not self isolating, we are social distancing.


StormyClouds · 20/03/2020 21:32


She said it was fine to meet a friend at the park, as long as it was not a large gathering of people.


Chewbecca · 20/03/2020 21:37

Thanks Etinox.

This thread flicked a switch in me, made me start my own thread & I have found a potential solution and (upsettingly) plan to stop seeing her.


raffegiraffe · 20/03/2020 21:38

Yes you can see them. But keep a distance. 2m. It can't travel further than that.


Whatsmyname26 · 20/03/2020 21:38

I read an article today relating to the Northwick Park situation saying 60 could end up a cut off point with treat or don’t treat. Please please don’t put your parents lives at risk. Teach them how to skype/FaceTime maybe but keep a distance


Scandimama · 20/03/2020 21:40

Hello OP, just to say, I get you. Live in Denmark, where stricter measures came in about a week ago, here the guidelines are keep two meters distance to anyone. So I consider it safe to meet my elderly parents in a park or for a forest walk, keeping distance and absolutely no touching, sharing or passing any items or walking close to each other. The likelihood of any germs passing when following those rules is pretty much zero, unless one of us was actually sneezing or coughing so that droplets would land on them, but would never see them if we were sneezing or coughing.

I think it's important to be cautious, but no reason to go above and beyon the guidelines from actual health authorities?


Scandimama · 20/03/2020 21:44

PS - I think the key to social contact in these circumstances is being outside. The majority of infections pass on through close contact and touching surfaces. Being outside eliminates most of the dangers, just make sure no touching and teach the children that too.


ScribblyGum · 20/03/2020 21:48

I went and saw my mum today. I sat on the patio with a coat and a hat and a thermos of coffee. She sat inside and had a cup of tea. We has some very efficient double glazing between us so I had to shout a bit Grin
It was a normal visit to see my mum and have a catch up, but I didn’t inadvertently kill her by doing it.


Muchtoomuchtodo · 20/03/2020 22:26

@lemonjam. You’re not social distancing effectively if you’re having non essential contact with people who don’t live in the same house as you.

What’s so difficult to comprehend?

Would you still see close family members?

Etinox · 20/03/2020 23:36

@Chewbecca Flowers
When this is over we can pat ourselves on the back- we may have saved some lives.


MigginsMrs · 20/03/2020 23:40

Going to work and buying food are essential activities. Seeing grandparents is not. No one will be bloody “traumatised” by not seeing family members for a few months fgs. Seeing them in hospital will be what’s traumatising


PumpkinP · 20/03/2020 23:53

I’ve just tried to explain this to my sister again as when I spoke to her earlier she had just got back from her friends house, she wouldn’t have any of it, said she would rather die than not see her friends or family. She said how comes it’s ok to go out to a supermarket or work then I tried to explain the difference between essential and non essential but like I said she refused to listen.


StormyClouds · 21/03/2020 00:35

I think a lot of people are misunderstanding the advice that has been given. The instruction is to 'reduce social contact' not to self isolate. This does not mean that you never leave the house.

Visiting a parent who is not in an at risk group at home for mother's day, having washed hands, is perfectly compatible with reducing social contact. It is about changing how we live, so eating at home rather than in a restaurant for example, not locking the doors and throwing away the key.

Even Boris himself said that he was hoping to see his mother at some point on Sunday.


Apirateslifeforme · 21/03/2020 00:45

Video chats are as close as I'm getting to anyone right now.


kittykat7210 · 21/03/2020 00:59

We are visiting my husbands parents for one last dinner on Sunday until the measures get reduced. None of us are sick, but we feel it’s important to say a proper farewell whilst we still can. After that it’s Skype/FaceTime until I go into labour and we have to drop our daughter round before heading to hospital!


RoseMartha · 21/03/2020 01:02

I will have to see my elderly parents as I am a carer for them. Will aim to leave the kids in their back garden if fine or in my car if raining while I am in the house.

One dc has asd and not able to be left in my home without an adult . I am divorced so will have to bring them along.

My sibling is a key worker, is dropping hints about me to have their dc when working. I am not sure about this, we are a close family and I often help out and see her problem but I feel this is a bit of a stupid thing to agree to. They have got an older child, older teen in fact who is refusing to help.

Plus i need to work from home three hours a day. And home school kids.


Greendin · 21/03/2020 01:13

In Scotland we have been told (by Nicola Sturgeon) "do not see your Grandchildren if you want to be alive to see them grow up". You are risking people's lives if you go ahead. Stop being selfish.


MindyStClaire · 21/03/2020 01:23

This is the official social distancing guidance everyone should be following, summarised in a handy table. Everyone, regardless of risk level, is advised against having visitors to the house.

Would you still see close family members?

Pixxie7 · 21/03/2020 01:24

The key word is essential, what’s not to get.


heebie · 21/03/2020 01:31

No. I'm very close to my parents and they to my kids. My dc spend their summers abroad in their other house. Now we wrap the door and say hello at a distance, I would never want their illness on my head


Escapetab · 21/03/2020 01:33

Don't have any visitors OP. You don't want your kids to get this. I know kids' symptoms are supposed to be milder but I'm pretty sure my son has it and milder isn't nothing. He has a high fever, he's coughing, miserable, and it's terrifying for me waiting to see what happens to him and my DH -and me. People in their 30s and 40s die less but they can still end up in hospitals and on ventilators and feel fucking awful. Protect yourself, protect your kids.


Yellowshirt · 21/03/2020 02:01

Why do people on mumsnet jump down others throats?
Someone was asking for advice probably having listened to Boris and bbc news all week. I've had 5 live on everyday and there contradiction is panicking and confusing people.
@SingleDadReally I look forward to your post explaining unnecessary.


Wingedharpy · 21/03/2020 02:13

For those that feel it's ok to visit because they are well and not in at risk group, Google asymptomatic transmission.
More than 10% of patients are infected by someone who has the virus but no symptoms.
Many children are spreaders in this way.

We are being told to do take these steps to protect the NHS.

If every bed, in every hospital is occupied by a patient with this virus, which is not beyond the realms of possibility given the speed at which it spreads, there will be no capacity to care for any other patients with other conditions.

Stay home for everyone's sake.


TeaAndDarkToast · 21/03/2020 02:17

If you truly loved them you will not visit them.


WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 21/03/2020 02:20

I'm all for not seeing parents (in 60s, great relationship, see weekly) indefinitely if it means keeping them safe.
They understand too.
MIL on the other hand,was here today, here yesterday, been out and around town several times, seriously won't stay put unless forced despite being well into 70s.
Should I start locking the door and shouting "We're not in!" through the letterbox?!

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